The guy started (gently) strangling me during sex?

Question

I've been seeing this guy for a while now.

The other night he started gently strangling me around the neck with his hands when we were having sex (I was on top).. it was really kinda weird because he didn't ask but he did it really gently (and I trust him and know he would stop if I said to stop).

I think he might have a thing for it because although this is the first time, previous times he's kind of... I don't know but there's been a lot of pressure around my airways before when I'm on the bottom and sometimes the pillow ends up a little across my neck, kinda hard to explain.

I mean I can always breathe still so if he's into it I don't mind letting him... I read a little about the fetish erotic auto-asphyxiation (or whatever it is) in google but just wanted to know, is this a common thing? Why do they like to do this? What makes it such a turn-on?

Thanks for the answers everyone. Also, he's never hurt me in any way (in and out of the bedroom).. he slaps my ass a lot, when we're out or during sex too.. I think he might be a little bit dominant, which I don't mind submitting a littl.. I just don't want things to get creepy :S

Answer 1

since every other answer is either useless or ignorant ill help you out.
I personally am not fond of the idea but different strokes for different folks.

First of all if you can breath it's not dangerous, it's not dangerous even in decreased breathing if you trust him, the only time it gets a little too wild is when people start adding ropes and **** especially when mixed with handcuffs.

Onto the fetish.

auto-asphyxiation is a type of S&M or sadomasochism. it involves anthing ranging from simply grabbing of the neck, slight pressure, strangling, and hanging for short periods of time to enhance the sexual experience. It was first founded/considered when people discovered the fact that many men who were hung back in the day had an erection and had ejackulated before dying (ironic). It supposeably enhances the sexual experience of intercourse drastically.

Just for some facts:

"The danger is that pressure on the carotid arteries in the neck will interrupt the blood supply to the brain and cause unconsciousness. Once this happens, the victim slumps, and the pressure from the rope causes death by strangulation. In the United States, around 700 people die each year from this type of sex game."

the effect is said to be similar to high or an extreme headrush (no pun intended).



the bottom line is, if you trust him and feel comfortable with it, you should talk to him about it, ask him if hese aware that he does it and is it a fetish of his? And finally be comfortable to try new things and experiment I personally just wouldnt recommend the use of a neuse for safty purposes.

Answer 2

Strangle Sex

Answer 3

I'm honestly not exactly sure why guys find it hot to choke you while having sex with you, however I have a few ideas and I can tell you that I think it's pretty common.
My current guy does it all the time. I've never thought of myself as a freaky fetish type person, but I like being choked during sex. I think it's just a dominant thing, or a trust thing. I trust my man to know when to stop and not to hurt me. He's the first guy I've dated who has been man enough to be dominant to me and I'm not just talking about in the bedroom. I haven't dated all that much in the 5 years since my son's father and I split, but since then I've always worn the pants in my relationships. This guy is different. He's a manly type man and I love it!
I suggest talking to your guy about it. If you 2 are close enough to be sleeping together then you should just ask him why it turns him on. Maybe he's been holding back some other fantasies. Talking about it could take your relationship and your sex life to a whole new level.
Good luck!!

Answer 4

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
The guy started (gently) strangling me during sex?
I've been seeing this guy for a while now.

The other night he started gently strangling me around the neck with his hands when we were having sex (I was on top).. it was really kinda weird because he didn't ask but he did it really gently (and I trust him and know he would stop if I said...

Answer 5

Asphyxiation During Sex

Answer 6

This can be dangerous but only when it is done but a nuse/ rope. I find getting slightly choked during sex, a turn on but that's me personally. Some people might find it strange, which is understandable. But some other answers on here are ridiculeous! 'Check out abusive relationships reports. Just be careful. ' if you don't like erotix fixation or whatever, tell your partner, you don't want to do it. There's no abuse there. I think it is perfectly normal to have fantasies about sex and it is about communication in a relationship, discussing what both people are comfortable with. Most women who tend to enjoy it, like the feeling of the man being dominant and showing his alpha male strength during sex. Men like to do it, to show control.

Answer 7

There's no real harm in it if he does't strangle you real hard. Plus, the orgasm is heightened when it's done at climax (so I've heard). If you don't like it, feel free to complain. Some girls do like it though.

"is this a common thing?"

It's rare because people don't really know about it.

"Why do they like to do this?"

People do it because it gives them some power over the other person. Some people like having power/control during sex. Some people like it when others do it to them because of the orgasm involved.

"What makes it such a turn-on?"

It's what I said above.

REPLY TO FIRST ANSWERER: auto-asphyxiation is only harmful when people lose control and trust me, you know if he's going to lose control before you even have sex with him. The only times I've heard of people dying from it is when they use belts, straps, or any other bounding device.

Answer 8

Hun, here is the deal, the final choice is up to you.

Communicate with your partner.
Research the safety procedures and practices.
Have it in writing even in your journal or computer that he is doing this thing in case he thinks he can just lose control and kill you. I am not saying he will but sometimes passions get too crazy, you have to protect yourself and let him know that others KNOW about the way he plays.
Good Luck and do what feels comfortable for you, you only live once but I had a friend whos boyfriend was into cutting and he went from just small cuts to larger, and sometimes things can spiral out of control...you gotta know where to set your boundaries. Take Care-Rachel.

Answer 9

I believe in the research you did, it is suppose to be more erotic for you, not him if your are strangled a little. Well, you know what I mean. Sounds like he is just trying to turn you on a little. I use to pull my girlfriends hair during her orgasm often, and she would squeal with a shriek of pleasure. In fact I am getting aroused right now thinking about it. When she was on top, I would grip her hair tight, and jerk her head around a little bit in domination. Not to hurt her.....Where is her number?

Answer 10

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It's called erotic asphyxiation. It cuts off oxygen and causes carbon dioxide to accumulate, which makes you feel lightheaded and euphoric and heightens orgasm. He could have been doing it for your pleasure, or maybe he just wanted to get rough with you. It can be very dangerous though. Just ask David Carradine and Michael Hutchence...