I feel it is always a parent's right to know what is going on with their 14yos and that sexual experimentation - whether it be heterosexual or not - is off base at that age. Yet, 'Margo' doesn't even direct this writer to ask her niece about it.
DEAR MARGO: I was checking out my 12-year-old daughter's MySpace (she knows I do this as a condition of her having it) and found my 14-year-old niece's MySpace (that my brother and sister-in-law do not know she has), where she alluded to having a "relationship" with a lesbian friend. The last time we spoke, my sister-in-law said she was wary of this girl, so I don't know whether I should tell her what I found. They live several states away, and we only see each other a few times a year. Their daughter is a good kid, and I don't want to cause problems, especially if my niece learns how her parents found out.
If it were my daughter, I'd want to know so I could at least talk to her about it. This kid is barely 14 years old.
--- WAVERING AUNTIE
DEAR WAVE: I suggest you say nothing. Assuming the "relationship" is sexual (and it may not be), the youngster is experimenting and should be allowed to do so without parental input -- which would not change the outcome, by the way.
It's not as though your niece is robbing banks and popping Quaaludes, dangerous behavior requiring intervention. She is figuring out her sexuality, and parents trying to steer a child away from a natural inclination are not going to be successful.
When next you talk to your s-i-l, you might ask what she dislikes about this friend, since she told you she is wary of her. If there are complaints about the girl that are valid, they should be the reason to put the kibosh on the friendship, not that she is a lesbian.
--- MARGO, JUDICIOUSLY
2007-12-25 15:00:49 · 8 answers · asked by wider scope 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Margo doesn't think sexual experimentation at 14 is dangerous.
What say you?
2007-12-25 15:02:14 · update #1
http://news.yahoo.com/s/dear_margo/20071222/en_dm/margo_howard20071222;_ylt=An_hLc6NYKYY0oO_P_io46wDW7oF
2007-12-25 15:05:46 · update #2
Sparx, no, 14yos are not capable of raising themselves. That's why they are still under the control of their parents until 18.
It is the lazy parent who would look away, here.
2007-12-25 15:19:04 · update #3
thats what happend whan you take God out of public life. people dont see that they have to have good moral attitude cos there is nothing to regulate them anymore.
did you see Tila Tequila on VH1. she had a dating shoh just like i love New york. but the difference is that she is Bi. so on tv(uncensored), you actually see her making out with A GIRL.
back in Hoover's days, there was no problem like this. but we let people like the ACLU get their way in the name of diversity.
look at us now.
2007-12-25 17:29:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
i think the mother deserves to know, whether the girl is straight or lesbian is always going to be her choice, but like it says she's barley fourteen and her parents have a right of knowing what is going on their daughters life.
2007-12-25 23:11:28 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy P 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I say people need to mind their own business.
Who is too say how old is appropriate?
Its when ever the child feels its right.
Don't you remember when you started feeling a certain way towards guys/girls (I didn't care to look if you were male or female)?
How would you have felt if someone told you it was wrong and trying things was wrong then you would have felt "bad" and when you make kids feel that way about growing up it creates difficulties in that area for the child for the rest of their lives.
I suggest you go to barnes and noble and find a good book. Or go to www.abc.com and watch the episodes of "Dirty Sexy Money" its a great new show, instead of involving yourself in other peoples business.
Kinda bored aren't ya?
2007-12-25 23:12:04 · answer #3 · answered by RebelPrincess 6 · 2⤊ 4⤋
I think parents need to teach their kids it's better to wait until they are more mature, having sex is an adult act and if you are not ready for everything that comes with having sex then you need to wait. I pray to God that I have gotten the point across to my kids that it's better to wait until marriage. I also think parents need to let their kids know that they can talk to them about anything.
2007-12-25 23:07:42 · answer #4 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I disagree with Margo, I think the parents should be told. It is their responsibility to raise their child and they should know about her.
2007-12-25 23:05:12 · answer #5 · answered by LindsayLou 4 · 6⤊ 1⤋
well, at 14 hormones are raging... and i think kids do think about sex, and neck, and sometimes have sex (no, i'm not saying they are emotionally prepared for it, but they do it anyway at times).
Maybe the girl who claims to be in love with a lesbian is really in love with her, or maybe she's just sensationalizing her life to look more interesting to other kids?
It's hard to tell...
2007-12-25 23:08:29 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would jump in and let my kid know what I thought she needed to know in this situation....that is my job.
2007-12-26 01:00:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the mother should leave her daughter alone. She should not own her daughter like that. Her daughter is a person.
2007-12-25 23:19:44 · answer #8 · answered by Lisa Marie 4 · 0⤊ 5⤋