I keep getting negative feedback from friends re: homeschooling.?

Question

I've lived in 3 different states (CA, SD & TX). It was very common in CA & SD to do homeschooling and heard a lot of positive things about it. Here in TX it's a whole different story. Most of my friends here say it won't help my son confront difficult situations in the future and they have told me of a few kids who got "cabin fever" and just went wild and gave parents many problems rebelling. My son is in 2nd grade, does well in school and recently his teacher told me he is very mature for his age and that he's 2 years ahead in verbal comprehension. Everyone tells me he's so proper and well behaved. Growing up I hated school and begged my mom to put me in homeschooling and she refused, now that I have a son she wants me to pull him out of school and homeschool him because he's been bullied (not often though). I've been thinking about homeschooling him starting 6th grade if he accepts if not he'll continue with public school. What are your thoughts on the bad feedback I've gotten?

Answer 1

Well I am a homeschooler, and most of my kids are grown, so I know it works. I would always suggest it as the best option.
As far as your "friends", ignore them. You don't need approval or praise from anyone to raise your child correctly. This is your child...... choose what is best for him and ignore everyone else.

My three oldest sons are in their mid/late 20s. They were homeschooled. They work, own homes, went to college, etc. My daughter is almost 18. She will go to college too. Homeschooling works. The kids grow up, go to college, marry, buy homes and cars, hold down jobs just like the rest of society.

Answer 2

My thoughts on the feedback:

1) Recognize the negative feedback for what it is: well-intentioned people who just don't know any better. Public schooled and private schooled kids also can end up rebelling and going wild. I doubt there's a higher percentage among homeschoolers. Home life is not without difficult situations. Doing things around the community and with other homeschoolers is not without difficult situations.

2) Recognize your mother's feedback for what it is: someone who has had a change of heart after being able to reflect further on the situation and see what things are like.

3) What do you think is in your son's best interests and why? Some might question why you should wait until gr. 6 if you think homeschooling is a good idea, especially with a child who is so far advanced and is being bullied. (If you were sharing that he was being abused at school, but not often--so it mustn't be a big deal--how would that sound to you? Psychologists agree: bullying is a form of abuse.) Some might question why homeschool him at all--for what purpose? And placing such a decision in the hands of an 11yo--is that wise? Would you allow him to decide which house you would move into? Which city your family would move to? You are still his mother, with more wisdom and your job is to guide him. Not to mention that the only reason he would likely choose to homeschool that point is if his public school experience had been miserable. Wouldn't you want to pull him out before he gets miserable?

In the end, you need to inform yourself thoroughly about homeschooling, then search your heart to figure out if it's the right thing for your son. And use others' comments as a starting point for your own learning and self-reflection.

Answer 3

I think getting negative feedback on homeschooling is par for the course. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with homeschooling, it just means that a lot of people, mostly those who have had little to no real involvement or experience with homeschooling, don't like it.

When ever anyone goes off the beaten path, there will be people who did take the common road telling them that they're making a mistake and should have done things like everyone else.

Homeschooling is a great option. Personally, I got cabin fever being in a school all day. It's a personal preference. If a kid is homeschooled and feels he isn't getting out enough, parents should help him find more activities to do outside of the home. It's not such a big deal.

Answer 4

There's already some really good advice on here, so why reinvent the wheel?

If you need to reinforce why you believe homeschooling is the way to go for your own family, they do the reading you need and get on with it. But this should be for you. Be strong! From now on, tell people you love and appreciate them, but the subject is not open for negotiation. Wow! When I figured that out, my entire life changed. Okay they (and their opinions) stayed the same. But I didn't care anymore.

You need to know that what you do is the right decision for your family. All the slack you get about homeschooling is from their fears and they choose to remain ignorant in their fears. That's not your problem! And it's not their kids.

I don't convince others to homeschool and I get irritated when I'm told mine should be in public school.

You made it through CA home schooling. So, from what I've read, the hardest is all behind you.

Do a search on Dr. Brian Ray's book on adults who are doing very well after a home education. I can't find the site where I got some really great clips of his data. But here's a start: http://www.nheri.org/content/view/174/51/

Answer 5

It is up to you Mom to make homeschooling a non isolating experience. There are many homeschool associations in Texas. If you have trouble teaching a certain subject the association has parents that can help.

If your child just needs socialization not only do the homeschool associations have classes they have educational field trips.

Put your child in some drama classes or art, or poetry classes.

We did this until my son was high school aged when he said he wanted to go to public school.

Results:
He is a junior in high school now.

He recieved an 1875 on his most recent PSAT.

He is on the student concil, and the drama club.

He is a member of the National Honor Society.

He is trying to attend a Ivy League undiversity. I see little chance of him not maiking it. He is a leader, and an exceptional writer.

All of the bad things and all of the good things they say about homeschooling are true. In homeschooling the benefits are all up to you to provide.

I must say you are doing this the opposite of what I have ever heard. Most people put their young children into homeschool and let thier well schooled teenager go out into the world with a strong background. But I would not hesitate even now to take my son out of public school if he would let me.

Answer 6

Often they are speaking out of fear or ignorance or because they feel judged by your decision -- that you are a better parent, have more time for your kids etc then they do. If you point out to them that most of the reason junior is polite and well behaved is because you homeschool sometimes that helps. Homeschooling is of course no panacea for child rearing but you & hubby need to take a good hard look at why you homeschool, what your goals are, state requirements, etc and then go with what's right for your family.

You've gotten some good advice on here already!

edit: you are the parent and must make the best decision for your son and not the most popular one (whether with him or with peers). http://www.homeschooloasis.com has some great articles on homeschooling older children, mom's reeducation, etc.

Answer 7

I homeschooled and I turned out ok *twitch*. Seriously though. I say depending on the future it would be ok to homeschool. I however wish i would have gone through highschool. My friends all had a great time and I still feel I was kinda left behind. I missed out on missing a lot of people that I could have met. I am very respectful of my parents. I'm not at all a rebel. I open the door for ladies. Random older people I see in the grocery store I from time to time help them to their cars. It's a great option, but you YOURSELF has to also be prepared and able. You will have to teach him and be strong. Don't let him slide when he can't get an answer. You have to be a teacher not a mother. I'd just weigh the options til the time comes and let him decide for himself when you think he's ready.

Answer 8

First quit listening to everyone around you. They are just repeating the same old myths about HS. "My friend knows someone who knows someone ....... that is a recluse because he is home schooled." My nephew is a normal 15 year old who has never been inside a public school. He holds a job plays in 2 bands (he has time a public school kids doesn't have) and makes straight A's in his school work. He plans to go to college and major in business and minor in music. He already has a scholarship to help pay for it and he's in 10th grade.
You know what is best for your kids not them! You know whats best for your family not them! You are the mom if the kids belonged to your friends then they would have the right to voice their opinions to you. I wouldn't wait until 6th grade to start I'd start now or if that's not possible next year and see if he accepts it. But you need to remember that if you bring him home you may need to be more structured in the beginning to help him acclimate to the HS environment. Public school has every second of the day planned out and there is a definite routine to the work schedule and recess. As time passes though you can let the schedule fly out the window and just enjoy it. Also be sure to join a HS group in your area so that you can join them on Field trips and such and take advantage of co-ops in your area.

Answer 9

Texas is one of the easiest states in which to homeschool--just like Illinois (where I live). I am currently homeschooling my 2nd grade son who was recently diagnosed as "cognitively gifted." His reading comprehension is that of an 11 year old and his written expression is that of an 11.5 year old.

What your friends are saying is not based on their personal experience; it is based on secondhand knowledge of someone else's situation. Also, being bullied is not a good thing by any means. No child should have to endure being bullied. It does not make you stronger; sometimes it makes children hateful and full of anger. Going to school should be all about learning--not whether you fit in or not, but, unfortunately, that is not always the case.

Regarding whether your son accepts homeschooling or not, you are the parent. He is in 2nd grade; there are many decisions that parents have to make that children don't necessarily agree with. Of course, it would be great if your son wanted to be homeschooled, but even if he doesn't, you as a parent have to make the final decision.

Initially, my son did not want to be homeschooled. He is an only child, and he viewed school time as "play time." His knowledge base concerning school was two years of public school pre-kindergarten in which he did not learn a lot of new things. (Everything they were teaching, I had already taught him at home.) His kindergarten school experience was a private Christian home learning center where he was taught with nine other children. He thrived in this environment, but again, it was "kindergarten," and there was lots of free/play time. He thought subsequent grades, i.e., 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc. would also have much free/play time. You have to understand that he was only 6 and at the beginning of 1st grade when I began homeschooling him. What else was he to think? His school experiences were definitely limited.

However, when he began 1st grade at a public magnet school, he was bored because of being so advanced. I pulled him out and tried a virtual charter school (public school at home), and his attention span would not allow for the 5 hour one-on-one teaching that was required by the school in order to meet state standards. After 7 weeks of the virtual school, I pulled him out and began to teach him with the curriculum of my choice.

Academically, he is thriving, and after a little over a year, he recently told me there are things he likes about homeschooling. This wasn't true in the beginning; he resisted very strongly, as he is an extremely strong-willed child. Also, he thought he would miss out on things. However, I have supplemented his homeschooling with community sports activities, neighborhood events, "Kraft Great Kids" reading program via the library, etc. He is a very social child and needs many opportunities to socialize, and I am sensitive to his needs.

As stated previously, the feedback you have gotten is based on hearsay. Do your own research, talk to parents who are homeschooling, look up statistics regarding homeschooled children, etc., and then make your own decision.

Following is a link to the National Center for Education Statistics (a Department of Education website) with many articles regarding homeschooling and homeschooled children:

http://nces.ed.gov/pubs2006/homeschool/

I hope this information is helpful.

Answer 10

Homeschooling is very good. Most people who criticize home schooling don't really understand how much work goes into and the excellent results that may be achieved.

You can't decide to home school based on other peoples' likes or dislikes. You must be dedicated to it, and willing to put in the hours, time, work, money and patience that is needed to homeschool.

Homeschoolers are generally happy, well adjusted and well educated people.