My daughter's father has his visitation currently suspended untill a future court date in January. His family calls and asks to see her, I know they love her, but they allow her dad to see her while she is with them and they FREQUENTLY bring her home an hour or two late and get upset and argue with me if they can't have her longer than I tell them. They continually push my buttoms and constantly argue with me when they can't get their way (with what time to bring my daughter home). It eventually gets to the point where I don't allow them to see her because they don't respect my wishes with the set time to bring her home.
2007-12-25 13:26:10 · 8 answers · asked by Ari's Mom 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You do NOT have to allow the father's family to see her at all. As long as his visitation is suspended, there is nothing they can do. If they don't abide by your wishes when they do see her, don't give them the privilege. When she is old enough, she can see them when she wants, but till then, you are her mother, and in charge of her well-being, so you make the rules.
2007-12-25 13:36:49 · answer #1 · answered by kathi1vee 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't owe these people anything especially when it comes to length of time your daughter is with them. If they are unable to see your point then maybe they will be able to see the legality of the issue. By them allowing her to see her father when visitation is suspended it is in violation of court order of which they will be liable for. I went through the same thing about 5 years ago with my kids' father and my ex father in law. I know it's not a good situation to be in but you've got to stand your ground. Obviously, visitation is suspended for a reason and it's not up to them to determine if it's in your daughter's best interest to see her dad. If they can't respect 1) your time restraints 2) court order to not let her father see her 3) you in general by arguing about it then they do not deserve your respect and the privilege of being able to see your daughter. They should look at it as a gift for every minute they get to spend with her instead of taking advantage of the situation. It's not good for you or you daughter to be put through the stress that they are creating. Also, I would mention this at the court proceedings in January so it's all on record "just in case". You can never be too careful. I may sound like a pessimist but it's only because I've been through it before. Good luck!
2007-12-26 01:26:58 · answer #2 · answered by Mommyto3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't blame you for getting angry. you are the mother, the grandparents have no authority. you do not owe them anything and they should be glad you allow your daughter to visit them. they disrespect you by bringing her home late and allowing her to see her father. they are lucky you don't call the police and have them charged with kidnap when they bring her home two hours late!!! tell them that since they have no respect for you and question your parenting, if they want to see her it will be at your house and your discretion and your convience. they had a good thing going and they ruined it. i went through all you are going through years ago so i understand. my ex in-laws totally disrespected my rules and did as they pleased. i told them in no uncertain terms that if they didn't follow my rules, visitation would cease. they even took me to court when i stood my ground and i won the court case. they finally realized that i meant what i said and abide by my rules. all i wanted was for them to bring my daughter home at a certain time and not take her across the state line to visit relatives without my knowledge. i am the type of mother who needs to know where my children are at all times...especially when they are little!!! good luck to you!!
2007-12-25 21:38:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
just remind them that its your choice whther or not they can see her, and that you know they love her and you don't want to keep her from them, but when you say she has to be home by a certain time, she has to be home... she's your daughter and you make the rules not them... if they were going to let her see her father they should at least ask your permission before just doing it, especailly if courts and everything else are invloved because they could get in trouble for taking her to see him if his visitation rights are suspended.
2007-12-25 21:32:03 · answer #4 · answered by Brandy P 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Stop allowing her to go with them. No respect = No visit
2007-12-26 00:55:46 · answer #5 · answered by MHnurseC 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel guilty at all since you are not the one breaking any of the rules. If they respected your wishes, they could see her, but they don't. End of story.
2007-12-25 21:41:33 · answer #6 · answered by berrel 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd remind the family that you know they love the kids, and that you realize they like the extra time... ask them to please understand that you are all going through a rough time, and you'd just like to stick with arrangements as they are made....
so that, if the kids are to be home at a certain time, please stick with the schedule...
otherwise, i suppose you will have to do what you think is best.
take car.e
2007-12-25 22:55:09 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they did this to themselves. Don't let yourself feel guilty. You are the parent and if your wishes can't be respected, than they can't come around. simple as that. The kids don't derseve the conflict and you dont' deserve the anxiety
2007-12-25 21:35:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋