Okay, here's the deal. My husband is 63 and I am 43. I have 3 children ages 21, 19, and 14. His children are 36 and 33 and are Jewish. I mean they claim to be very Jewish. My family is very christian. My husband is Christian also. His ex wife and her husband are Jewish. When we visit with them ( his son just got married to a Catholic) but insisted on a very jJewish ceremony. When they visiited us last spring, they stayed with us and were offended by the cross ihad hanging in our home and my cross jewerly that I wore. They would not attend chruch with us because they said that would be hypocritical. I did not expect them to go and was not offended. I completely understood.. So last Christmas I sent them both Hannaacha cards and good wishes. But they werer livid that we did not send them a Christmas giift. My husb and said that I was selfish and just wanted to spend more money on my own family.I don't know, call me crazy, but I thought that Jews did not believe in j Christ
2007-12-25 13:40:38 · 10 answers · asked by gatetrek4 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
When I (a Jew) was married to a Christian man with children from a previous marriage who were Jewish, we gave them eight small gifts for Hanukkah and one bigger gift for Christmas. That way, everybody was happy! But they were children.
Your stepchildren are, or ought to be, adults. I suggest that if you haven't already done so, you should sit down with them and their father and sort out the ground-rules--in what ways they can expect you to accommodate to their beliefs (like, not serving pork chops while they're visiting) and in what ways they can't (like, controlling what jewelry you wear). Part of that conversation should be about the mid-winter holiday season, and who will honor whose holidays in which ways.
Blending a family is never easy! Good luck and G-d bless you!
2007-12-25 20:51:52 · answer #1 · answered by SheyneinNH 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes they can receive gifts no problemo. Also next year it may be better for many family and freinds since Hanukkah runs over Christmas.
Hanukkah gift tradition runs different per household. I like to give a gift each day and the bulk on the last day. I remember other Jewish families doing this in CT.
2007-12-26 18:28:11 · answer #2 · answered by יונתן 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say let's celebrate both faiths and do just that. And I would have a sit down with them and your husband. So that means you send them Hannukah gifts and they send you Hannukah gifts, same with Christmas gifts. Enjoy the beauty of them both and treat it that way when you talk to them. Make a clean slate. Good luck. There is much beauty to the Jewish faith and it's the father of the Catholic Church. Much beauty and deep roots, deep beautiful history and traditions to be enjoyed and shared by all.
2007-12-25 16:10:07 · answer #3 · answered by oh_my_its_linda 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are totally out of line.
They have no right to be offended at a cross on your wall or around your neck. (I'm assuming it's just part of your normal decor, not bought and hung it over the guest bed in their honor.)
It is rude to demand gifts in any context.
If you continue to buy them gifts (as you probably will, in the interest of family peace) then I suggest you avoid all mention of Hanukkah and Christmas, and send them in non-specific-to-any-holiday wrap, with the message "Thinking of you, Love Dad and Step-Mom" or "Wishing you all the best of the Season" or just "Love, Dad and Step-Mom."
They may spend their spare time playing a chess game with religion, but you don't have to accept their invitation to join the game.
2007-12-26 08:03:02 · answer #4 · answered by Juggling Frogs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The wonderful thing about our differences is that we get to experience each others customs. Not going to church is a totally different ball game and they were right in not going. But as they are your step children, I would get them gifts. Not so much because of Christmas, but to let them know you think of them during this special time of year.
2007-12-25 13:46:31 · answer #5 · answered by trixxi_fan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They sound like they want everything.
So you choose what it will be: how many gifts and on what occasion. People with manners appreciate the card.
Give them the card for Hanukkah and Christmas. This way you will acknowledge the Holiday and will not spend lots of money.
I will never understand why people want to have every possible ounce of attention from every person around.
2007-12-25 14:08:37 · answer #6 · answered by cloud7 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's very hypocritical of them to get upset at your crosses but also that they didn't get a gift on a holiday they don't recognize (of course, many see xmas as a secular "santa claus" holiday nowadays, and not a religious one).
Why not send them a chanukkah gift (aren't gifts exchanged by Jews during that time?)
2007-12-25 13:51:45 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
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2016-11-25 00:23:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read on here the other day, that while it is true that Jews don't celebrate Christmas, that they do like to celebrate as most people do and that they do exchange gifts and join in celebrations.
2007-12-25 13:49:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ask your husband
2007-12-25 13:50:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋