My feelings are hurt!?

Question

I am a mother of 4 from age 22 to 10. I made sure Christmas was amazing for them--looking till I found the perfect gifts, etc--
Plus getting special gifts for my husband. I had NOTHING to open this morning! I had my heart set on a least 0ne special gift under the tree--but nothing. He didn't even take the ten year old to get me a card! My oldest 2 are on their own and struggling and i know they could't afford anything--but I have a 18 year old step=daughter that makes about $400 a week ( and lives at home) we are not struggling money wise--Hubby could have afforded something! Am I wrong to let this get to me??Just feel so UNSPECIAL!! Thanks for letting me get this off my chest--

Thanks for the support! Makes me wanna cry!!!

Sorry i don;t have enough points to rate yet, but "nightscribe "--thanks for your answer---all of you-didn't know so many people were so compassionate!

Answer 1

Geez. I don't blame you, mom.

What is WRONG with your husband?! Your oldest children are old enough that even if they were struggling financially, a simple card, flowers, or the like would have been possible.

It sounds, mom, like you have some ungrateful children and a thoughtless husband...at least THIS Christmas, anyway.

I don't even know you and I am sitting here just STEAMING mad on your behalf.

I also feel I need to say this: We teach people how to treat us. This is almost certainly not the only instance of thoughtlessness and ungratefulness they have been guilty of and my feeling is, you have sucked it up and in the spirit of family harmony, have never mentioned it before.

This isn't right. SAY something, mom. Don't create a big drama about it; that will only distract from the message. Just say something quietly along the lines of how this made YOU feel and try to avoid attacking them and thereby, making them defensive.

You deserved better, mom. I'm a poor substitute for your family, but as someone who never had the love of my mom, who abandoned us at young ages, thank you for being one of those moms who give of themselves to their families and for trying so hard to give your family a beautiful Christmas. There is a special place in heaven for loving moms.

God bless.

Answer 2

Aw, I feel bad for you. If it is of any comfort to you, I have never received a gift from my kids or husband until this year. My kids, 16 and 17 bought me my first gift. A Tassimo coffee maker so they can make their hot chocolate and a 4 slice toaster - so I can make their breakfast quicker. But in the last 16 years nothing for birthdays, mothers day, Xmas etc. Don't let it get you down. Ours is a thankless job.

You could start cutting down on every ones gifts and put less thought into them next year. If it gets them down, let them know how disappointed you have been over the years and you just seem to be loosing that Christmas spirit.

Answer 3

I don't blame you for having hurt feelings. As a mom I too feel that sometimes everyone just assumes moms are suppose to do everything that we try to do for our families.

I don't know the answer. I just try to move on and in my heart I've done what I felt was right whether anyone appreciated it or not.

Just remember "The only person you live your entire life with is yourself, so make sure you do what you feel is right.

I'm sorry your family didn't show their appreciation. If it makes you feel better, the two gifts I got were a food chopper and a coffee maker (I don't drink coffee)

Answer 4

Wow. You're married to a jerk. Sometime in the next couple of days sit him down and explain to him the symbolic importance of gift-giving and the sentimental importance it has to you. Speak in short sentences and use little words so he can understand. Next year, give him a list and include stores too. Some guys are just ignorant, some are selfish, and I think yours is both. I wish I could have gotten you something myself.

Answer 5

I think you husband was not right for doing so. I think he takes your kindness for a joke. He is so use of receivine that he think he don't have to give. I would ask him if he is planning on catching the after Xmas sale to give me a a gift you have a right to be upset. You live with the Scrooge!

Answer 6

I don't mean to sound mean.....but it's the parent's job to teach the children about giving gifts as well as receiving them.

Even if your older children were short on money they could have made you something......or done something special for you.

Children do what they're taught.

Answer 7

I feel bad for you. I "had" to buy my own gift. My parents didn't call me or sent me a Christmas card. It is just sooo disappointing. Makes me sad.

Answer 8

it's only human to feel like you are. take his credit card and slam something good on it for yourself. i had to remind my husband too what i wanted or he would have never gotten me anything. it's only in later years of our marriage that he actually started buying things for me any how. I had to tell him that it would be nice if you could return the favor once in a while. so i feel your pain.

Answer 9

I would feel hurt. I think you need to let them know. If they don't think it is important to you, they may not feel it is necessary. Perhaps you are putting too much into it and need to not make it so fantastic for everyone at your expense.

Answer 10

You have good reason to feel hurt. Talk to all of them and let them know how thoughtless they were to you, they need their eyes opened.