What's you favorite funny quote(s)?
2007-12-25 10:07:49 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Quotations
" If you are in the gay mafia and you get 'whacked', is that a good thing?
-Larry the cable guy
2007-12-25 10:12:01 · answer #1 · answered by fatguy845 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do, or do not. There is no try. - Yoda
There's a light at the end of every tunnel, just pray it's not a train.
Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like? - Jean Cocturan
Everyone’s entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the
privilege
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand
Always give 3 weeks notice when you quit. It gives you extra time to screw around.
If you need space join NASA!
If man could create the perfect woman, he'd probably cheat on her.
Don't judge a book by it's cover -- judge it by the movie.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2007-12-26 20:03:18 · answer #2 · answered by Indu D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got quite a few. Here they are, and enjoy:
"If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving."
"Never fight an inanimate object."
"Never be rude to elderly strangers in foreign hotels. They always turn out to be the king of Sweden."
"Blessed are those who sit on bees, for they shall rise again."
"It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. "
"The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. Not in that order."
"These are bagpipes. I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equalled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig."
"To err is human. To blame it on a computer is even more so."
"America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there. "
2007-12-25 10:12:38 · answer #3 · answered by Steve 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love sarcastic quotes like "Stupidity is not a crime, so you're free to go " .. in fact i find many quotes found on tshirt and put them together in one page .. thats how much i love quotes with a dash of sarcasm in it ..
2007-12-28 11:05:29 · answer #4 · answered by nekoneko 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of good has come from drugs. I think Penny Lane is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. Because a lot of kids wouldn't even be born if it weren't for that album, so it evens out. - Bill Maher
2007-12-27 23:41:13 · answer #5 · answered by principessa_510 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not the lead sled dog, the world looks pretty much the same every day.
To err is human, to pass air is also human.
2007-12-25 15:56:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. i never have a battle of wits with an unarmed man!
2. my golf handicap is that i suck at golf
3. never try to teach a pig to sing,..it wastes your time and annoys the pig!
2007-12-25 10:32:03 · answer #7 · answered by parkermbg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Old Confucius saying "Go to bed with itchy hiney...wake up with smelly finger."
2007-12-25 10:12:11 · answer #8 · answered by Zeekster 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One of my favorites is "If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you" lol lol
2007-12-25 10:11:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sincerity is the key... once you can fake that, you've got it made.
2007-12-25 10:11:06 · answer #10 · answered by fiveamrunner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋