want to be reminded why its great to be a guy?

Question

Some reasons that it's great to be a guy:

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
Movie nudity is virtually always female.
A 5-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.
Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
You can open all your own jars.
Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained weight.
Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every picture of somebody crying.
All your orgasms are real.
You don't have to lug a bag of useless stuff around everywhere you go.
You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
Your last name stays put.
You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.
Sex means never worrying about your reputation. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry.
You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.
If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.
You can write your name in the snow.
Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
Flowers fix everything.
You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.
You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.
You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours ! without ever thinking, "He must be mad at me."
The world! is your urinal.
Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
One mood, all the time.
You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one's just too dirty.
You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you're wearing.
Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75.
You don't care if someone's talking about you behind your back.
With 400 million sperm cells per shot, you could double the Earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
You don't mooch off others' desserts.
If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
The remote control is yours and yours alone.
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
Bachelor parties whomp butt over bridal showers.
You have a normal and healt! hy relationship with your mother.
You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your other friends that you've changed.
Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase, "screw it."
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies.
Your pals can be trusted to never trap you with, "So... notice anything different?"


Things that suck about being a guy:

The Ferrari 550 Maranello lists for over $200,000.
External genitalia are vulnerable to knees and fastballs.
Even if you get your head caught in an industrial wood chipper, you're not allowed to cry.
Ribbed for her pleasure -- not yours.
You have to wear ties.
You can't flirt your way out of a ja! m.
"Women and children first."

Answer 1

That was funny as hell! The only comments are if I go outside with my shirt off, it'll scare the neighbors away and decrease the property value. That, and I can turn the condom inside out for my own pleasure. Also, the hairy butt comment... what if you own a dog?

Answer 2

Hey J-Unit thats mostly spot on but FYI

Hairy buts are not exclusive to men e.g. my ex wife!

Hair cuts can be a rip off I have 30% less hair but still pay full price

The good news is I am a Dirty old man & boy it's great i can get away with heaps!

Answer 3

That was long but I have to agree with you. It seems to be great to be a man but I rather still be a women.

Answer 4

Yeah. Guys have more freedom in terms of the parts of the body to be covered,etc. But they have much greater responsibilties than females do.

Answer 5

Well. I didn't actually read all of it. But, whatever you turn out to be, (MALE OR FEMALE) stay yourself. Trust me. You really won't like to be some1 else your not. It's nice to be a girl too you know.

Answer 6

Good ones! Long but funny and true! 10!

Answer 7

Do you have a Womens list? This is as funny as heck.

Answer 8

hahahaha
OMG!!!!! that some stuff ive never even tought of.
Hilarious.

Answer 9

I didnt need another reason to hate men. lol

Answer 10

fwef23e