my boyfriend keeps bringing up the fact that he wants to do certain things like fingering and touching and stuff like that and im not really sure if i am ready but i really really think i love him. i dont know how i could tell him no or if i should. HELP please!
2007-12-25 17:50:44 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is exactly when you will find out if he truly cares for you. Just tell him that you are not ready to do anything like that yet. Tell him that if he respects you, and loves you, he will understand.
Never let any guy, no matter how much you love him, push you into doing anything that you are uncomfortable with. If they love you, they will accept you as you are, and respect you for being that way.
When the time is right, you will not have to ask anyone else about it, you will know within you.
2007-12-25 17:59:00 · answer #1 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all how long have you been dating! and second i dont think your ready either. The reason is is because you are asking yourself if you are ready. That is a sign that your not. Trust me dont do it. Heres the deal...ask yourself why you think he wants that? Why does he want to do that with you???? that easy anser is because HE desires it. He is not thinking about you and most guys when they get in the "mood" dont think about it they think about what feels good and what can satisfy them. If he really loves you then he will respect you! AND he wont need to do those things with you because you as a person is what should be desired not your body. SOOOOO stand firm dont let him degrade you or lust after you becuase your better than that!!
You dont sound ready so dont. PS love takes time...lots of time...and it isnt based on anything physical!! trust me you'll know it when it comes and you wont have to question anything. Dont let him push you around... and if he doesnt send him to the curb you dont want any man to do that!!
2007-12-26 02:00:22 · answer #2 · answered by melanie b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not married don't do anything! I know it sounds old fashioned, but it sounds like that's all he wants is something sexual. And I may be only 16, but if there's one thing in life that I've learned about love it's that when you do love someone, truly, you don't have to second guess yourself. You know for sure. If you want to tell him no, then just say it. That's the best way to get something through a guy's head nine times out of ten, just tell them straightforward. If any guy wants to pressure you into something you don't feel comfortable doing, then it doesn't seem like he cares that much either. It sounds like you should either draw the line or let him go, and lines are easily crossed.
2007-12-26 01:59:01 · answer #3 · answered by tailgate 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OK, first things first, if you do not feel comfortable, you have the right to tell him straight up no--you are the only one who will know enough to protect yourself, and if the relationship changes after you say know, would you want to be with a person who will only treat you well if he gets what he wants? NO WAY. And secondly, many people get mixed up with love and intimate/sexual contact. You can love someone which makes your intimate contact meaningful and special, but having sexual contact does not guarantee that there is love. Bottom line: you want to have love no matter what right? So draw the lines for him and see where his love for you goes... You want to share yourself with the person who will say no to you, especially when you say yes to him, b/c he is actually looking out for you and your future, he is not out to get whatever he wants...
2007-12-26 02:03:47 · answer #4 · answered by Aceman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't sound ready so you shouldn't do it. And you don't love him you are just infatuated with him. You should ask yourself what love is and come up with as many answers as you can. Come back to this question every six months or so for the rest of your life and you will see that your point of view will change as you grow and learn from life experiences.
2007-12-26 01:58:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to make sure that you are ready . If he cares about you he will respect your decision . Be sure about what it is you want . Don't do it just to make him happy or to keep him . So find out what it is you want and talk to him and let him know . If he gets mad and starts acting like a jerk , then you don't need him . If he can't respect you , then kick him to the curb and move on .
2007-12-26 01:56:22 · answer #6 · answered by coach.ricky 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to let him know that you don't feel ready for a physical thing just yet. Tell him that up front. All you can do is be honest with him.
2007-12-26 01:53:48 · answer #7 · answered by Patriot011 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
see if he really loves you..you can tell him u feel uncomfortable and he will not coax you further..he will respect your feelings..on the other hand if he still coaxes you..you know he doesnt love you for what you are..maybe he just wants to sleep with you..majority of the guys are rarely seriuos about any relationship till they are 25 +..girls generally mature faster and so tend to get emotionally involved..remember u should love yourself first before you can love anybody and if u or ur body is not ready for something..dont do it..period...
I have also been in similar situations and its really tough to say no...but trust me its better for your emotional and psychological well being in the long run..
2007-12-26 01:56:58 · answer #8 · answered by Shikha 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
loving him doesn't mean that you have to do the physical stuff. it also doesn't mean you're ready for it. if you aren't, then don't do it. you'll be better off waiting. trust me. all you have to tell him is that you have a lot of feelings for him (or that you love him) but you're not ready to take the next step. he should respect that. if he doesn't, then he's not for you.
2007-12-26 01:56:38 · answer #9 · answered by lost 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How to tell him no, that is easy. "No."
Should you tell him no, absolutely. For a couple of reasons.
1. You aren't comfortable, that much is obvious.
2. You "love" him, so he is a decent person, right? How would a decent person feel if they do something sexual to someone that doesn't want it? They are going to feel as though they've abused her, even though it would be her fault for not saying no.
So, do you want to do that to yourself?
Do you want to do it to him?
2007-12-26 01:57:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋