I currently babysit for two twin girls who are eleven years old in the sixth grade. One day one of the girls walked up to me and confided in me. She told me that while her sister slept one night she touched her private parts out of curiosity. She said that her sister was wearing her pajama bottoms the whole time. She told me she felt very bad and with tears in her eyes asked me if she was a child molester. I told her of course she isn't but i had a hard time trying to console her. What is this? Should she feel bad? If a child that still plays with dolls and who is barely out of elementary school touches another child's private area out of curiosity is that child a child molester?
2007-12-25 14:30:13 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
They will be turning 12 in a couple of months...
2007-12-25 15:52:56 · update #1
I would seek the help of a professional on this. Maybe talk to a school therapist or counselor.
2007-12-25 14:37:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I'm amazed by how many people here immediately assume that a girl is raped or molested simply because she is curious.
The "private" area is the one area that all adults protect. We get mad when our young children throw their clothes off and run around naked, and only add to their curiousity. We don't talk about it in from of our kids, and we tell them they can't watch a movie because it shows nakedness... How many kids played doctor as a child? I did... When I was right about this same age. The young boys and girls both wanted to know what was going on, and even came up with a twist... "Hey! Lets turn the lights off..."... MMMM HMMM...
When people want to learn about something they find a way to do it. She is obviously not a child molester... She simply needs to be taught, by the parents, the basics of the birds and the bees. Now, after saying that I know that there will be countless people screaming, "OHHHHH... Teach the facts to an 11 year old!!! NOOOOOOOOO!" You folks can't live in denial and shelter your kids from everything forever. I knew of 12 year olds having sex when I was 12 and we were certainly discussing where to put what before that. While all you see when they are in front of you is that kid who needs help with division, they are talking with their friends about drugs, alcohol, sex, and anything else that they know you don't want them to learn. You can either be the parent whose child confides in them or you can be the parent who lives in a make believe world of candy canes and lollipops and your child will keep secrets from you. Perhaps you'll be one of the lucky ones who finds out that their 13 or 14 year old became pregnant. Wow, what if you would have taken the time to teach them? Would they have learned the consequences? If not would they have made sure that a condom was used, or would they have simply told you, "Mom and dad... I think I should get birth control". Sure you can fight it but it doesn't stop them from doing it.
It happens every day.
2007-12-25 19:00:56 · answer #2 · answered by Jake B 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The parents need to know there is not point in guessing what could have caused this as you are a baby sitter and not the parent.The parents need to be informed.Nearly turning 12 is well out of the age of curiosity especially since the child asked if she was a child molester...she has that much info...so there is little doubt in my mind that this needs to be told to the parents and kept an eye on.
2007-12-25 17:01:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It could have been out of pure curiosity, but it also could have been her re-enacting something that was done to her. I would have a chat with the paretns and let them know that something is going on and needs to be looked into further. You were right to seek out some advice...now you need to get some help for these girls. And if it comes down to nothing, at least you'll know that you did all you could do to make sure those girls were safe. Good luck to all of you.
2007-12-25 14:50:28 · answer #4 · answered by still waiting 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
well its commen in children around the ages 8-10 if by any chance they have been exposed to sex from maybe the parents or a porn they saw. Its not by any means child molestation. But the problem needs to be disscussed with the mother then the child. If the mother fails to explain then i guess leave it alone it could cost you your job.
2007-12-25 14:41:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
i think it was pure curiosity...
it's not abnormal for kids to be curious about these things, and even to look at each other on purpose sometimes.....
i think she knows that she should not have invaded her sister's space like that. and of course she's not a molester... she's a child herself.
take care, and let the child know if she ever needs to talk, you will listen...
2007-12-25 15:27:29 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She may just be curious. I think you should make sure someone is doing something like that to her. Children don't normally ask questions like that, even if they are curious. Let her know that if she is curious, she should ask her parents. Touching other people's private parts, even her sister's, is not right. Be sure she knows that being curious about things like that is not bad and that she is not bad for wondering. Good luck.
2007-12-25 17:13:37 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Fancy♥ 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hmm, no but she is feeling guilty about it and she needed to get it off her shoulders. She thought telling you, she was safe from embarrassment she would get from her family. I don't see her as a threat to other kids- it's a one time thing. Just let her know that she could get into big trouble doing stuff like that, it's normal to feel guilty, she'll have to forgive herself for doing that for the most part. That's going to be hard too.
2007-12-26 01:39:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Curiosity is completely normal but it is something I would talk to the mother about. Let her know about the incident and stress the fact that you were told in confidence. Hopefully the mother will find a way to talk to her daughter about things without referring directly to the incident. You are going to feel about betraying the confidence of the girl but it is more important that her mother know about it.
2007-12-25 14:39:19 · answer #9 · answered by TinyMe 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋
No she's not a child molester but she should be instructed about keeping her hands to herself and to never touch another person w/o their permission. I think you or she should talk this over w/ her parents. Children will be curious but they should know to respect others privacy
2007-12-25 14:37:42 · answer #10 · answered by miranda - 4 · 5⤊ 1⤋