How do you earn his respect after you let him get away with to much?

Question

i am so disappointed in my life right now. i feel like i hav no way out of this relationship. i feel like i need this person in my life bc he brings me happiness but then i think about how he tried to get back with his ex gf and i forgave him for it when i found out about it. idk what to do anymore...i feel like i need him to breathe bc he is such a big part of my life. but i have other friends and family that tell me to leave him but i cant do it right now. i feel like i know the right thing to do is to leave him but my heart wants to stay bc i have faith that he will change and learn to respect and honor me but its been almost a year since he started ******* up...and idk how much more i can take of this. i would love to hear feedback from anyone with good advice bc i have been struggling for so so long. i feel that bc we are in a long distance relationship right now, we started to argue so much on the phone but we are ok when were together but he does respect me fully...idk...

not to be cocky but i do feel like i never thought i would be in this situation. and i dont know how to get out of it. i cant seem to trust him. but idk if i can get out of it with my dignity bc i have been through so much with this person he cares about me but idk how to be a stronger person. no one has ever hurt me that way.

i am not sure if i can forgive and forget, ever since i first found out i have been suspicious that it would happen again with another girl and it did. he didnt do anything physical he said some things that shouldnt have been said to them. i know what i should do and reading everyones advice lets me know that im right...thanks. and just to answer the question. we are in love and we care about eachother alot. i have let my insecurites take over..i shouldnt feel this need to stay.

Answer 1

You keep waiting for him to change.

and wait.........

and wait.......

and wait........

and wait..........

and wait.........

and wait.......

and wait.........

and wait.........

Answer 2

Relationships can survive through this kind of scenario if the communications are open and you have discussed what led him to try and get back with his x girlfriend in the first place. Has he expressed more happiness with you now? Can you forgive him? Relationships take work and as long as you feel he seems more committed than before that happened than you can get through it. If you feel that nothings changed than its time to figure out how you can move on. Only you know whats going on. I wouldn't worry what others are saying. Just because someone tried to get back with an x doesn't mean you have nothing. Alot of times people look back at past relationships and ponder if something else could be done with them. The old the grass is greener on the other side. If you love him and want it to work just be there and be his safe place to fall. If its a long distance relationship you need to value the time you do have instead of getting caught up in insecurities. Ifs its meant to be it will all fall into place. Best wishes

Answer 3

Sometimes our heart doesn't know what is best for us. You need to stop and think of all that has happened, weigh it up, and then make a decision. Write it down on paper sometimes seeing the good written down next to the bad makes it clearer. Long distance relationship are hard, and only the ones that are really strong will survive, because one person is more committed then the other, makes for a rocky time. Everyone can tell you what they think, but in the long run it is what you decide that matters.

Answer 4

it is making you unhappy isn't it...your torn because your head is telling you one thing and your heart another. I have struggled with things like this before (not such a big f-up though on his behalf) it is hard to actually do the big breakup thing but you are doubting yourself. Maybe you need to break up with him and get some of your self confidence back. Go out with friends, have a good time, forget about him for a while. If he is serious and still wants you after a few months then that is fine but seriously, you need to take a break so you can give yourself time to think about things :)

Answer 5

hi..well true love is hard to find, i was in a similar prob about a year ago, n i decided to 4give n 4get,2day, im a happily married man... so if u ask me, i woild say follow your heart, no relationship is easy, so work at it now and enjoy the benefits later.. but don let him get away with it easy, make sure he knows what he did was wrong... if he feels the same bout u, like how u feel for him, he should pop the question soon, if it doesnt happen within the next few months, i would think u should move on... hope all works out well.. enjoy.... :)

Answer 6

you are on the same track as me god. i just broke up with my frd. we were together for 2 years.he was trying to forget his past and i was hoping that he will see what i am seeing for him.but u knw what happened on his birthday he told me that hes getting married and would like me to be there as a freind. and that i am very special for him as a freind. i think as if i never was his friend,if i was he wud have known my feelings and respected that.u need to know for once what he wants i aslo had faith like u have.if he has respect for you and most imp. love he will commit .leave him for a while ad see if he comes back there was something and if he dosent den move on.u should take a decision else u will get hurt even more after some time

Answer 7

Listen, been there and done that with my first for everything that I dated a year. My family and friends ALL tried telling me he was seeing his EX behind my back. I knew for a fact he had been text messaging her and I let it slide. One night I was coming home and saw him and her in a church parking lot together and that was my sign to let him go. If he really did respect you he wouldn't have did that BULL to begin with honestly. I don't even know you, but I do know from experiencing it with someone for a year that you can do so much better! Especially if he's tried doing it more than once! If it happens once shame on him but happens twice shame on YOU for letting it happen.

Answer 8

You should never let any one use you,other wise it's not a healthy relationship for either of you.
Take a break from each other for a while and see how it goes for a while .Then see how it goes may be you need to stay a way and think.

Answer 9

Idk, idk, idk, idk - that's all I heard you say. I don't know? If you're hesitating then you should definitely go with your gut instinct, it's the best thing right now; always rely on it. There are plenty of guys out there that would treat you better than this guy, you need to move on - and remember, no woman needs a guy to make her happy. You are better than this, you need to realise it and move on because only you can change this situation. What a loser! I hope I've helped, you sound like a sweet person. Happy holidays and good luck! :-)

Answer 10

I say dump the chump. He isn't making your life better and in fact he is making it worst and making you happy. Respect yourself and tell him to move on down the highway.

Answer 11

You allowed yourself to become his doormat and you have lost face ... BIG TIME. There is no way to get respect back. Dump him, move on and don't repeat your mistake.