I'm ready to move to the next stages of my life or at least I think I'm ready. What scares me is that I don't know how good I would be in a relationship and whether someone would love me for who I am. I've changed so much since last year and learned to be myself. My problem is that I'm ready to move on and start dating but I'm still in love with my first love. She's one of the reason I've changed so much. I've learned to like myself and come out of my shell. I'm not sure what to do with that because I never want to intentionally hurt her in anyway and I think that she deserves better. I do know that I'm always going to care and love them. There's no doubt in my mind about that one.
2007-12-25 12:52:25 · 17 answers · asked by Whatever 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you're still in love with the first one, is she still in love with you? Was she ever? Why aren't you two still together? If it really cannot be resolved (for example, if she has a drug problem, or is a liar), then you need to accept that it isn't going to work.
People assume you can't control love, you can't choose to love or not love, who to love. But the fact is, you need to control your responses to others with your will. Aleister Crowley may have gotten a lot of things wrong, but he got that one right: "love is the law; love UNDER will." Will under love is a definition of obsession, and is very, very dangerous. Make sure to keep your head on top, in command of your heart.
2007-12-25 12:59:57 · answer #1 · answered by auntb93 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Despite the length of your post, your question is unclear. So you've matured and changed, due to your first love's influence. And you don't want to hurt her, but you're ready to move on with the next stage of your ife? So what's the conflict or problem? Can you two move together to the next stage? What is your current relationship with her? Why are you ready to move on and start dating if you care about her and always will? Sounds to me like you're not as matured and changed as you think you are. So she helped you chang and become a better person, and now you want to dump her and find some one else, while still caring about her? Why? Think about what you're trying to say, what you want to do. 'Cause unfortunately, it sounds like you're being a self-centered jerk, which is not a sign of maturity. Any relationship takes work, because NONE of us are perfect, and we all make mistakes, and you're combining two imperfect people in a relationship, plus assorted in-laws & relatives. Are you unwilling to work to take your relationship to the next level? Sounds like she's been patient with you, and now you want to dump her?
2007-12-25 21:04:26 · answer #2 · answered by chatsplas 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are still in love. If you are to move on ,you need to take your mind somewhere else.
Find a friend first.It s not important to be in love with her.Start with a attraction.Start going out and QUIT talking about her,all the time.Busy your mind with other things.
With every love we take away part of them.Use your heart to determine what you think was good,use it to grow into a better person & mate for the next person,you fall in love with.
2007-12-25 21:03:36 · answer #3 · answered by Bebe S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly it sounds like you're not ready for any relationship. You sound like you don't have the confidence needed for a relationship. I spent the last three years not in a relationship and not even talking to friends. Now I am much more independent confident and self reliant. All of which were lacking before.
2007-12-25 20:59:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The world is a cruel place. I went through the samething the last two years. I finally decided I was ready, I found a guy I thought was perfect. It turned out that he wasn't ready, nor could he accept me for me.
It seemed to me that when I wasn't ready, dudes just knocked down my door. But as soon as I wanted in on it, they ran for the hills. Its really hard for humans to accept other humans for who they are because we have so many idealist standards. But good luck .
2007-12-25 20:59:38 · answer #5 · answered by stygean666 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really love your past love, then you need to casually talk to her about it, if she is in a relationship, then you definitely don't want to spring it on her, so try to move yourself into her life again and if it's meant to be, she'll begin to love you again, and if not, move on and find a new love
2007-12-25 20:57:14 · answer #6 · answered by Nicole P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am having trouble understanding your question. You say you are still in love with your first ove. You never want to hurt her, and think she deserves better. Why don't you stay with your first love?
2007-12-25 20:57:06 · answer #7 · answered by miamiwings 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
h0nestly i understand yuh l0ve her bt yuh CANT!! stay in a c0rner cryin all daii yuh have t0 move 0n! i kn0 dts easy t0 say & hard t0 d0. there's n0 doubt dt yuh will never l0ve sum0ne like yuh l0ve her, bt yuh need t0 try new things & meet new pe0ple dt way yuh will really kn0 wt yuh want. jus stay friends with her cuz jus because yall broke up it d0sent mean dt yall need t0 st0p talkiin..=) i h0pe dt yuh can find a way 0ut & keep yur head up..bt jus remember if yuh l0ve sum0ne yuh will alway's l0ve dt pers0n n0 matter wut, n0 matter h0w many people yuh meet. [cuz true l0ve never dies]
2007-12-25 21:00:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to move on
2007-12-25 20:56:48 · answer #9 · answered by zoey1176 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people are going to come and go in our lives, be patient and when the right woman comes along you will definately know. sometimes things might seem right when they arent.
2007-12-25 21:00:31 · answer #10 · answered by didomidoxa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋