I lost my 18 month old daughter and my husband 5 years ago. They drowned. She fell in, he jumped in after her and I can't swim so I ran for help but I don't speak Spanish and the help arrived too late.
Anyway I haven't worked since that day and my sister is also on benefits but in her case it is because she has 5 children by 5 different men and is a drug addict and alcoholic.
She keeps telling me to 'get over it' but it isn't that easy. I'm never going to forget my beautiful daughter or wonderful husband and I resent that she is telling me how to live my life.
In truth, I do wish that I could get better but I resent the fact that she is telling me what to do when she doesn't even care about the fact that she is on benefits. I want to have a proper life. I want to get married and have another baby, I don't want to be on benefits.
I want to get an office job and to learn how to type and use email and stuff like that.
I just don't know where to start?
2007-12-25 10:15:51 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am so sorry! That is a horrible story and I feel so bad for you. You can simply disregard your sisters' unwanted comments for now; hopefully she'll outgrow them. Don't forget, she has no power over your life. Only YOU do. Get a job, learn to type, get an e-mail, do anything and everything you want. You have nothing holding you back. Set yourself up with a good, settled life and then, when you're ready look for another nice guy. I feel deeply for you and I'll be thinking of you during the holiday season. If you need support, join a club or a support group to help you get over your loss. Keep a small picture of your husband and your daughter with you, for times when you feel a bit down. Imagine them guiding you and encouraging you to do all that you want to do. They will always be with you, smiling down at you, watching you move forward in your life and do great things. Good luck!
2007-12-25 12:42:31 · answer #1 · answered by Just Another Girl... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Augh! I am so sorry that you had such a loss of your family. It take awile to get over it. We all deal with things like these differently. I would not worry about your sister at this point. Get some professional counseling to help deal with your emotional state at the moment. Start there and then work on your goal of getting back to work again. One day at a time. Do you have any other relatives or friends that you could talk to? You need an outlet to plug into that will help you deal with so much right now. I hope you will find it and I will pray that you do. Don't give up!!
2007-12-25 10:26:40 · answer #2 · answered by Mike S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want training to get back into the work force contact your Social Security or Benefits Supplier and ask them if they will provide help to get the training. Most will do it as it helps to get you off their books and back into the workforce. There may be a Community Centre near you which will help out with a short course to give you the basics.
Look around there is help out there. And congratulations for not sitting there waiting for it all to come to you.
2007-12-25 10:22:24 · answer #3 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes Get Help, obviously you will not forget them, but they wouldn't want you failing, you want to be making them proud. Start off by looking at your local college for any courses to get some grades. Think about getting a loan and looking for a job. Ask friends to teach you things. Start thinking about yourself, your sister is some what right in saying to move on, but obviously remember them and do your best.
Thats all you can do in life
and I hope everything goes well. x
2007-12-25 10:24:39 · answer #4 · answered by Livvie ♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Phone your local council and ask them about adult education opportunities. Go and visit the local centre and ask questions.
Your Sister just wants your problems to go away so that hers can take priority. There is no point in disliking her for this...it is human nature to be selfish...especially those who take drugs. Deal with you own life....one step at a time.
I hope you have a successful year coming up and I wish you all good fortune.
2007-12-25 10:21:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
your sister has her own problems but DONT YOU GO THERE you have been through so much more look in your local paper there will be classes to help you but they might be attached to a church but don't let that put you off i am not a church goer or believer but they gave me skills to help me and i still don't go to church also stop thinking of marriage and children take all the help you can get you sound like a strong Pearson that just needs a little help my wishes are with you xxx good luck
2007-12-25 11:01:04 · answer #6 · answered by stirling silver 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
start with counseling. Talk to ur family doctor, they can refer u to someone, or social worker (who u meet with for ur benefits).... u can also go to any free clinic and tell them u want to speak with a therapist for ur depression. They will help u and guide u. Once u get into therapy, it will be clearer as to the path to take for a better and new life.
U are in my prayers.
2007-12-25 10:35:00 · answer #7 · answered by Sadie S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO it then ,put your money where your mouth is and go to the job center.
Stop whingeing about your sister's life ,you clearly dont like her very much and get some grief /guilt counseling and move on.
2007-12-25 10:25:58 · answer #8 · answered by sallysue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear what happened to your daughter and husband, its a tragedy which is hard to cope with.
i can understand your concerns and my advise would be talk to someone you trust and ask them for help, you are not over sensitive... try to overcome although its hard and if i was in your position god knows what would have happened to me.
try your best to make yourself busy with anything useful, fullfill your time
good luck
2007-12-25 12:24:18 · answer #9 · answered by Student 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thx lots for the 2 points soz i don't know the answer but u've got loads of other answers
2007-12-25 10:59:33 · answer #10 · answered by Leb_scot 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋