How can I make my fiance feel good about the way he looks?

Question

I tell him all the time how good he looks, complimenting him on his hair, outfit, whatever, but he doesn't feel attractive, even though he is. And it's not just me that thinks it, lots of my female friends tell me how lucky I am to have a hot guy. But he just rejects my compliments, and thinks he is hideous. Usually this is a girl problem, but I really want him to feel good about the way he looks, and let him know I find him attractive...how can I do that?

Thanks for your concern TK, I know he is the right guy...there is no mental illness, he has just always been shy and had a bad childhood. I love him so much, I'll put up with anything. I just wanted some tips to make him feel more attractive because what I'm trying apparently isn't working.

Answer 1

Your doing all you can..
He has low self-esteem, and it cant be built up until HE is ready, and allows himself to accept himself.
His bad self-confidence is most likely due to past troubles...Depending on the severity, theropy might my a good idea.

Good luck!
(& Merry Christmas btw!)

Answer 2

It's unkind for him to reject all of your compliments since you are engaged to one another. But it is disturbing to learn that he feels he looks hideous. According to you, he is a handsome man. So is your fiance stubbornly refusing to practice normal social etiquette, or is it less benign and could he really not know what qualifies a person as hideous?

You should want to know whether you are going to be marrying someone with a mild to moderate mental illness, or someone who is constantly cadging unearned sympathy from you because he enjoys playing this mind game on you? If you want to put up with this for the next twenty years, then be my guest. If not, then you need to confront the issue and get it resolved one way or the other.

You should be less concerned about whether you have a hot guy, and more concerned about whether you have the right guy for you.