Just found out my girlfriend of 7 years has been cheating on me.?

Question

What should I do I feel so so gutted as if my lifes over. Why does it have to happen? I don't know wether to get the guy or just sit down and cry, my eyes well up with tears as I write this, I love her so much, she is my life. Weve had a few problems but I just want her back, I feel so upset. I'm a bloke and I'm coming on here telling you all I'm crying, silly I know but my hearts broken.

Thanks for all your concerns, truly thankyou. The worst part is having all these images in my mind that just won't go away. I do want to try and fix this, however if she has actually had sex I just don't know what i'll do, im filled with intense loss and rage at the moment, we'll see.........

Answer 1

Remember how you feel now, and decide that you don't want to go through it AGAIN. Once a cheater always a cheater and no matter what....You will always have this in your history. Not worth it trying to mend things

Move on now and deal with it. The depression will slow down when you start living again and find others to spend your time with.

Answer 2

I understand how devasted you feel. She has betrayed you and your trust. If she's been cheating on you it may be a sign of deeper issues within your relationship. It's hard to break away from people but if it's a matter of your feelings being destroyed, you should try to protect yourself by not seeing her anymore. Give it some space until you can think about it without crying. You feel like your life is over but I'm sure there are plenty more adventures for you to experience, perhaps better than time spent with her. Keep busy and don't let anyone take you for a fool. You may find 2008 to be a better year for you. Good luck.

Answer 3

You must be devastated :( I know how u feel though, my first boyfriend to whom I lost my virginity to was cheating on me too, it totally broke my heart, I can say I haven't been the same since. All we can do is try and move on, you deserve better, easy to say now but trust me u will feel better once you found someone that actually deserves you.

Don't make the mistake of getting back together 1 she doesn't deserve you, 2 it will never be the same as you have these thoughts and images in your head and 3 once a cheater always a cheater, go your separate ways now before she hurts you again.

Hope you feel better soon and find happiness in a relationship again :)

Answer 4

Revenge is not the way. I'm afraid it's goona be tough, but cut yourself loose. She will cheat again, trust me, once it's been done it's easier to keep on cheating again and again. There are plenty more fish in the sea. I know that sounds trite, but if I can find a new fish after 20years of marriage (the last 5 of which were very unhappy) then you can too. A broken heart may seem like it ill never mnd...but it does. Good luck mate

Answer 5

Sorry dude, but it's not the guys fault (unless he was a friend of yours) You can't blame a guy for being attracted to your gf, you were. Its her fault not his, he had no obligation to you, she did. You can't blame a guy for trying.
But I'll tell you this, once someone has cheated on you it will never be the same. Ever. You can forgive, but you can't forget and because the memory of that infidelity will always be there, the trust will never be there again. So it's better to just cut your losses. I know that seems hard to do right now, but you are not getting any younger and you will just be wasting time trying to fix something that can never be fixed again.
She ruined it
leave the guy alone, if anything, warn him.

Answer 6

Mark, I know tour pain. But you have to cowboy up. This sad thing happens and we got to move on. If it's in the cards, you may get her back. if not you WILL find another. I know that it hurts right nowbut in time, it goes away,at least to a point we can tolerate. I was quite amazed at what came my way. I'm better off now than I was then. First one was 19 years and I'm still in the second for 12 years. Good luck, and it will come.

Answer 7

First, you need to regain your composure. If you need to cry then by all means do so. Retaliation is not the answer. You will make yourself look as foolish as her.

Second, talk to her in a calm and rational manner. Is there something wrong with the relationship that she has been trying to tell you but you have not picked up on? Is she ready to move on? Is she not the woman you thought she was? Is it time for YOU to move on?

Third, make a plan for the future. Do you make up and move on? Do you seek counseling? Do you say "screw you" and dump her?

These are questions that you have to ask yourself first. Once you regain your composure and are thinking clearly can you make a rational decision. Just remember, ultimately YOU make the FINAL decision. Follow your heart... it has never lead you wrong before.

Answer 8

First, I am so sorry for your breakup. Second, you only want to go after the guy because she left you. Honestly.. ask yourself this ? If you go and beat the hell out of him, or start an argument, do you really think she will come back? Probably not. I know it's hard, but the only thing you can do is tell her how you feel about wanting her back, or move on. I wish you the best. It's up to her now.

Answer 9

This is why you NEVER let a person become your life because if they hurt you its like your life is about to end. So make a note of that... but, to her the cheating wouldnt be that big of a deal. Maybe she was just bored... If you really like her you should sit down and talk to her. If she loves you she will sit down and discuss this. But tell her that you love her so much and would be willing to make any changes to fulfill her needs in order to keep her.

But remember, she did cheat on you... so dont let her off too easy.

Answer 10

I'm so very sorry for u. I hope u get better. U will make it thru. A broken heart takes awhile to heal. This has never happened to me. But my grandma died and she was very close to me and my mother. It took me awhile to heal but i got thru. Is this girl wanting to get back together? If not u should move on. I mean show her that she didnt get to u. When u find a new beautiful girl who loves u ur old gf will feel sorry and u will be happy. I dont think u should get back with her. She may cheat again and u dont want to get hurt again do u. I would let it go and move on with life. Life is filled with sadness. U just gotta know how to handle it. It'll get better.