Can you give some wittiest quotes? Shakespeare, Wilde, Shaw....etc.?

Answer 1

quotationspage.com has 26,000 quotes all divided into categories.
As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
Dick Cavett

We live in a Newtonian world of Einsteinian physics ruled by Frankenstein logic.
David Russell

Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.
Arthur Schopenhauer

Sometimes what's right isn't as important as what's profitable.
Trey Parker and Matt Stone,

Answer 2

Mr Bernard Shaw has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by all of his friends. Oscar Wilde

A scout troop consists of 12 little kids dressed like schmucks, following a big schmuck dressed like a little kid.
Jack Benny

Many a man has fallen in love with a woman in light so dim he wouldn't have chosen a suit by it.
J.K. Chesterton

Answer 3

Did you know a witty quote is called a witticism? A message whose ingenuity or verbal skill or incongruity has the power to evoke laughter.

Here are some of my favorites:

~~ "I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it."
~~ "The more people I meet, the more I like my dog."
~~ "Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them."
~~ " A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory."
~~ "I used to have a handle on life, but it broke."
~~ "I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing."

Answer 4

Somebody said to Bernard Shaw,'Do you know that sugar is the only word in the English language in which 's' is pronounced as 'sh'?'

Shaw replied,'sure, sure'.

Answer 5

" Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast "

Oscar Wilde.

Answer 6

Like everyone and trust no one.
Shakespeare.