How should I feel my boyfriend buying me a xMas gift off his list?

Question

This was our first xMas spending time together. He was very affectionate, to the point I almost cried. He felt right and genuine. Before xMas, he seemed to know what to get me, but I had to ask him what he want. He gave me a list. On Christmas, we read our cards, but he insisted that I should open my gift when I left. I got home, open the gift - that's an expensive gift, but it is from one of the items in his gift list! Not sure how to feel about it. We're still new, but we are seriously talking about building our life together. Well, if we are together, my gift will be his favorite toy instead of mine. Not sure how should I feel about it.

Answer 1

Perhaps he thought that you enjoy the same things as he does, and that if he would really like to have it, you would too.

If your relationship is still quite new, he just doesn't know you well enough quite yet to know better. Live and learn, I suppose. Next time be sure to give him a list of your own... or make it plainly obvious what you'd like to have. Some guys are like that. They just have to be told what to get. My husband and I usually give each other several ideas and what we don't get from that, we get from being around each other. Most of my gifts this year were a complete surprise, but they were all things he knew that I wanted/needed by spending time with me.

Cut him a little slack this time and give him the benefit of the doubt. He should get better at the gift giving thing as you get to know each other. Once you've been through a few Christmases and know each other well, you'll be able to look back and laugh at how silly this one was.

Answer 2

It could be that he thought that you two were into the same things, so he thought that you'd like the same gifts he would want. Some guys really are just that clueless. It could be that he bought it so he could use it instead of you. (In that case, use it mercilessly & don't let him have it!)

Just smile, say thanks, & make sure to use the heck out of it! Don't let him use it (in case he bought it for his use) except in a rare occasion & next time give him a list of things you like. Drop strong hints. If he does it again, talk to him about it when it happens. Since this is your first gift giving occasion, it could be an accident or just a bout of cluelessness. It does suck, but it doesn't mean that he thinks any less of you because of it.

EDIT:

I'm assuming that he gave you a gender neutral gift & that it is something that you would like somewhat. If you don't like it at all, then you need to have a little talk with your boyfriend. Just say something along the lines of "Oh! Wasn't this on YOUR wish list? Did you get the list confused?"

Answer 3

LOL That boy has ballz! He bought something that he could play with rather than actually put time into picking something out for you. Unless you specifically asked for this or f you have any interest in this type of gift, he bought the gift for himself. Don't fall for the "I thought maybe you'd like to learn more about .... so we can share this activity together." It's a line of BS. I'd be totally ticked off about it.

Answer 4

Wronged......you should feel confused. Honestly I would ask him to return the gift for something else and let him learn his self-centered lesson. Let this be a lesson for the future with him as well.......as a test...he failed and wanting something so badly he gave it to you so he could use it.

I like the answerer above about buying him a dress in your size......AND I would wait to do that on Valentines Day....YEP....let him think you are ok with the gift....and quietly wait until Feb 14th to get your point across to him...Don't say a word about your Valentines Gift....but let him know exactly what you would like to do for the evening......and exchange a gift in enough time for you to wear your dress to dinner, so he can enjoy it..........LOL.....Seriously this is such a great idea and I hope you can pull it off.....He will know you wont be taken again.......Smart gal.....He will never do that to another woman again....as he will have certainly learned a good lesson in gift giving.
Bad judgement on his part.....good question too for us.....

Answer 5

This is your "ah ha!! moment!"

You are very lucky that you have learned that he is a selfish boob this early - and in time to tell him to get lost!

Of course you won't and then you will have a whole miserable life living with a self-centered jerk who only takes care of him while you take care of him too.

You can either tell him to take his gift and shove it, or you can keep the gift and tell him to get lost, or you can keep him and the gift and live the rest of your life in absolute misery - putting up with a creep who thinks of you last.

Good luck.

Answer 6

It would help if we knew what it is. I have often bought gifts that were something I'd want becuse I think it's nice.
If it's a boy toy of sorts, then I'd start rethinking this relationship.

Answer 7

haha your problem dosent actualy sound that bad! but I understand, it must feel very strnage and awkward to be around your boyfriends family. most likley his mother is very board and shopping is her "hobb" or its also possible the family is trying to impress you with there wealth. I think you should just humor her, and accept her gifts greatiously.

Answer 8

return it and get something off your list. of course that is rude, but if it is something you wear, you could claim it didn't fit and they didn't have one in your size. if they do and he checks, you could say others must have returned theirs too.

Answer 9

if you are with him for annother gift exchange...buy him a dress you really like in your size

Answer 10

its pretty sucky.


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