Why do i feel my life is being controlled and people are being influenced to socially reject me ?

Question

and to stay away from me ?

i say this because something very weird is happening to me.

i think people are being told to stay away from me, wide berth me.

im a borderline personality disorder sufferer, im 30 years old, i live alone in a one bedroom flat on sickness benifit...ive had a very hard life....sexual abuse..bullying...abuse...assaults.

i have a very low self esteem because of this, always have done...im clingy to...struggle to form relationships with people...feel unworthy. dont no how to talk....reciprocate with people.
due to my traumatic life, ive never made a single friend in life...never had a partner or been in a relationship, ever.

i want to know since ive had the internet, for 2 years, ive met a handful of people on myspace...on yahoo answers...on dating sites...added them to my messenger...msn or yahoo....i talk with them for a couple of weeks...then i dont hear from them again....they erase them selves or delete me...stop talking to me...or appear permenantly

offline to me...

everybody is seeming to reject me.....i try not to appear desperate
for contact, even though iam.

then its not long before they dont contact me again.

i think theres a conspiracy and people are being influenced to socially reject me

or theres a stigma around about me...spread by other people- that im not aware of.

thats causing people to reject and stay away from me.

what does anyone think ?

Brutal Honesty what are you talking about - your the only peverse person i see you pr1ck

Answer 1

Fantome' I know I am taking a risk here in answering you that my answer will hurt your feelings but you have asked why this is happening and you know I will always tell the truth as I see it. I don't wish to hurt your feelings but I truly believe if you have any chance of getting a life you must be strong enough to face the truth about yourself. I suspect these people you have met initially respond to you out of the desire to help you and provide sympathy. Very quickly (because of your neediness & clinginess the realisation that you place a huge emotional burden on them in having to deal with you. They can't handle it. They are not trained to deal with your issues. Most relationships are self serving with both parties getting 'something'. Because you refuse to take responsibility for yourself and your own needs you attempt to take more than your fair share from the interraction. As I have said before I get frustrated with you - I see people really caring for your situation and you have poo pooed their attempts to help (hurt their feelings) and I've seen you describe desires of hurting people physically. Think about it WHY would anyone want to be hurt in the process of trying to help you? Why should anyone be that self destructive? Why would anyone want to be your friend if there is a risk you will turn on them at any minute?
I don't believe there is any conspiracy against you, but I do think people avoid you because they perceive you as being a threat. People have the right to be safe and protect themselves. This is the reason you need to get into behavioural therapy so that you can face up to these behavioural issues and modify or learn new helpful behaviours that attract people to you where you actually have something to give back. I see that you comprehend certain concepts but fail to apply them to yourself. I feel you think you are above everyone else and that your needs take priority over the rights and needs of others. This is not how the world works - people like to be treated fairly & evenly. You have to do your fair share of the effort. People are quite cabable of thinking for themselves and makeing decisions for themselves. There is no conspiracy.

Answer 2

Personally, I think you need to turn off your computer and stop looking for relationships online. Get out of that flat and go find yourself some 'real' friends, be it in a church group, singles clubs, etc.

Answer 3

You might be thinking too much about your situation, most online "friends" tend to be flaky and unreal. You shouldn't even care what they think, your too good for that..to care what they think of you. They don't even know you.
Make friends that you can see, talk to, laugh with. The connections you form with real people, whether its for a long time or 5 minutes, is real, and thats worth it.

Care what you think of yourself first, not what anyone else does.

Answer 4

Besides, there is a social stigmata on you, your 30, living alone, most people are told to stay clear of you. It isn't personal because of you, but your group is known to get into some pretty perverse crap. That aside, its a lonely, pride driven society.....