Help with Dad?

Question

Well my parents got divorced when I was 4 and ever since last summer I switched homes every 2 weeks. My dad is a jerk. He is always making me sad (telling me what I do or look like is bad, comparing me and trying to make me change) and make me feel useless (there's no room for my opinion or for what i want to do). When I'm with him every other weekend now he is still being a jerk to me and I can't stand it. Is it just me, or should I be able to live how I want, I am 16 years old, and I don't want to see him! He makes me so sad and mad and hopeless! I want to be with my mom! He is so stubborn, he thinks everything is okay! Can I refuse and not go with him tomorrow? Could I get in trouble? I told him i wanted to go shopping and he said no because "that's what girls do" and I feel horrible why does he even want me I feel hated absolutely HATED
I try to be strong I try to have a good attitude but it ends up hurting me in the end!!!!!!
I don't think you understand I legally have to go

Answer 1

Discuss it with your mother, and let her know he puts you down all of the time, you feel sad when around him and useless...

Hon, he is verbally abusive, and you do not deserve it. Im sure you are old enough to decide who you want to visit, and who you need to avoid.

If all else fails, talk with your school counselor, and tell them what is going on. sometimes they have ways of helping us.

take care.

Answer 2

wow I'm so sorry to hear that... my parents got divorced when I was six, I am living with my mother but up until a year ago (I am 18 now), I had to see my father twice a week, and I hated those days, those were really terrible times, specially because he always got drunk or drugged while I stayed at his home alone, so I told my mom about that and she said that she wouldn't let my father get any closer to me (legally), but he then started going to my school, wait for me outside of class to talk to me and I hated that, until one day, I found the courage to tell him that i wanted him to stop coming by because I never wanted to see him again, and that's the last time I saw him... so I would say to you that you need to talk to your mom to solve things legally, but it is up to you to tell your father what you are telling us, you need to gather all the courage you have, and the one you don't have too so you can stand up to him, I know it will be very intimidating, but think that it's for your own good.... I wish you the best of luck, I can tell you it was one of the best things I've done. Don't let him hurt you.

Merry Christmas and good luck!!

Answer 3

Congrats Ben!! How a approaches alongside is she? (: i develop into going to assert Father and Son, dammit. BQ: Breathe in the Air - purple Floyd BQ2: i'm gonna see if i will end this portray for him by employing Sunday. My relatives isn't that huge on Father's Day, however. Edit: Haha, this is exciting. you will make a super dad, i'm specific :D

Answer 4

I think you may be misunderstanding something about the shared custody order between your parents.

It is binding on them - but it is not binding on YOU. You are a minor and are unable to be bound by a civil court order. If you do not want to see your father, that is your right, and both your mother and your father should respect that decision.

You DO have rights. That's why the courts appoint "guardian ad litems" - to represent the best interests of the child in cases like yours.

It's a difficult situation for you. I understand. But it seems to be against your emotional well-being to be with your father.

If your mother will not stand up and assert your feelings for you, I would suggest you call your dad and tell him that you are going to take a break from being with him. Explain why - maybe it will open up a dialogue that can lead to a resolution, who knows?

Neither parent wants to see you unhappy.

But your dad sounds to me, frankly, like a controlling jerk. and you do not have to subject yourself to that treatment.

Stay calm, remain unemotional. Sit down and write down all of the things he does to you that you do not like.

Discuss this with both parents.

But remember, you DO have rights.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Talk to your Mom, tell her how you're feeling. I think that you are old enough to make your own decision about this. Your Mom can find out whether or not to get a lawyer involved or social services. Your father is creating a very negative environment for you and it's damaging for you at this age. The teens are hard enough without this problem

Answer 6

Hay sorry to hear that but if he is doing that u should talk to Ur mom and see if she can change the schedule and then if not just stay home w/ Ur mom what can Ur dad do best of luck : )

Answer 7

Wow, I know your situation... my cousin was the same way, anyways what you need to do is talk to your mom about it... the best thing for her to do is to take it to court so that she can get complete visitation rights of you so you won't have to deal with your dad ever again, but if not that see if she'll at least talk to him about his actions towards you... Best of luck and happy holidays

Answer 8

Take it to the Judge. You are of an age where you can decide whether or not you want to see your dad. You should see if you can find an advocate for minor children to help represent you.

Good luck.

Answer 9

You are 16 so you don't have to go with him of you don't want to. No-one should make you feel like this. Talk to your mum and explain. Good luck

Answer 10

I won't say I'm sorry, because sorrow is not what is going to keep you from your dad tomorrow. You need to stand your own ground. Your dad is obviously old-fashioned. You need to take your dad for a taste of reality, even if it does get you a few nips in the bud. DON'T LET YOUR DAD DEGRADE YOU FOR YOUR OWN AWESOME PERSONALITY. IT'S HIS OWN FAULT HE'S SO SUPERFICIAL AND LOW. YOU PROVE YOURSELF.