My 13 year-old stepson came home with a $100 bill and asked his mother to use it to buy a digital camera for his girlfriend. He says his girlfriend gave him the $100 bill for Christmas so he is buying her the camera in return. I think the whole thing sounds fishy and don't really think any 13 year-old girl would give her boyfriend a $100 bill for Christmas. My stepson has a tendency to lie about things.
My solution would be to politely make sure the girl's parents, who we haven't met yet, know about the initial gift and make sure they feel it is appropriate.
His mother's solution is to just trust him and buy the camera and wait for the next thing that doesn't make sense to pop up. She is embarrassed to admit to strangers that she might not trust her son.
This is our first experience with a teenager, but when I was a teenager, we exchanged cassette tapes or maybe clothes, but never cash and never in that amount.
Has anyone else had an experience like this? Any advice?
2007-12-26 02:12:59 · 8 answers · asked by wwbrad90 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
In my case, the children's father is not actively involved in their upbringing, so I feel I have the right to have a hand in discipline. Also, my wife is a bit naive about things that teenagers can get into these days. My stepson was caught cheating in class the other day and she chose to treat it as an isolated incident even though I'm sure he does it all the time. She grounded him for a couple of days until his daily average came up in a couple of classes.
2007-12-26 02:49:24 · update #1
OK, I am changing my answer based on your clarification. Does the mom allow you to co-parent? If so, I think the phone call is a reasonable solution, and you're smart to have found a way to couch it, by the appropriateness rather than your suspicion about the hundred bucks.
If the mom is prickly about you being involved, I think you're stuck watching the trainwreck. Just protect your finances because she will be shelling out whenever he gets into trouble.
.
2007-12-26 02:21:47 · answer #1 · answered by Kacky 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your solution is right on. Call the girls parents and let them know about the gift and see where it goes from there. I agree that the story sounds fishy....
I have a 13 year old son and would take the exact same action in the same situation.
I don't see this as much about trusting your son, his story could be totally honest. The girl could have given him the money. Kids that age have access to cash from birthdays and even holiday gifts. My son has $90 bucks in his wallet right now. I do agree that the gift is too much for the age. You need to find out if the girl's parents approve of a gift like that.
Don't feel bad about parenting your kid and asking questions when a situation doesn't seem quite right. This is your job as a parent! If you can't call parents that you don't know about cash, imagine what's going to happen if it's about sex, drugs or alcohol?
I think the other parents will appreciate the call no matter what the result. Wouldn't you want the same call from them?
Convince your wife and instead of taking an accusatory tone when she calls, see it as giving the other parents a heads up. Good luck :)
2007-12-26 02:34:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not a question of trust, it's a question about the right thing to do. Unless the boy's girlfriend is trumps daughter, then no 13 yr old should be giving away 100 bills. Besides, it's not really the son's trust worthiness, it's the girls. Ask the girls parents. I can't see a situation where that would be the wrong thing to do.
2007-12-26 02:27:06 · answer #3 · answered by triumph 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. Call the girls parent's. You do not know if she possibly earned the money through babysitting or a gift, but I would certainly make sure. I, personally, do not think 13 year olds should exchange a gift more than $20.
You have good reason to be concerned, expecially if your step-son has already given her a gift. That makes it a little extra fishy.
2007-12-26 03:32:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
10 year old boy - nerf makes a lot of fun toys in the $10-15 range. 13 year old girl - gift card to target, she will love the money and is probably very into make-up (which you would not want to pick out for her), write what its for on the gift card if you want it to be more personal.
2016-05-26 07:09:52 · answer #5 · answered by desirae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though the girl is usuing the boy to get a digital camera - and then be able to say when asked where she got it that it was a gift.The real question as you say is where *she* got the money.
I would certainly contact the parents of the girl - and keep a firmer eye on the boy too - he's a bit young for "girlfriends" yet surely.
2007-12-26 03:17:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
u have been teenager long time ago,everything is changing ...trust him as he has trusted u. Behave friendly to him & let him know that he has a family that ll help him not enemies that r lookig for his flaws.
2007-12-26 02:21:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a fine gift, some of my friends exchanged DS for xmas this year.
A digi-cam is fine.
2007-12-26 02:22:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋