Do long distance relationships work?

Question

I go to college 4 hours from home and almost never come home except for holidays is this a big problem or should we be able to work through not seeing each other?

Answer 1

They can work if the two people that are involved in it really put the effort into making it work. I've been in one for 4 years now. He lives in Germany and i live in US. We see eachother about one month out of the year sometimes less. It takes a lof of communication, trust and honesty so if you both can do that then you are off to a good start. Webcams would be a good idea so that you can see eachother online that really is a big help. Since it is four hours you can plan to meet in neutral spots or just visit in the holidays. Letters and carepackages are fun too that way you can show eachother that you care. Some people can't handle it and don't feel bad if it doesnt' work out, but it won't hurt to try and see if you two can work it out. Some people say that cheating is a big issue but remember that cheating happens to couples who get to see eachother everyday so its not just distance. Good luck and email me if you have more questions. :)

Answer 2

That's kind of a baited question. I mean, do normal relationships work? most of the time the answer is no.

I was in a LDR for about about a year (2.25hr plane flight apart). It can work out, there are many examples of it working out, but both parties have to be committed to making it work. LDRs have more problems that normal relationships don't have. Think about them:

1) A relationship with a phone and monitor. You can't talk face to face, you can't read the body language, it's hard to know what the other means a lot of the times. You kinda have to become very scheduled. Like dedicating 7am-7:15am and 9pm-10pm for daily phone conversations. That also means arranging before hand for changes in that schedule.

2) Fights suck. I mean they always do, but even more so here. It's not like you can just get upset with someone and make up later that night or tomorrow. It's hard to know if the apology is sincere, it's hard to tell if they really mean it when they say that they're over it. It's way too easy for a fight to ruin a relationship, because if they decide they're going to punish you by not answering the phone, then the entire relationship is severed. It's not like you can force the other person to confront the situation by just showing up something.

3) Trust will be tested. You will each have your separate lives and friends. You will not know eachothers friends, and friends/family may not be that supportive of such an impractical arrangement. They will be going out to places where temptations can be high (Clubs, bars, parties...) and you are just going to have to trust that things are just fine, even directly after a fight.

4) Expense. It becomes expensive and time consuming to actually visit the other person (tanks of gas and tolls, plane fare, time off of work...) Wen you do see eachother, you always try to cram everything in which can get very expensive and also could lead to just too much time being together (since you don't just show up for a few hrs).

That said, there are some benefits too. It forces you to really communicate and develope your intimacy through friendship rather than physicality. It really tests your ability to maintain a relationship longterm... It's not a bad thing and if it's meant to be, it will work. But it will not work unless both partners are willing to always give it 100%.

Answer 3

If it's just going to be either a 'yes' or a 'no', I'd go with the 'no'.

It's against nature. You see, everything is made up of atoms (we know that since grade school, right?) and according to John Dalton's Atomic Theory, "the greater the distance, the lesser the attraction". The farther you are from your partner, the lesser your affections would be.

But, life (and humans, with our special gifts of superior intelligence -- relative to other animals, that is -- and free will) cannot really be constarined with a mere 'yes' or 'no'. Why not just give it a try? But, just don't expect too much and don't be too hard on yourselves when, at the end, it does not work out. Just remember, we are made of atoms still.

Answer 4

They are not worth the trouble. You can make any relationship "work" if by "work" you mean "not end." However, I don't know about you, but I like to be with the person that I'm dating. I'd vote for a split on good terms and then date in your area. Don't limit yourself while you're in college. I regret having done so. Dating can be fun. Enjoy it while you can. There will be plenty of time to settle down and that time should come when you actually get to see the person you're dating.

Answer 5

I lived apart from my husband for the better part of 1.5 years. Yes -- it can work, but it doesn't work for everyone. There has to be 110% trust between you, or else the distance plays tricks with your mind. There were plenty of people trying to convince me that my husband would be having an affair while I was gone. He didn't, and never would -- but if I would have had even 1% of distrust, I would have started listening to those people and acting in an untrusting manner.

College is different, however. Lots of new people, new experiences, parties, drinking, etc. Only the two of you can make this decision. Only the two of you can make your relationship work.

Answer 6

i'm technically in a LDR with my bf an hour away and only seeing him on some weekends and that's hard enough. what i've learned is you need to establish how you're going to handle things. you need to both state how much time you each need to spend talking to each other, how you're going to spend you time together when you see each other, when each of you comes to see each other, etc. also a big thing that i realize i need from my bf is just tibits of what goes on in his life. i want to feel like im a part of it even tho im over here. communication is HUGE. and it's easier said then done. sometimes we find that we can't even talk for the 20 min. a day that we said we would do. sometimes plans fall through and i don't see him at all for awhile... it just depends how you both can stand the distance cuz it's hard. i think it's worth it as long as the person you're with is worth it too because it's a lot of dedication, patience and work.

Answer 7

I think they work for some people especially if they are mature and committed to their relationship and have quite a bit of history that connects them. When this is not the case it is harder to maintain, especially when faced with so many opportunities to have fun and meet new friends in a college situation. Unfortunately what sometimes happens is that the one at college meets someone interesting and it just evolves into a relationship, they don't really have to worry that the one they left behind will find out.

Answer 8

long distance relationships are hard but they can work.What helps is setting a date of when you will finally be together.Then at least you have a goal that this hard time away from each other will not be forever.I was in a long distance relationship for a couple of years.She was from the US and me from Canada.We are now happily married and are living a great life together because we stuck with it.Remember that there will be an end to college for you eventually.

Answer 9

Well long distance relationships can work if you are committed to the relationship. You have to trust your couple an talk to him/her when ever you have time and share your daily emotions even dough he/she is not physically present. I have friends who are involved in long distance relationships and they seem to be a normal couple. It all should come down to what you feel, and remember that trust in very important.

Answer 10

They can work. My wife and I had a long-distance relationship (about 1300 miles is long-distance, don't you think?) for about a year and a half before I moved to be with her. I flew to see her every six weeks or so, so it wasn't as bad as yours, but it worked out. Still married after five-plus years, with a little girl, so yeah, they can work.