My Mom died 2 yrs ago?

Question

of cancer. Doctors lied, said she'll be fine and when she died I freak out because I never in my life would imagine my Mom dead ever. and up to today it feels like yesterday. Im so afraid this pain would never go away. My Bf tells me i should talk about my Mom more to let the pain out. When I do talk about her I always (ALWAYS) end up sobbing and crying. I miss her so much. I get so sad and this pain is something so painful, like a piece of your heart has been ripped out of you. I miss my Mom so much and people say I would move on, but look at me 2 yrs later the pain I feel is about the same.

Whenever I cry to my BF I can see how sorry he is that I lost my Mom. He;s really the only person I talk to about how I feel. When I try to tell my sisters we just all end up crying.. .so I never really want to make anyone else sad by bringing up my Mom. I just miss her so much, at times, I dont really know what to do.. .


Does anyone knows how it feels to lose someone?

I just wanted to share my story. My life does go on, but I just miss her. Many times I cry tears of joy becuz I remember all the memories we had, which I am thankful for. I am happy with my Life, but all Im saying is, I really think I would never get over my Mom;s death... .I miss her so much.. .

whats even harder is my Mom is buried in another country. I wish I could just see her and visit her everyday.. .

Answer 1

There is nothing wrong of the way you are feeling. My dad has been gone since 1988 and it feels like yesterday too. I miss him just as much today. Don't let people tell you how to feel. You have a wonderful friend who listens to you.

Talk to your mom. Just because you cannot physically see her does not mean she cannot be a part of your life. When you have to make a decision, think of what your mom would say to you and let her guide you. She will always be with you and your sadness proves how deeply you love her.
It will get better with time but just keep her close to you so you will not feel the loss.

Answer 2

I've lost a lot of people. We all deal with it differently.

If it hurts that much to talk about it right now, then don't, because what are you doing? Hurting yourself. When it is right, you can.

Whenever I think about my daughter (4 years ago) or one of my best friends (6 years ago), or my ex's mom (2 years ago), it hurts. There are sometimes I just bust out crying when I'm alone, but, I almost always feel better after I do. I try to remember the good times, all the things that were right and made me happy, and I focus on that... that at least I had those happy times when I did, instead of nothing but misery my whole life. I'm not happy that it ended like it did but I'm lucky to have had them for as long as I did.

I hope that you can come to a place in your life where you find something that works for you. It isn't easy, but it can happen.

Answer 3

For years I could not go to the cemetary where my maternal grandfather is buried. I would only break down in tears.

There is no timetable for grieving. While the sense of loss and the intermittent sadness may never go away completely, people experience the cycle of grief differently. Some find that within a few weeks or months the period between waves of distress lengthens, and they are able to feel peace, renewed hope, and enjoy life more and more of the time. Others may face years of being hit with what feels like relentless waves of grief.

This website has a lot of good information and suggestons about grieving.

Answer 4

Absolutely...I lost my mom without warning in 1999...it felt like I didn't really hear anything for about a year...I was sort of in a fog. I was so distraught that I would not deal with the dispositon of her house for 1 year. I would go for walks at night and cry my eyes out. I avoided talking to my sister on the phone because it would inevitably end up with both of us being in tears. After a couple of years of this, I realized I was having a difficult time in managing my life...I went to the doctor and got medication to help me through...It didn't change the situation, and I didn't feel different, it just helped me do what I had to get done. One thing that I found was odd was that the first day that I realized I was not overcome by grief for most of the day I think I felt guilty. (It sure did not mean that I stopped missing my mom...I was just able to do what I needed to do).
No one can feel what you feel...not even your sisters...every one experiences grief in their own way. (After about 6 months of my mom dying, my common law boyfriend said "Get over it...it's been long enough". He's not a part of my life any more.) Do get help...it doesn't mean you are weak...you would probably go for other medical reasons, so for your sake and your and your boyfriend's peace and sanity, talk to a doctor.
Saw your additional details...make a place in your house or garden that is a memorial to her...in your garden you could have her favorite flowers, cement statue that reminds you of her likes...you could put together a shadow box to hang on the wall with her picture, piece of fabric of clothing of hers, small item that she owned.

Answer 5

Oh Dear, I have the shirt for this one for sure. I lost my Father 15 years ago, my dog 6 months later, my Mother and I became so close, it was like she was my second love in life. I lost her to Cancer in 04, in two weeks. no time to say good bye the way I would have like too, but then I didn't know how.

I kiss her and told her to say hi to my fishing buddy and tell him I still dream of him and me, and then she died.

I still think sometimes of something I need to tell her and start to call, and then remember she is not their now. I do go by her grave and sit a few times a year and talk and I think she hears me. I cry, as I'm doing now, as I know you will as you read this and think of your Mother also. The hard is love is the best, and I wouldn't of wanted any less love from them, so I will miss them, and cry form them, but mostly for me, I'm here and I miss them, but I have a life her and now, and I will go on with it, as you must do. Save the pictures and cards, you will pull then out a few times a year and check to see if you still have the memory's and you will, just like yesterday when she called you to the table for breakfast as a little girl.

God Bless You, your as normal as a Daughter should be!
johnny

Answer 6

yes i do, when i was in 6th grade i got off the bus and opened the door and my grandmother ( i lived with her for 2 years when my parents where going through a NASTY divorce) was dead right infront of the door.. all my friends where going into their house and i never said anything to them.. i called 911 and covered her up, i was just a baby i didn't know what to do? i didn't have anyone.. and the police officers accused me of it!!! when the doctors got it all wrong, they missed her blood clot.. the next day i went to school.. and ever scene them when i was by myself i would get so upset and think of scenes of saving people.. the only person i have really told was my ex bf and then one day he broke up with told me we where getting back together and then i called him and his phone number change, i have this thing where i worry about people all the time.. sooner or later i had to dig deep and grieve over my grandmother..and my parents are very much closed out people to the world.. so when i'm alone i do cry, i've learned there is nothing wrong with it .. if anything it shows i cared about her, and miss her very much.. it was hard still is hard, and to this day it affects me.. you never really get over.. like you i can't imagine losing my mom.. but you stronger then the average girl so take the pain you have and put it into determination and use it to make this world a better place, thats what i do.. now i am one of the most caring, supportive girl in the world.. i value my friendships so much more, god would of never handed you this if you couldn't handle.. cry.. cry .. cry.. miss her.. its very normal.. turn to people you can trust.. and one day you get a connect with your mom .. and it will show that she is still here, you just got to look a little harder=] i wish you the best, and its people like you who have been through hard times i look up too.. i hope you had a good christmas.. stay strong!!!!! and just look a little harder your mom is here, shes looking over you and sooner or later everything will be better.. 2 years isn't that long.. you perfectly fine.. =]

Answer 7

I lost my Dad, 3 years ago. Cancer.
I know that he would be devastated if he thought for one minute that he caused me pain for any reason. Therefore I am happy because of him.
I am a born-again Christian so I believe he is in a better place. He has his reward. So I would be feeling sorry for myself if I felt sad. Yes I miss him terribly. At the same time I am so happy to have had a father that I could love so much.

I mean to say that it is not about me but him.

Move on when you feel like it, not when some one else tells you to.

Answer 8

yes, my dad died in an accident - then my mom died of CHF 1 and a half years later because she didn't take care of herself because of my dad dying - they were married 30 years. it doesn't really get any less painful, but try to focus on everything good you had when she was here. try to feel blessed with the time you did have together - she could have died giving birth. every moment is a blessing that we didn't think about until it was gone. when you have kids of your own, it will be a little easier, but then there will be times when you will cry again because of how much she would have enjoyed them, or questions you could have asked about what to do for them. I hope this has helped you.

Answer 9

Try to keep yourself busy and do not dwell on it. It is okay to get sad and cry sometimes, but just try your best to stay busy and do not focus on it. I have found that time is the only thing that makes me feel any better when there is a tragic loss. I lost my Dad when I was a little kid and I remember crying a lot, but as time goes by, you learn to accept that it happened and that you can't change it.

Also, I'm so sorry for your loss. I still haven't figured out why things like that have to happen...

Answer 10

My father died when I was two years old. I'm jealous you even have an image of your mom. All throughout my life, I'm 18 now, the thought of losing my mom was everywhere. She had high blood pressure, ovarian cancer, type II diabetes and the stress of raising two kids on her own. She's okay now, but the thought of her being without pain comforts me. I know that the day she passes will be a day of relief - she gets to be with my dad, her first and only love, the only person that makes her happy.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you never, well in my opinion, never really "get over" the loss of someone. You can never forget - work on never losing that memory. The death of my father resulted in us moving to the U.S. and now look - my brother and I are in top universities and we're finally having the life my father wanted. There's a reason for everything and without that happening, I wouldn't be the same person. I don't even know if my dad touched me or held me - loved me?

Hold on to her but don't let it consume your life. Cry. Crying is a gift, don't be ashamed. As a college freshmen, alone and battered - I cry walking around campus - Thinking if my dad did that same or if he had the same struggles. I create my life in an image of him - his kindness and humility, perseverance and truth.

Be glad you have someone to confide in. I grew up crying to myself every night jealous of those who took the love for their parents for granted and fought with them.

Write. Write all the stories you know, keep her memory alive and never forget. But you have to take care of yourself, cry when you have to, talk when feel like it, don't keep it bottled up. CRY! And remind yourself, there's a meaning for everything.