My husband is constantly putting his mother and his sister and cousin's before me and his children. He spent most of Christmas Eve with them and brought in Christmas with them while the kids and I stayed home. He keeps this family and his other family separated. He knows that I according to God's word am supposed to be first in his life as his wife. His reply to that is "Oh well, that's my family and as long as my mother is alive that's the way it is going to be". He has even tatoo'd his mother's name on his arm. He wants the benefit's of a wife but does not put any effort into the marriage. I pay most of the bills, I make his breakfast every morning before he goes to work, I wash his clothes and even pays his truck note. Most of his money stays in his pocket because he knows that even if he does not give me any money that I will not let the bills go lacking because of the children. I am looking for Christian counseling and advice on this. Whay do I do??
2007-12-25 08:48:34 · 10 answers · asked by Dae9 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
It is HIS choice to keep me away from his family. Not mine. He does not see me every day all day long because he works alot. The only real time we get to spend is on the weekends which he chooses to spend with his mother and sister's or other family. Because he works alot the time that he does get off he tries to see them instead of spending that off time with me and the kids. All of the children are not his mother's grandchildren so that is why she does not care if she sees them or not. My children that are her grandchildren go to her house on their own.
2007-12-25 09:40:05 · update #1
Obviously "Christian advice and counseling" hasn't done you a whole lot of good, considering the state your marriage is in, but if that's all you want, fine.
It isn't as though atheists have lower divorce rates than Christians or anything...oh, wait. Yes, we do!
2007-12-25 08:53:50 · answer #1 · answered by Godless AM™ VT 7 · 3⤊ 3⤋
That's not a marriage, but a contract of servitude your husband has you in. Is there anywhere you and the children can go? There would be some serious changes before I would stick around in a marriage that has no mutual love and respect. It's not good for you and it certainly is not good for your children. My husband just peered over my shoulder and read your question. He said, "I'd give him the boot! Tell him that if he doesn't want this marriage then he can leave, but if he does....then he had better start acting like it." You have to know what it is you want, and fight for it...Don't back down for nothing!! I'm not going to tell you that you need to divorce him, but you may have to seperate to wake him up. I would not hesitate on seperating if he continues to be heartless, selfish, and emotionally detached from his own. God bless you as you seek the right way to go.
2007-12-25 09:07:35 · answer #2 · answered by HeVn Bd 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
is that it rather is new situation, or did you be responsive to that he grow to be like this before you married him and had little ones with him? once you have been engaged, did he take you around his mom and sister? Have the youngsters frolicked along with his family contributors interior the previous? If it rather is the way its consistently been, then now's no longer the time to commence complaining. it rather is an argument that could desire to have been dealt with before you made little ones with this guy. If its a reasonably new element, look lower back and notice in case you'll be certain whilst it began. Did you and his mom have a confrontation, or did your little ones and his cousins no longer get alongside? you're able to desire to locate the underlying situation, or you will in no way be able to repair issues. or perhaps nonetheless counseling is a sturdy thought, if he has made his innovations up -- as he says he has -- then counseling won't do any sturdy. you may desire to tell him that his no longer keeping up his end of the best purchase on your marriage. If he needs to maintain issues separate, than he needs to commence paying his costs and you pay yours. supply for your self and your little ones, and enable him fend for himself.
2016-10-02 08:21:05 · answer #3 · answered by edgmon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you really need advice on what to do,I think you already know what to do,you just want reassurance,I can't believe someone wouldn't want to spend time with his own family,I can see spending me with family,but not even helping with expenses and paying for his own truck,good luck,I hope that you have at least a decent Christmas,god bless
2007-12-25 10:05:16 · answer #4 · answered by thomasl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you saying that he doesn't let you visit his family? Because that's kind of weird. Why would his mother not want to see her grandchildren at the very least? If you've tried talking to him about it and he's not responsive, I'd talk to his mother and get her take on things.
or are you saying you don't choose to join him? In which case, that's your issue, not his. It's not unreasonable that he wants to spend some time with his mother. hHe spends everyday with you.
2007-12-25 08:53:42 · answer #5 · answered by Nightwind 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to STOP doing his laundry, STOP making his breakfast, STOP paying his bills, STOP supporting him. His mother can do all that if thats what he wants.
he's a mama's boy, and you should have figured this out before you were married.
You do have the right to leave him and file for separation. You can claim emotional abuse.
2007-12-25 10:48:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well the Bible tells women to be subject to their husbands, yet it also tells husbands to be loving and faithful to their wives. The way that I hear it from you your doing what the Bible says and he isn't. I think that you should pray for guidance and speak to someone in your church. There's no reason for you to suffer while your trying to live a life pleasing to God.
2007-12-25 09:30:54 · answer #7 · answered by nathanjonramirez 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1 Timothy 3: 5
Wow not much a man that he would forgo his own family.
2007-12-25 08:58:59 · answer #8 · answered by Seeno†es™ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Toss him out and get a man.
2007-12-25 08:56:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
tell your husband that he should put and his kid first because when your got married your became as one so he should put yours first
2007-12-25 08:53:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋