My boyfriend and I had plans to go do something. While I was getting ready, his friend called him and wanted him to come over to have him install a car radio and to just hangout. He blew me off so he could do that. How mad should I be at him? I don't want to over react.
2007-12-25 14:39:29 · 30 answers · asked by bluemonarch17 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
don't get mad, get even
2007-12-25 14:42:11 · answer #1 · answered by litalover420 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Don't be mad. Take it as an understanding of how he would like to be treated. It is time for you to make yourself less available to him. It is obviously okay with him to break plans, so what's good for the gander should be good for the goose.
He is your boyfriend. You should be in the observation stage. You have just observed something important. His message to you is "You are fun, and important, unless something more fun and important comes along".
We'll assume you are looking to someday marry and start a family. This is the value he has shown you. Now you have a decision to make Is this how you want to be treated and how you want your children to be treated? Can you live like this - forever?
I don't know about you, but I wouldn't. So, if everything else is great, and he's otherwise a keeper, you might let him know of your observation and that you will take note of that for your future. You might even let him know it wasn't a good way to treat a person, and you expect to be treated better in the future.
But if this is one in a long string of such events where you are playing second fiddle, find a new band.
2007-12-25 23:00:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the plans you and your man had and how often he gets to hang out with his guy friends. If your plans were just to hang out, then I wouldn't be too mad that he wanted to spend one night helping a friend install a car radio instead. Take the time to hang out with one of your friends. However, if you made actual plans like dinner and a movie for example, then I would be upset. Explain to your man how disappointed you were but there is no reason to get mad and cause a seen. How often does he hang out with you compared to his friends? If he's with you a lot more than his friends, don't get mad...let him have one night to help one of the guys. If he's constantly ditching you for the guys, however, you should have a talk with him about your feelings...and maybe even his feelings for you.
2007-12-25 22:48:43 · answer #3 · answered by Debi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don`t that pretty much tell you where his priorities are? If we knew all the circumstances like you do we would know who to blame and how mad you should be. If it happened exactly like you said then I believe I would be moving on or at least waiting a long time before planing anything else with him. It might be time to start calling him an acquaintance rather than a boyfriend.
2007-12-25 23:03:38 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. Un-couth 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on a lot of things. What was planned? How long had it been planned? Typically I'd say thats pretty immature, but have you been occupying a lot of his time lately? Been possessive? I've always said, men are easy. I truly mean this. Give us regular sex and some, not a lot, but some free time with our friends, and we will give you everything you want: romance, love, attention, respect, cooperation, etc. We are truly not complicated creatures. He sounds young. I would let it slide, but if it continues, you really need to considering finding someone else.
2007-12-25 22:43:48 · answer #5 · answered by DeFreeze 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should be all that mad, but it depends on how long u guys are going out. If its a first or second date, you should be mad because maybe he doesnt like you at all. If its been a while, dont over react becuase it means he's comfortable with you and knows that you can respect each other
As we always say: chicks b4 *****, but guys always say:bros b4 hoes ;-)
hope i helped <3
2007-12-25 22:44:45 · answer #6 · answered by :-)_4_me!!!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok yeah I would be very upset about that. Only thing you can do is to talk to him about it. Tell him how you felt about that. he must not have had very much consideration about you if you totally blew you off. And make sure he don't do that again. If you guys are in a serious relationship that would be a really good discussion to talk about because that is just wrong.
2007-12-25 22:43:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suppose it depends on how firm your plans were. However, I'd be kinda mad if my boyfriend did that.
I also suppose it would depend on whether he cancelled your plans gracefully or not. If he apologized in advance it would be different if he just said he had to bail to hang out with his pal.
Still, it does sound like he is inconsiderate. You might want to re-think about this guy for the long term.
2007-12-25 22:47:43 · answer #8 · answered by tourbillionlechat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to be honest with him and tell him how it made you feel without being emotional. See how he reacts and go from there. He might not ever realized that he blew you off, if he doesn't care then it is time to move on.
2007-12-25 22:42:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anna H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think before you go off on him, you should talk to him about it. Maybe he doesn't realize what he did. He might not have know the signifigance of the outing or he didn't realize how much you cared. But if he just blows you off while you're talking to him, then there isn't any reason why you shouldn't be mad.
2007-12-25 22:45:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, how important are your wants and needs? Do you think that you can live with this kind of behavior long term? These are the things that you might consider and then I believe that you will come to your own conclusions. Don't react at all to him until you have made your own rational decision.
2007-12-25 22:44:29 · answer #11 · answered by Dr Joe Raw 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋