10 points for honest opinion!!!?

Question

10 points for honest opinion!!!?
why dont i get on with my parents??

Everytime i spend more than 1 day with my parents we always argue to the point where i get my bags and leave, for examply we had a horendous argument today christmas day!

My dad has a short fuse and my mum and dad are only interested in you if you are doing things for them i have found i have become totally disinterested in them to the point i am thinking about changing my number so they cannot contact me?

I find no matter what i do they belittle me and put me down?

Answer 1

Find the root of the conflict, like why are you always arguing? Maybe you'll find out that one person is being very difficult, or that you don't listen to each other and take each other's opinions seriously.
It would be sad to lose contact with your parents, whenever your with them, just try as hard as you can to be patient.

Answer 2

Your situation is unfortunate because obviously you care. The situation is not rare however, it exist in many families.
My suggestion is this. First sit down and concentrate on yourself. Get to know your strengths as well as your weaknesses. Don't short change yourself, you need to be very exact and truthful here. Then set some positive goals for yourself...something to help guide you positively.
After you know better who you really are, I suggest you compose an honest and sincere letter to your parents. Tell them how you feel and avoid being accusatory. Most of all explain your desire to be close with them and how mutual respect would be a good start. Let them know that they can best show their love, or interest by at least meeting you half way.
Don't forget to tell them you love them. Remember...nobody is perfect, other than being a perfect them. Don't give up hope. It's worth a try and could be the beginning of a new beginning for all of you.

Answer 3

Make your visits short, 1-2 hours and be on your way! Always be positive about how you are doing but leave details out. Parents are only around for a limited time! Love them from a distance, appreciate what good things they have done for you and then live your life in peace. My parents passed away within the last 2 years. We had our challenges, perhaps not like yours but I wish I could tap into some of the words of wisdom from my Dad now and then. My Mom was usually negative and fear oriented, but I wish I could hug her just one more time! I'm crying G2G!

Answer 4

I think that there is always a way around improving your relationships with your parents no matter how bad things get. They are your parents and believe it or not deep down they love you and only want what's best for you. It's a high possibility that you might not necessarily agree with their ways of doing things and they might not agree with your way of doing things. But, the reality is they are your parents and you have to find a way to work around it. Leaving things unresolved and just walking out angry and frustrated every time is not going to do anyone of you any good.Try to take things slow and for now avoid any such discussions that might lead to messy arguments. But whatever you do, don't just leave your parents, or cut off all mutual contact with them just because you guys can't agree on anything.

Answer 5

First of all, how old are you? I guess you no longer live with them. I felt this way about my mom since I was a teenager. She had mental and personality problems that severely damaged our relationship. I used to try to overlook it when I was around her after moving out, but about one day was all I could take as well. As far as changing your number, that is a little extreme. Why don't you just set some boundaries. If you are an adult, they need to learn to treat you like an adult and not their child anymore. Distance yourself, but do not cut them off. You will regret that in the long run. Good luck!

Answer 6

You are a grown up now so move on. You only have to see them on your terms which is nice. Don't worry about what they think of you anymore. I don't. I have nothing to do with my mother and my life couldn't be better. I hear from her from time to time, but for the most part I feel that she causes a lot of drama in my life as well as the rest of the family. It's nice to be grown and not be forced to view only her oppinion. I have my own and she hates that. I have put my mother in her place so many times since I have become an adult. As a kid she would beat the hell out of me, but not ANYMORE!

Answer 7

Leave them be for a little while and have your space from them. Tell them how they make you feel and If they continue then just tell them to call you when they learn to listen. All parents know how to drive there kids mad. Only see them for the holidays and birthdays and that is it. If they drive you nuts that bad!! Sometimes it's best to keep away from negative people even If it is our family. The decision is your If you want to discontinue contact.

Answer 8

I know how you feel my parents are the same way, that is why I moved 2000 miles away from them, when I go home for the holidays I get a hotel to minimize my interaction with them. It's not that I don't love them I just don't want to argue with them anymore.

Answer 9

I am telling my best friend to totally cut his parents and brother off. They are *******, treat him like crap, and cause him to drink and become depressed. When he is at his happiest is when he is with friends and has not talked to his family for a long while.

That is my advice to you. You did not chose your parents and if they make you unhappy, then distance yourself from them.

Hell my best friend's finance even did that with her crazy Evangelical mother and she is happy as well now. It works. Distance from people that cause you stress is a wonderful thing.

Answer 10

You might need to distance yourself from them for a while. Sounds like you are an independent thinker and maybe you have figured them out! A lot of us have family that we wouldn't even speak to if they weren't kin to us, so do what you need to do for your own happiness. Change your number if you have to. good Luck