I visited my relatives, and they're fun and everything, but I get so self-conscience. My cousins seem so cool and perfect, and they have these inside jokes and they're so exclusive, and only the funniest, most attractive, most-outgoing people can hang out in their inner-circle of people. My dad says I won't fit in with them because I'm from their mom's side of the family, instead of their dad's, and, to make matters worse, they're over 4 years older than me. They'd probably accept me a little more if I was more outgoing, but these are people I've known my whole life. I can't go from kinda shy to really outgoing, they'd think I was crazy. I'm not emo or anything, so I'm not anti-social, but I lose all of my self-esteem as soon as I see them. I guess I just need some help figuring out what to do to be appreciated. Thanks so much for your help!
2007-12-25 16:11:16 · 5 answers · asked by Stef 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hi Stef,
I always believe in just "being yourself". Of course it won't hurt if you make little changes here and there & make an effort to be "more outgoing". But if you really don't feel like it and is not comfortable, then don't force the issue. Don't let "fitting in with them" be the real big issue. The real deal is for you to find happiness with people you will be most comfortable with. How many people are living miserable lives because in their effort to "fit in" they move away from their true being? Yes, they did fit in, but at the price of a hollow and empty feeling. I always believe there is someone for everyone and even if you remain being yourself, you will ultimately find a group of people you'll be happy and comfortable with.
2007-12-25 16:25:55 · answer #1 · answered by BERNARD C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that everyone has people that they are intimidated by (or jealous of). Whenever you see them, remember that they are older than you! I have a sister who is 3 years older than me, and she is always hanging out with her friends, and just being cool and chill all of the time, but I learned to stop comparing myself to her, and realized that I am perfectly content being a little less outgoing as she. If you want to be appreciated, just be you. True, it is very cliche, but being yourself is what people really admire. Would you rather hang out with the girl who is a total tool and follower even though she follows the popular people, or a girl who knows what is best for her, and doesn't need to compare herself to anyone else?
2007-12-25 16:19:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your father is cruel and wrong by telling you that you will "never fit in"... the truth probably is -- these kids are 4 years older than you and while that doesn't seem like much, it is when we are young.
so you probably don't have that much in common with these cousins... and believe me... they aren't perfect, exclusive or better than anyone else.... ESPECIALLY not better than you!
I'd say you feel as if you don't fit in simply because of the age difference. I'm sure if you asked if you could join them, they would be receptive.
take care and happy new year
2007-12-25 16:17:19 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be yourself, but if that is not possible, just try going a little out of your way to beome more outgiong, thats what i do when I go visit my brats of cousins good luck!
2007-12-25 16:16:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget about them find something you like you need to work on your self esteem they make you feel like a little child so your not out going don't worry about that just do stuff that make you happy
2007-12-25 16:19:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anna M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋