i have a huge problem....?

Question

my brother is out of control; he's tearing my family apart. he's 14...he only has one friend who he's known for about 5 or 6 years. the only time they hang out is when they go to his friend's dad's house every other weekend & i'm surprised his friend still puts up with him, my brother is really mean to him and tries to boss him around all the time & yells at him. he's never had a girlfriend, & all he does is sit around all day on xbox live talking to a bunch of random people he's never even met. he cannot go more than 30 seconds without screaming or cussing. already today, on christmas, he called me a G D f***ing b****. everything was fine until he got home today. as soon as he got here, he opened his presents & stared pitching a fit b/c it wasnt what he wanted. he never said thank you or anything. he claims to be atheist yet still expects to get presents for christmas & that alone bothers me... he didnt used to be like this, what can i do to turn things around?

its not a phase because i have never in my life met someone so awful, i hate to say it about my own brother but its true. he's the most selfish, ungrateful brat i know. he does really bad in school & has gotten suspended more times than i can count. it's really pathetic. he's stuck up or anything, & our family isnt what you'd call wealthy, not even middle class so it's not that. he gets away with everything though, and i cant stand being anywhere near him

he's NOT stuck up, sorry, typo

i dont live with my parents, its my great great aunt & she's too old to do anything

its hard to not let him affect me, if i say the smallest thing to make him mad he goes off. he's not normal, a couple years ago he and his friend were hanging out at my house. he thought it would be funny to shoot me with a pellet gun, & so he did, he never got in trouble or anything. every is afraid of him because he's so big, and he's really violent.

yeah i know i dont know any of you and it sounds hypocritical, for the person who made a comment about that, but thats not the same as staying up all night & keeping eveyone up because youre on the phone with other people & telling them where you live and lying about your age and everything, just wanted to clarify that

PLEASE READ DETAILS...

i cant talk to my parents, i havent even seen my mom in a year & a half & i havent seen my dad in about 6. its really personal, but we grew up basically taking care of ourselves, my mom would leave us here alone most of the time & when she was here, she'd be high on coke or pot or whatever else she did. its kinda awkward finding things like surrenges & beer bottles in your parents closet after they move out... my dad was the only one who would ever watch us or anything & he had to work full time so that wasnt often. they would fight a lot & both were in & out of jail for as long as i can remember. i was the result of an affair my dad had with my mom & its always bugged me & so things havent exactly been easy, but why am i not the same way he is?

i dont understand what went wrong with him, he used to be a happy kid

and i'm 17 btw

he's not my step brother, he was at his friends house

Answer 1

Its your parents job to discipline your brother
talk to them

Answer 2

Sounds like your brother is being influenced by some bad people, he definitely needs some serious help, unfortunately it is going to end up being provided by the system, I am talking legal system, if he continues on the path he has chosen, plan on him entering the system very shortly, once they declare you an uncontrollable child, the court becomes your new mom and dad, they don't play very well, he may think that he is bigger and tougher than everyone right now, but he has some real surprises coming his way, jail has a tendency to bring the little boy back out for everyone to see, problem comes when all the others he will be in jail with start to like the little boy,

Answer 3

Have you discussed this with your parents or the people supposedly taking care of him? The foul language is something he's heard and learned, and even that phrase is not allowed on TV. He had to learn it somewhere.

Have they taken him to see a child psychologist, or family physician, for that matter? Maybe there's something physical causing this that needs attention.

Since he was never like this before, is it possible something traumatic happened? Where has he been? I hate to think of it, but sexual abuse can scar a child forever. It bothers me that he goes to "his friend's dad's house." Maybe something is not right there and could be the reason his friend is still a friend. They may have something in common. I hope not.

Do speak with someone, maybe even his school counselor, and tell them everything. If you are still in school, talk to your own counselor. Those people do communicate with each other. Perhaps the school has been sending notices home about him, but obviously they are not acted upon.

Answer 4

Was he shy or outgoing as a little boy. He might be going through something. I have a friend that is hipper all the time when he is around anyone. He seams to get into trouble when he is around his so called friends. It might be he was just not around other kids when he was very little. He just does not know how to act around his so called friends. He has his Special Olympics friends, but besides that he does not have hardly any friends. He always has to be the center of everybody. Like, he will push others to be in the middle of things. I don't know the whole story. But if he keeps on the same path he is on now. He will die alone.

Answer 5

It sounds as if your brother is having some serious problems, which don't only stem at home but seem to extend to other aspects of this life, like school. It's important that you speak with your parents about what's going on. If you can't think of the words, show them this note that you just wrote. Your parents need to understand that your brother's behaviour must be addressed. It's not healthy for him (to be so angry) or your family (to deal with his anger).

You can call the school for support. Maybe your brother needs to talk to someone who isn't in the family about what's going on in his life, because his behaviour sounds like a cry for help. There are school social workers, your folks may want to set that up with the school admin. Hang in there. Don't give up on getting him the support he needs. Most likely if he's acting this way..he doesn't much like himself either right now.

Answer 6

You are a sibling just as your brother, where are your parents? You didn't say how old you are but if my brother would have said the things you said yours said to you, 14, or not, it would had been on. While this is your problem, it really isn't, it is your parents, they are the ones who are responsible for this individual. I say try to have a heart to heart with your parents and if that doesn't work, and you are old enough to be on your own, I say seek higher ground, because if he is acting like this now, the later teens are only going to get worse unless the proper intervention is taken. Despite it all, Merry Christmas and God Bless.

Answer 7

He is 14, and now completing its boyhood and enetering to a age where he needs the companion . He will be calm with the girl friend . Make him understand or persuade him that you are a grown man now , and intended to behave like an elderly person. Ask him to shop something for the family . Give some work to him in the house to understand responsibilit and behavioural science

Answer 8

Wow why do parents expect children to put up with this he is clearly out of order i would have told him to live on the streets for a couple of nights or to never expect a present again and if he swore at me i'd make him eat some soap!
But since parents are pushovers now, ignore him lock him out fo your room stay away from him don't talk to him or respond to him if you say anything he will turn it into an argument. If he ever does something out of order either go to your room lock it and turn on some music or if its safe and your old enough go for a short walk down the garden or down the block and back. If i was you i would tell my parents they can't expect me to put up with such a split inconsiderate brat and that i won't (disclaimer: i am not responsible for what happens if you actually tell them that)

Answer 9

He's a product of our generation in which cussing and acting tough are the cool things to do. Trust me when I say he wants people to like him and not getting attention hurts him more than anything you can say to him.

If your parents won't do anything about it then my advise for you is next time he curses at you or screams at you or demeans you in any way is to simply sigh and shake your head then proceed to ignore him. Try not to make it seem like you're thinking you're better than him. The idea is to let him see that he's hurting you, but you aren't going to play his game. If he responds the way I think he'll get mad but all you have to do is walk away. If you respond with anger it can support his behavior oddly enough.

Don't give up on him, but if you think he might hurt you then you need to get away as fast as you can.

Answer 10

wow i dont know what the problem is! he really needs to be straightened out. i think u and ur parents should sit down and have a talk with him. explain how he makes u guys feel and what he is doing to the family ....just make him feel guilty and hopefully it will work. but be nice about it dont yell at him remain talking calmly even if he flips out. not to be rude but i would check and make sure he isnt doing any kind of drug cuz that can alter a persons personality and mood

Answer 11

For some of this, it is just normal 14 year old boy. By the way the talking to people he doesn't know, you are asking for help on yahoo answers. It is possible that he needs counseling to handle pent up anger issues. Your parents need to wake up and get him some help. My brothers used to call me all kinds of things, but way back then swearing was not allowed so it didn't get to the point yours did.