well, here's the situation. my X bf (which is the father of my 11month old baby)got mad at me after he knew that he was not the first guy i had sex with. actually, he's not even my first bf! and he knows it. he wanted me to be honest so i told him that he was the 8 person i had slept with... is it really a big deal??? i mean, i was thinking that if i only knew that he'll came into my life and be the father of my kid, i shouldnt have slept with other guys...
just want to know what's your opinion on this...
2007-12-25 06:10:40 · 29 answers · asked by gOtHiC pRiNcEsS 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is why when someone asks how many or who I just say I don't kiss and tell , I would never ask and I do not want to know and when you do tell the truth about it , it comes back to haunt you , if this ever happens again just tell the guy it's none of his business the past is the past , and 7 guys before him is not that many , what kills me about a situation like this the ones they slept with before is not a problem just the ones we slept with are......
2007-12-25 06:23:20 · answer #1 · answered by Confused 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, there's probably two different reasons he may be mad.
1) because you mislead him at the beginning of your relationship (think real hard about this, you might have) in this case, all you can do is apologize but reassure him that if you could take back all those times you would.
or
2) he is just feeling jealous or maybe a little inadequate. maybe insecure about his skills, wondering how he measures up. in this case, let him know he is the best! and you wish you could have just met him first and again, let him know if you could take all the other times back, you would.
There's also another way this could go but I hope not.
hopefully, he's not feeling it's some sort of competition. I try never to date guys who have had less lovers than me, I feel like it leads to all the above feelings, plus cheating because they don't think its fair you have been with more people.
hopefully you have a good one, who's mind wouldn't go that route.
good luck!
Smoke Star
2007-12-25 14:21:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you Really should never have slept with anyone until marrige, thats not from a religious standing point but a good guidline to go by. It is awkward to hear girls tell us those things, I had a girlfriend once tell me that she had sex with 6 guys before. I feel it shows me a girl has no self-respect for herself and she doesn't know her own worth. I didn't like the fact that she slept with 6 guys before, but getting in further in the relationship true colors showed on her and i came to find that she had low self esteem and confidence.
2007-12-25 14:16:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Dont know why he's making it out to be a big deal, it would be if you lied but it sounds like he new before you two got together that youve slept with other guys. Shame he can't look at it from a positive angle - you've surely picked up some experience along the way, can only be a good thing.
2007-12-25 14:16:53 · answer #4 · answered by Gav 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
honey, who and how many people you have slept with, is no ones business but your own.
If he can't handle the simple fact that there was life before him, then he wasn't worth it anyway.
sex is a natural part of life and if he is that insecure about things, then the only big deal, its in his own head.
it's not an ownership issue, you are not his property, you are a healthy woman with healthy needs and that is not something to be ashamed of.
2007-12-25 15:26:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I;m afraid you've been caught by the old double standard. It is not cool for the woman to have had many partners. You have learned a valuable lesson, sometimes total honesty is not always best. Give him some time to process the information. If he is a man, he will come to terms and be back. If he does not make peace with your past, you are better off without him, because he is not mature.
2007-12-25 14:16:11 · answer #6 · answered by just me 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If both of are are mature then what is the big deal as long as the baby is well looked after. This is not archeology to dig up the past but akin to interior design to put the colour on and move forward........
2007-12-25 14:17:44 · answer #7 · answered by Karl 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't see what the problem is. I think in this day and age it's hard to find a lady who has not had a lover before. I say lady because I am a guy and looking for a lady. I have never had a girlfriend before, but the same goes for the guys as well.
2007-12-25 14:17:32 · answer #8 · answered by rrt7493 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No, it shouldn't matter. He's being a jerk. Guys can't expect every girl they come to to be a virgin. Or how would a girl get any fun before she finds the right one? Not to mention you usually find many "mr rights" before you find the one you stay with the rest of your life. And don't think that. You didn't do anything wrong at all by sleeping with other guys. That's your right. You were dating them, or maybe you weren't. but he certainly doesn't own you and never had a sign saying "she's mine get away". So chill! It'll be fine
2007-12-25 14:15:13 · answer #9 · answered by Heartbroken 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
U slept with 7 persons before him and u are asking what the big deal ? Oh My God, Gimme a break.
2007-12-25 14:15:39 · answer #10 · answered by Sam 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋