If you say no to a guy but you liked the guy before he asked as a person. Would you be willing to be friends afterwards if he is ok with your no?
2007-12-25 00:18:20 · 10 answers · asked by ken b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This has happened to me lots of times... And I've always tried to maintain our friendship after they tell me they want something more. If I loved him as a friend before, I would still love him just as much and sure would not give up his friendship just based on him asking me out!
The only thing is, I absolutely HATE hurting people... And I've been accused of leading men on because I'm a naturally flirty and playful person. After being in this situation several times and finding that most guys don't actually accept it/get it through their heads when you tell them you're just friends -- even if they claim to be okay with it -- I now immediately become wary the moment I find out there's any romantic interest there.
Too many times I've had the talk with a guy friend, explaining that I just don't feel that way toward them... And then have them continue to openly and actively crush on me (in spite of making sure I don't do anything that could make him think I've changed my mind), which ends up creating all sorts of problems, including jealousy over other guys, repeatedly hurt feelings (if you HONESTLY understand and accept her response, then it shouldn't be a problem, but most guys don't seem to get it, and keep getting their hopes up, then feeling rejected all over again), and me being paranoid that I'm going to hurt him, etc.
So yes, I'm more than willing to stay friends! I just have learned that, with some guys, it's safest to put a bit of distance there for awhile, even though I hate it. I just can't stand hurting people. : /
2007-12-25 01:18:52 · answer #1 · answered by Cycloppety-Clops 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whats with all this 'asking' i keep hearing about, i don't understand it. Every sexual relationship ive had, its never been about asking, its just happened because we both knew we were attracted via body language and indirect signals. If youve gotta ask, then you really don't get it.
And as for being friends, thats another thing that happens naturally, its not like your going to say 'will you be my friend?' and then they have to be your friend for the rest of their life. It doesnt happen that way. I mean, it might in the short term, and you might get a yes out of mercy, but if you like each other then you'll naturally just spend time together. Its a pretty immature view point your asking the question from.
2007-12-25 00:24:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
so like if your jusst friends is like kissin ok, or maybe a little more than kissin as long as you both know its just cause you need it right now but you will be friend only in the morning.
2007-12-25 00:30:53 · answer #3 · answered by crazzijimsmith 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. I'd like to think I could be comfortable around him without worrying or the time about whether or not Im sending him the wrong signals. :)
2007-12-25 02:50:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah sure,but i think i would have felt awkward while talking to him.But everything would be fine if he starts behaving with me in the way he behaves with his other friends.
2007-12-25 00:37:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course.
2007-12-25 00:21:04 · answer #6 · answered by darbygirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure unless he seemed he was in love with me so, I would make it clear that our friendship won't lead to something else
2007-12-25 00:24:02 · answer #7 · answered by lovely girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course... some of us are just meant to be friends!!!! not everyone is my soulmate... but everyone is a friend
2007-12-25 00:41:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah! So long as it's not awkward.
2007-12-25 00:22:24 · answer #9 · answered by Ellie. Love music, hate racism. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not, there's no point on not being his friend.
2007-12-25 00:37:25 · answer #10 · answered by Patsy ♥♥♥ Rose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋