Ok I work in a small Insurnace office with just my boss and I. He is 59 I am 32. He is married I am not but I am in a comitted long term relationship. We do not have an outside of work relationship, we do talk about our lives, but nothing intimate. Well anyway for Christmas, he got me a pair of vibrating underware. It came with a remote that he had behind his desk, so when I opened it, he turned it on! I almost died! I couldn't beliveve he gave me that...Well anyway, it bothered me so much I cannot go in today, I just cant get myself to do it. I did take the present, cause I felt I may need it to show my working conditions. I have known he has been doing things to himself in his office if you know what I mean, and that he is into porn at work, but up until now, he has never bothered me, Do you feel this is a legitimate form a sexual harassment?
2007-12-26 01:18:38 · 16 answers · asked by Marcie E 5 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Well I went to work today and I am going to give him the "present" back. I did take pictures of it, so we shall see how it goes! I am a bit worried of the outcome, but like a few of you have said I need to let him know these advances are not acceptable! I will keep you updated.
2007-12-27 02:29:53 · update #1
Hey Wacky Weed go smoke some more! I am not trying to sure him, I am trying to go to work and do my job and not have anything sexual said or done or given to me. I come to work to work.
2007-12-27 04:47:57 · update #2
You got very good answers. The other thing about sexual harassment is that it is partly subjective. It is highly relevant how the gift affected YOU as an individual--not if another person would have taken it as a joke. Under these circumstances however, it's hard to see how any one could have viewed this as appropriate. Your facts also lead me to conclude that you said or did nothing that would cause him to believe the gift would be welcomed. You have a lot of choices--1) do nothing (bad choice; his behavior will escalate); 2) return the gift and tell him it is unwelcomed and inappropriate. If he begins treating you differently, it increases your damages; 3) file a complaint with the Human Rights Division of your state government; 4) file an EEOC complaint with the federal government; or 5) report him to his insurance companies superiors. I defend employers in this area of the law. At this point, if I were defending him, I'd be trying to convince you to settle it quietly for money damages and a better work environment. I'd be suggesting to the insurance company to send this man for a psycological evaluation and then demote and transfer him.
2007-12-26 01:53:12 · answer #1 · answered by David M 7 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Well, this is certainly inappropriate given your understanding of the relationship. If this demonstrates a pattern then you really need to act and file charges. If this has been a one time event then you need to consider what it going on (this is still no excuse for his inappropriateness. You need to face this issue with him. I would suggest that you don't do it alone. Take a friend that you trust with you to the office and talk it out with him. If you feel the working relationship has been damaged then quit and look for another job. On the other hand this could just be a old fart farting in the wrong place at the wrong time.
2007-12-26 01:53:48 · answer #2 · answered by Brent 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You would be on shaky ground to try to claim sexual harassment.
Sexual harassment is usually not a one-event thing. It is a continual on-going thing where the boss or whoever keeps doing things even after you ask him to stop.
1. Do not mention the gift to him.. If he asks whether you liked it or something like that, tell him the truth: that you felt uncomfortable and you really didn't appreciate it. DON'T PRETEND that you liked it or else it will encourage him to do something else.
2. Keep a log of any inappropriate behavior - keep times, dates, everything. This is very important to prove a pattern of behavior.
3. If he does anything inappropriate to you - a bad touch, etc- be firm, be strong, tell him that if he does it again, you will contact the authorities. AND DO IT if he does! If you say something and don't follow through, he will claim that you were just teasing him, etc.
You see, just giving a gag gift to you - which is what it sounds like - just doesn't mean sexual harassment. If he doesn't do anything else, then be mature, be professional, be polite but be on guard.
If "doing things to himself in his office" means masturbation or something like that, then you need to be careful. Again, just be polite, be professional - but be on guard.
Is there a main office? A headquarters? A person who you could go to and talk - someone like a human resources person?
god bless
2007-12-26 01:41:48 · answer #3 · answered by happy pilgrim 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
The harassment must be "sufficiently severe or pervasive 'to alter the conditions of [the victim's] employment and create an abusive working environment.'" Henson v. City of Dundee, 682 F.2d 897, 902 (11th Cir. 1982).
Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitute sexual harassment when this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual's employment, unreasonably interferes with an individual's work performance, or creates an intimidating, hostile, or offensive work environment.
I think it's singularly appropriate, and might be grounds for an action under Title VII. Report it to the EEOC at http://www.eeoc.gov and let them investigate it.
2007-12-26 01:23:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Of course its sexual harrassment, you just need to ask yourself if its worth all of the trouble to go to the legal procedures advised elsewhere in this thread. After all you said its a small office.
On the other hand if you could sneak in a camera and or sound recorder and make incriminating images or sounds of what he is doing behind his desk, you will eventually have enough on him to threaten to tell and show everything to his WIFE, and then you can make him roll a peanut across the floor with his nose.
2007-12-26 02:21:12 · answer #5 · answered by Agent 00Zero 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If it make you feel uncomfortable you need to let him know. or he well keep it up or you could get another job, anyway there are LAWS and employees rights that you have against sexual harassment it would do you good to look them up or ask a lawyer about. You should have said thanks for the gift but I can not accept it.
2007-12-26 01:34:54 · answer #6 · answered by T 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
First, this is probably sexual harassment.
Second, I don't believe Title VII covers businesses with less than 15 employees.
Third, your state probably has a parallel statute to Title VII which does cover small businesses.
Fourth, talk to a lawyer.
2007-12-26 07:44:10 · answer #7 · answered by reallypablo 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Strangely enough, everybody's right. It might just be his stupid idea of a gag gift, but it makes you very uncomfortable and it does make you unable to do your job. I'd report him to the proper authorities and find a new job.
2007-12-26 01:34:15 · answer #8 · answered by jack of all trades 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
yes. That is a completely inappropriate gift for him to have given you. I suggest you go to the authorities and than go find a new job.
2007-12-26 01:22:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It is abosolutely sexual harrasment. Get a lawyer. You should win a settlement hands down. The guy is an idiot if it didn't occur to him that his was highly inapppropriate.
2007-12-26 01:37:23 · answer #10 · answered by opinionator 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋