We pulled names in our family as secret santa to purchase one person a gift. Me and my husband are on a tight budget and purchased our gifts as gift cards $15 - $ 25 dollars. When I presented my gift to my person, she was upset cause the amount was not $50 dollars and up. I told her that I was on a budget and if she did not like it, to give it back. The reason I said this was because while I step out the house for a while, she discussed her issue with other family members and not me. She kept saying that the least was $50.00 and If I couldn't afford it, I should not have participated. I told her I did not know that the least was $50. Me and my husband was upset cause we had already told her about our situation. Then she just started talking about it with the family. I was so upset that I told her that I thought she was being silly, immature, and ungrateful. I also told her that I would never pull names again with her. Was I too mean? I feel bad.
2007-12-25 18:32:56 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
This all depends on the original agreement of exchanging names....... was it agreed upon that the gift would be the $50.00 price range? If it was, and you knew you couldn't afford it, you shouldn't have participated in the drawing of names this year.....Sorry, but she's right. I don't think she had to be so obnoxious about it, though.
2007-12-25 23:39:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's why I hate that kind of exchanges.... and even though I agree that a price range should be agreed upon (because it wouldn't be fair to get a $10 present if you spent $50 -- but then again, that's a personal decision) I don't think there should be a "minimum" amount and especially taking into account that you're in a particularly difficult situation at the moment being. That should be considered, and more so if it's a FAMILY member.
Why would YOU feel bad...???? SHE should be ashamed of her greedy and rude behavior and apologize!!! I'd have told her exactly the same -- if she didn't like the gift, she can always give it back. And if I were you, I'd definitely refuse to pull names with her again. What an ungrateful, inconsiderate person..... don't even think about it anymore, just think that it was HER who caused this tension in the family, not you. Hope you had a nice Xmas for the rest......
2007-12-25 19:30:12 · answer #2 · answered by Lprod 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if it matters to you now but here is my opinion.
First, the person you gave gift card to was very immature and rude for sure. She should have not acted the way she did and should have not said anything to anybody. But here is other thing, I would never give gift card to anybody if it's a gift for secret Santa. (unless the person is in need of gift card from specific store) I think it's not fun and not thoughtful. People do secret Santa because you don't have to buy presents to everybody so you can concentrate on one person. Gift card seems to me like you didn't want to spend time for the person. (I also don't like to give them because, yes, the amount is usually on the card. Tacky) You could've made something as a gift if you are on the budget. I would rather have some hand made scarf than gift card. That's my preference, you know not everybody appreciates things like that. (especially if you are brand whore.) I think you should have been creative for the present. I know she understands your situation. I hope you guys made up and are talking. Wishing you the best.
2007-12-29 18:25:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The person organising the draw should have clearly explained the amount of money involved so the participants could decide for themselves whether they wanted to take part.
If this lady went into the draw spent $50 thinking she would get $50 back in return, she does have a right to feel upset, although NOT with you!
It may seem mean on her part to feel this way, but she may be on a budget, too.
However, she should definitely not have discussed this with anyone except the person who organised the draw. To talk about it with your family was very unfair.
Speak to the person who organised it and let them know you were unhappy how things turned out. Let them know you will only participate in future if the dollar amount is clearly spelled out in the beginning.
Cheers :-)
2007-12-25 23:46:14 · answer #4 · answered by thing55000 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well its a double edge sword. If there was an agreement that the gift should be 50.00 or more, you should have declined to participate. But if there was not a set limit, she was being rude. Xmas can be hard on some when they just don't have it to spend. Families should understand that. Next year there needs to be more communication on this, so feelings do not get hurt.
2007-12-26 01:45:31 · answer #5 · answered by tnbadbunny 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm so proud of you. Unlike so many others who get caught up in the festivities of Christmas and end up in unresolvable debt in the new year, you chose to give gifts that were affordable for your family's financial situation.
She was the one in the wrong. A gift given with love does not carry a monetary value except to an inappreciative recipient.
I guess you're feeling bad because you had some harsh words to say to her, but I don't blame you one little bit. Families!
2007-12-25 20:55:32 · answer #6 · answered by Miss Sally Anne 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When we do gift drawings in our family it's always $20. We all have kids to buy for beside brothers and sister and spouses. Plus there is so many that no one would participate if the limit was $50. We only do that for my dad. She sounds like an ungrateful b^*#h. Let her talk her BS to the rest of the family, she's only making herself look spiteful and pathetic.
2007-12-25 18:47:04 · answer #7 · answered by hoppykit 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you were mean at all. I think you had every right to say that to her. They should have set the price limits at the time of the drawing of names. And $50 is a bit steep. Why should there be a minimum? Sounds like she's a little spoiled and needs to grow up. She may think $50 isn't much but it is when you're on a budget. Don't feel bad, your actions are justified.
2007-12-25 18:41:36 · answer #8 · answered by Amy 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I think she is terribly rude to bring it up at all... If she wanted to gossip about how bad your gift was, she should have waited until after the party and only talked with 1 best friend about it...
But she put you in an awful position and YES she is very ungrateful...
If it were me, I would be so glad that someone got me anything at all.
Sorry you had to experience that - God bless you for even trying to do something nice.
Merry Christmas.
2007-12-25 18:46:19 · answer #9 · answered by rabble rouser 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she was upset because she spent more than that on her gift to someone else. She was prolly expecting something of the same value. I don't think you were in the wrong, she should have been grateful and understanding. What a spoiled poop. Just goes to show how materialistic some people are.
2007-12-25 18:45:36 · answer #10 · answered by jchcmax 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋