I almost didn't let them over yesterday, but I was lenient, since it's the holidays. They just figure they can take advantage of me & dog over me. They were whispering about me & laughing & violating my house rules. I'm 24, & they're 34 & 28. They're lucky I let them in & fed them. They know that smacking loud on food triggers off an anxiety attack & a hospital trip. When I put on my earplugs, they started laughing & then lied, saying they were laughing @ something else. Why do people choose ME to pick on? Why can't they find their entertainment & kicks somewhere else? Get your laughs from a comedy show. Don't mentally torture a mentally disabled person. They also stole my music CD's. 1 of them showed up with his girlfriend without letting me know in advance, KNOWING I HATE that girl! I tried to ask for advice on here, but answerers said my brothers are right, & how I deserve to be bullied in MY house. I'd hate to have to be unnecessarily hospitalized for the holidays. I'm very angry.
2007-12-24 17:26:31 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have trouble & fear of assertiveness. How can I be assertive without being scared? When I'm assertive, they get physical with me. When I assertively told my brother not to smack on his food, he looked @ me like I was crazy & continued. I was too afraid to put him out my house because they would've gotten violent with me, & my whole life & career would've been ruined by me being arrested because of an argument that didn't even have to be.
2 weeks ago my other brother punched me & tried to call the cops on me because I didn't let him use my computer to hack my passwords & spam people, but earlier this week, my twin sister SUPPOSEDLY stabbed him & tazered him, & he didn't do her a DAMN thing! I wasn't violent with him at all.
2007-12-24 17:32:38 · update #1
Refuse to be around these people; they aren't safe for you or anyone else. They know how to push your buttons and your life will be miserable as long as you put up with this. Report any abuse, and get a restraining order if you have to.
I have nothing to do with my 2 brothers because of abuse, and my life is wonderful with them out of my life. Each time they were around, memories flooded my peace.
You won't win with this one, because family can always push your buttons. Learning to be assertive will help, but you need to be in a group or in some counseling to learn how to handle this situation.
Please, get them out of your life. Get some friends and call them family. Your family as it is is very destructive. My friends are my family, and I am so blessed. .
2007-12-24 17:36:34 · answer #1 · answered by dutchlady 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to be angry. I can logically demolish Anyone who claims otherwise.
You are being treated like a doormat. Walked all over. I know you probably love them. That's probably why you would even open the door. Thieves steal. Abusers abuse. It may be hard, but I would call them, or email if that is easier, and tell them that you want to deal with them, but you will not accept any more abuse. It is not like they don't realize your problems. You deserve respect and love. You deserve respect and love. F**** anything else. F*** that.
I'm not saying you don't have problems. Inside, we all know that we have a boat-load of them. What I'm saying is this- We all have boundries. Whatever those boundries may be, reasonable to others or not, that is what they are- Boundries. Lines in the sand that You Do Not Cross. If someone does, they do not respect them. Ok, so then you tell them. (comprehensively). If they still do not respect them, you Cannot deal with them. If you let people cross your boundries, and keep dealing with them, you are almost as guilty as them.
You may be the craziest, ugliest, tempermental person in the world. But they still chose to deal with you. They still chose to steal from you. THEY chose to make you feel like crap.
In my opinion though, there is a difference between someone not telling you that they are going to bring someone over to your house that you don't like, and stealing your property. These are the people that you should have the most security with, not the least.
Your brothers are not right. I could sit here and say irrelevant things. For example, I could say that I have a 170 IQ, and I see no logic behind anyone saying 'your brothers are right'.
But because people are smart, or stuiped, or crazy, or sane, does not make their argument right or wrong.
People have many centers.. some have money, some have work, some have religion, some have possessions.. etc. etc.. as centers. But those that have principal centers(the only center not based on exterior things) cannot possibly deny the dominance, as a principal, of human life (and frailty). Your brothers denyed those principals. Do not accept that. The responsibility is on them- not you. You are as valuable as the (current) president. In my book, probably more.
Happy holidays
2007-12-25 01:54:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dude ur brothers can't do that to u..they have to get there on life nd leave u alone.If u have to u need to get a restraining order on them,even though they are ur flesh and blood.I don't see how u put up with this..get the cops involved nd maybe they'll get the picture then.......I hope i helped nd i hope u take my idea in consideration...
2007-12-25 02:49:17 · answer #3 · answered by shanteria13 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean to be rude, but it sounds like you ALL need some help. It's Christmas, be good to each other. Siblings tease and pick on each other until they are old and gray. I'm 26 with a family of my own, and my brothers and I still carry on like we're kids. It sounds like you take it all way too serioulsy, and maybe you need to lighten up. Once you can do that, maybe the relentless teasing will lighten up as well. They only do it because they know it gets to you. Merry Christmas!
2007-12-25 02:34:15 · answer #4 · answered by munkees81 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, hon, maybe it's time to get some help with this issue? I have PTSD and bipolar disorder, and i have spent literally YEARS working on issues and finding the root causes of anxieties, knee-jerk reactions to things in life, etc.
Sometimes it's our best bet to take care of ourselves, and put for the effort it takes to get help....
Your brothers are obviously insensitive. Why did you let them in the door when they came over the last time? Lock it and pretend you're not home.
2007-12-25 01:32:46 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Tell them you are leaving town for the Holiday and then go to a movie in anoter city. Get restrainig orders on both of them, they are harmful to you and othrs in their present additude. DO NOT STAY HOME!
2007-12-25 01:49:05 · answer #6 · answered by Marcus R. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lock your doors, pull the shades, hide your car. They'll think you're gone.
2007-12-25 01:31:05 · answer #7 · answered by Angelique 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell them you're sick (stomach ailments always work) and can't see them. It's not the truth but at least you won't have to see them.
2007-12-25 01:58:07 · answer #8 · answered by shrinkydinkheart 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell em how you feel. then, if they still come, lock your doors, turn off all the lights, anything to give them the impression that you arent home.
2007-12-25 01:32:42 · answer #9 · answered by Johnny 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell them you have the flu bug...you have lice...you lost all control in your feet and don't want to be responsible if you kick them in a**...tell them you don't want them there..and if you must then call the cops...
2007-12-25 01:36:10 · answer #10 · answered by ~Jenny~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋