Men men and men. Its long but i need advice about anything?

Question

I broke up with my ex just over a month ago, but we still see eachother casually and are trying to work it out so we might be able to get back together. But we are constantly fighting, most of it, is over stupid stuff.

A couple of days ago, we had another fight and i told him i couldnt try anymore over text. There is this other guy who has been msging me the last couple of weeks, coz he wanted to take me out to dinner and watch a movie at his, so after this arguement with my ex, i finally agreed.

My ex sent me a text later that night asking if i was with a guy and i said that i would talk to him later. I ended up sleeping with this guy who took me out to dinner, and i told my ex the very next day.

My ex acts like i cheated on him, but said we can still try to c if we could have a relationship, if i get this other guy completely outa my life.

I told this other guy that i was guna stop seeing him and explained. He was really pissed off, even tho i warned him it might happen.

I chose my ex, over this new guy. But im afraid of cutting this other guy out of my life. Last time an ex made me give up 2 of my male friends, one of them ended up dying in a car crash and i never 4gave myself, for not spending more of my life with him.

Anyway what would u do? I need advice and other peoples veiws.

Answer 1

You need to be away from all the guys and get strong and figure out how you want to be treated. And when you are in a relationship if it doesnt match how you want to be treated then you get out of it.

Just look at you and your ex - always fighting and having him make you dump friends. Is that what you really want?

If you were trying to work things out with your ex then you should not have gone out with the other guy. In the very least you have shown your ex that he better step up his game because there are plenty of guys out there who will be more than happy to have you.

Now you need to make sure you lay down the law to the ex - how you want to be treated, you will decide on your friends and you both need to find better ways of communicating and respecting each others opinions rather than fighting over stupid things. Tell him you want things to change. Dont go back and pick up where you left off.

Answer 2

Do you love your ex? You may think it's a stupid question but if you have to think about it then you have most of your answer right there. You love you parents, brothers and friends etc however you fall 'in love' with your boy/girlfriend. How many times will you give this a go before you finally realise that maybe it just wasn't meant to be? I don't want to sound harsh....just realistic. I think you need to move on from your ex....start afresh. Weigh up the pros and cons of the relationship and consider if it's too stale to start afresh. If you care for the other guy you slept with then why not give it a go? You should let go of your friends for a partner....don't make a decision that you could regret later down the track. Think about your needs and feelings.

Good luck girl.

P.s you didn't cheat on your ex....he is an ex not the current bf! Don't let him make you feel bad about it!

Answer 3

You are the only person that knows what is best for you and you should date whomever you chose and not have to explain your choice to anyone. It is your life and the men you are dating should have little say in it until you agree to become engaged until then the dating game is open season so go have fun. It is ok to date more than one man at a time that's why it is called dating so both parties have the opportunity to sort out who is the best match for them. Don't worry if a guy really loves you he will not be dissuaded if you date other men, he will just try harder. He may prefer that you be his alone and would more than likely be delighted to have things his way until he decides if he wants to go further with the relationship, but a little friendly competition goes a long way in weeding out the one in it for the short haul. Life is too short to spend too much time on things that don't matter. Go out and have a good time. Date lots of men and when the right guy comes along you will be better equipped to recognize it when it happens. Good Luck

Answer 4

If all you do is argue and he keeps asking you to 'give up stuff' then IMHO you two should not be together. A good relationship is one where you acept each other for who you are and are able to have your own hobbies and friends without it being an issue.

For many years I kept dating guys that just didn't get what I was interested in and some of them even tried to stop me. I just walked away from them and down the line I'm so much happier. I have a wonderful jobs, brilliant friends and plenty of hobbies. I've not been so happy, healthy and generally feeling good in a long time and its taken me a while to realise that you have to be yourself and can't let anyone stop that.

I say walk away from both of these guys and spend some time getting to know yourself. What do you like about yourself, what do you want to change and what things have you always wanted to do? Be happy in yourself and the rest will follow.

Answer 5

Seems like if you and your ex are always fighting and squabbling over the little thing its not worth it. He became your ex for a reason. This other guy seems sincere if he's pissed even after you slept with him...because sex, it seems, is ultimately what guys are after. Date both of them for a week, (let them know of course) and see who you feel better with. By letting both guys know, you'll also be able to find out who is more passionate about you more.

Answer 6

Either date them both and don't go to bed with either one of them. Become friends first for a long time and then you'll know which one you like better. The first guy..if you're constantly fighting, that doesn't sound like fun, so I'd drop him. The second guy date...and find some others to date too, but don't go to bed with them. Don't be easy and they'll like being friends with you better in the long run...that's if you're looking for a real friendship. Wish you luck there!

Answer 7

You do whatever you think it is going to take to make you happy. If you want to get back in with your ex then either **** or get off the pot. Either get back in with him or get rid of him. Same goes for him. Figure out if you two can work work things out. If you can't then move on. As for the guy on the side that you are playing with. Get him out of the picture until you know what you are doing. I don't care if you warned him that you might be getting in with your ex. You're playing with him and you are going to hurt him. Figure out what you want and what you don't want and stop complicating things.

Answer 8

If you are sleeping with men you have only dated once, you are definitely not in love with your ex. People take a long time to get over true love. Let the poor guy go and get him some too!!

Answer 9

You need to seriously think about what your "ex" wants out of this. It seems as if he just wants to control you, am I wrong? Sit back and think about WHY you care for this man "Specific" reasons, and if you can come up with the final thought of he is the one, then you have your answer. Remember that there is a reason he is your "EX."

Answer 10

He's probably your ex for a good reason. It's hard to move on to a new relationship when you've still got that comfortable old one hanging around. Maybe you two should just stop seeing each other for a while and give yourselves a chance to move on.