When a family gathering happens, everyone talks about how they bought this, we went on this trip or how much $$$$ they spend. I don't make much $$ only enough to pay the bills with nothing left over to do any fun. They ask me what I have done and my reply is i work all the time just to pay the bills. They end up snubbing me off, I end up leaving and going home in tears. I feel i can't show up unless i have a million dollar check to throw on the table to join the conversation.
2007-12-25 06:42:12 · 25 answers · asked by shandy1212 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Only you are in controll of your destiny.
2007-12-25 06:50:18 · answer #1 · answered by ValleyR 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have no reason to feel badly. You are a responsible person who works and pays her bills. Since you know this is going to happen have an answer ready when they ask you what you have done. I'm sure you have done something interesting. What do you like to do? How do you spend your time after work? You don't have to spend a lot of money to have 'done' something.
Or another way to handle is to start asking other people questions. Like what do they think about ............. Or did they see that special on TV? Or are they going to.............? Maybe you can get them started talking about something else than the dollars they have spent.
That should make the gathering much more interesting for everyone.
2007-12-25 14:53:47 · answer #2 · answered by Joan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time you are asked, your reply should be, "I helped a little old man across the street the other day. I bought lunch for a homeless person. I served lunch at the mission. I have lived one day at a time and I have stopped and smelled the roses. I have enjoyed the small things in life, which usually turn out to be the best things in life. And you?"
Or you could just flat out lie and shut them all up by saying, "I was invited by my friend Starla to brunch with the Queen at the Kentucky Derby, I sailed the three of the seven seas with Johnny Depp (or Orlando Bloom or anyone you prefer), I drove the getaway car for George Clooney and Brad Pitt when they robbed the Bellagio and this time it was not for a movie. That was all I could fit into my busy schedule this year other than my cover-up job for the Secret Service."
Good luck!
2007-12-25 15:00:37 · answer #3 · answered by iloveagoatee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to me. It's not about the money. If that's all your family has to do is talk about all they make or spend then they're pretty shallow people. Last night on Christmas Eve my wife and I stood outside and looked at Mars up near the full moon. It never cost a dime. But, in 60 years on this earth I've never seen it (Mars) like it was last night. My wife enjoyed it, too. Today we are having a family gathering.One of my daughters and her husband make average wages. The other couple make a fortune. Not a word will be said about money. You, too, can do a million things without money. Neat things. Camping, walks, time with kids, time with old folks. You'll do okay. The real riches of this earth aren't for sale for any amount of money. But you can have them if you want them. They're free. Happy Xmas! Ozzie.
2007-12-25 14:52:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some times people like to do that just to make others feel bad. It doesn't seem matter if they are family or not. It's very inconsiderate of them. Shame on them. Next time their conversations take a turn to the greedy side......just come right out and ask them if it makes them feel better about themselves to brag about what they have and what they have bought??? Tell them they all sound so self-centered and egotistical. That should stop them in their tracks.
Maybe if you secretly taped their conversations..... the next time you are together.....play it back to them sometime so they can hear how stupid they sound.
2007-12-25 14:48:57 · answer #5 · answered by lacrosselover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, people who feel the need to bring up money all the time are usually very UNHAPPY in general life.
Maybe their marriages are crumbling, or their kids are delinquent morons.
Maybe they are embezzling from their boss, or they're having an affair or being blackmailed!
Honey, there are things that you have that money can never buy....just think about that when these idiots are talking about their superficial financial issues.
Deep down, they probably envy your freedom, your independence, your wardrobe, your body, your eyes, your cute apartment....whatever.
Hold your head up, and be proud of yourself!
2007-12-25 14:48:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The next time they ask what you have been up to tell them the truth...
"When I have some down time, I spend it with those truly important to me. I am so lucky to have surrounded myself with people who know the true value of friendship and family"
If they ask if you have taken any trips lately...
"Although I plan on going to (insert destination spot) in the future, at this time in my life I find it more rewarding to learn about the different people and places in my community"
If they ask what purchases you have made recently...
"I find it petty to talk about material things. How do you feel about the AIDS epidemic in Africa?"
2007-12-25 14:49:43 · answer #7 · answered by elloel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear that your family functions are more fun for you. Family can be hard to get a long with at the best of times but I suppose when you have lesss in common with them there has to be an effort on their part as well to include you in the festivities. good luck this year 2008!
2007-12-25 14:47:35 · answer #8 · answered by daisyduck4007 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family can be the rudest because I think "they think" we will always be there.
the next time this happens, make sure you are caught up with the most recent news.
When they look at you for your information on what you do with your money, tell them you feed the homeless.
Then ask them are they current with the news? Or is their money the only thing they know?
I would put them in their places. then leave.
2007-12-25 14:49:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're walking away from family functions feeling down about yourself, there's a couple options to take:
A. Make sure that they are aware of how uncomfortable they have made you.
B. Skip the next couple family functions. Save yourself the time and hurt feelings.
Good luck with this.
2007-12-25 14:46:35 · answer #10 · answered by DDDiva 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just be like i'm making my way so i won't be in debt so that as i get older my retirement check will rack up while your paying of credit card bills for all the trips you took. you never know those trips could set them back or they could just eb lying and telling a story of what their friend did
2007-12-25 14:50:16 · answer #11 · answered by O.P.P!!!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋