she told me that they were in love for 5 years, and that HE left her, heartbroken. she has not expressed any regret about being involved with him. i can't help thinking i am a better man than that, and that maybe i am "too good" for this woman, if that (abuse) is normal to her. i get the impression that she would still be with him if he had not left her for another woman. what do you think?
2007-12-25 13:22:21 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
abuse is never 'normal' for anyone. when your in love with someone you look past the flaws and in this case abuse. its corny, but love is blind. dont expect her to regret something or someone that once made her happy. yes you are better than him...but not her. if you really like her than stay with her...if not...than dont be wiht her...just dont leave her because of the whole exlover thing...we all have our problems...wouldnt you rather have her tell you about him than finding it out from someone else?
2007-12-25 14:00:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
look - her EX was the abusive alcoholic - NOT HER. keep that in mind.
who cares about that? isn't she with you?
sometimes we express regrets about our past relationships and sometimes we don't. either way they're supposed to hold some good memories about it. i'm sure her ex wasn't an abusive alcoholic for 5 years straight in the time they were together. no one would be silly enough to stay in that. that is unless she was genuinely scared what would happen to her if she tried to get out.
you don't really understand what she is feeling. don't hold this grudge against her
if you genuinely like her - you should accept her for who is. not her past or her exs. if we all did that - who knows what the world would be like
wishing you a successful new year
2007-12-26 08:05:45 · answer #2 · answered by sigsall 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You lost respect for her because you thought you were dealing with a classier and more intelligent person than you were. I don't know if her being stupid in that area of her life makes her beneath you though. I think I would be uncomfortable with that kind of history too, but if she seems to be in love with you and otherwise seems on the level, I guess it's alright. Good night!
2007-12-25 21:37:21 · answer #3 · answered by anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think she has serious self esteem issues if she feels an abusive alcoholic is the best she can do. Help her with it so hopefully one day she will see that she can do better than that. It also depends if she knew he was an abusive alcoholic before they started dating.
2007-12-25 21:27:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If she hasn't learned anything from that relationship, she's probably a head case, and my guess is that's what you're having trouble with. I know I'd be concerned if I were in your shoes.
2007-12-26 10:34:58 · answer #5 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show compassion for her. You are only "too good' for her if you think that way. Show her she doesn't need to be abused to enjoy a relationship.
2007-12-25 21:31:10 · answer #6 · answered by PuttPutt 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I had a ex that sounds like that and i thought the relationship was better than it actually was and i realized that when i met my husband. Don't be judgmental it's not nice.
2007-12-25 21:29:50 · answer #7 · answered by Katie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
she would.dude i know,some woman think if you dont abuse them you dont love them, get a woman thats compatible with you.she probably says your too nice or something doesn't she.
2007-12-25 21:32:32 · answer #8 · answered by didomidoxa 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't be a jerk. she probably thinks your to good for her. you obviously don't hit her and in the other relationship she probably loved him so she thought every time he hit her it would be the last. give her time to get over it and tell her she didn't deserve it. nobody does.
2007-12-25 21:27:40 · answer #9 · answered by Hailey C 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
show her your a bigger better man if thats what you have to prove maybe you need her to have more self respect for herself
2007-12-25 21:27:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋