Ok, the guy I like lost his virginity to his last girlfriend... I'm still a virgin and he keeps commenting to me that dating that girl and the girlfriend before her were HUGE mistakes and he wishes he hadn't... What do I do so as not to be "another mistake"? We haven't really even started dating yet (his breakup was too recent) but we've been talking and once he's over it we'll likely get together... I'm not slutty or anything, so there won't be sex for a while at least, but I'm concerned about the longrun effects on our friendship and his opinion of me. His last 2 girlfriends, he HATES them now, because they both hurt him... I'd never EVER hurt him (except maybe a bruise or two from some "love punches" when he embarrasses me, lol, but he'll be fine) but I'm scared that he'll develop the same opinion of me as he has of them... A mistake, a regret, something he wishes never happened... What do I do?
2007-12-25 11:41:54 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it's easy to say that you'll never hurt him. he hasn't done anything worth hurting him for. lol
seriously, it's kinda hard to believe how quickly things can get bad when you're with someone. even if you think you're doing the right thing you can still end up hurting one another. it's hard to be friends after that. you shouldn't have to choose between having him as a friend or a boyfriend. just remember that sometimes choosing one means you don't get to have the other.
it's not fair and it sucks but it happens like that.
2007-12-26 20:29:20 · answer #1 · answered by Informer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not really a concern about your bf's sex/love history.
This should not affect your choice of whether you want to keep your virginity. What sounds to me is actually he is not
too mature in handling post-relationships, and you are disagreeing with his acts. You both think differently. A mature guy would have thought of what's in your mind now, isn't it naive to boo his exs to make you feel good/not jealous?
He obviously doesn't know that you worries being the next victim. You'd rather have him say nice things about them, and because relationship is not a simple thing, breaking up has
all different causes, and you should not have hard feelings about his exs, right?. A long lasting relationship requires both sides to see things from a same point, to have same thoughts, therefore to be together in harmony in real life. If you disagree with someone, what is the use of just looking at a handsome face you like, and have the handsome face argue with you all the times in the future? You deserve a more mature guy.
2007-12-25 20:11:36 · answer #2 · answered by asana84000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could just be that he is immature and thinks that bashing his last girlfriends will make you feel special. Or maybe he still actually has feelings of longing towards them, so he bad-mouths them to convince himself (and you) that he is over them. Of course, your scenario is also entirely possible, though it could just be that he doesn't really regret being with them, but that he feels bitterness because of the way things ended/how they "screwed him over". If you do get together, and eventually breakup, just try to make sure that the feelings are mutual (i.e. make sure that he feels as if he has a say in it). By letting him down easily (and being fair and rational), it would make it a lot harder for him to think negatively about you. Just message me if you need any more info. Good luck.
2007-12-25 19:56:49 · answer #3 · answered by Wizeguy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a choice you've got to make.If you really like him then go for it and tell him. If you think that he might not be very trust worthy after two break ups, let it hang in the air for a while.Let him realise that life's not a joke.Once you think he's matured enough, go for it.
2007-12-25 19:50:10 · answer #4 · answered by Kartik A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just don't hurt him. you sound like good girlfriend material. and if you don't wanna have sex, then don't. I believe a true test of love is if you say "I won't have sex until we're married." and he says ok and leaves you, he wanted only one thing. but if he's around for 2 years and gives you a ring, he truly loves you.
2007-12-25 19:48:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't play with fire and you won't get burned. Leave sex out of the relationship. If he really likes you it won't be about sex.
2007-12-25 19:50:15 · answer #6 · answered by Jes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't promise you wont hurt him, because that's an outright lie! You can't see the future, so don't pretent you can control it. Just be yourself.
2007-12-25 19:48:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel you have to take a chance and hope for the best.
2007-12-25 19:49:25 · answer #8 · answered by Jerry S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋