I turn and Act like a Kid when talk to my parents..is this common with depresed Shy people ?

Question

Im 28 male but i'm shy(very).. so at work or whatever i can act like adult but with my parents i can't cause maybe because i was mentally scared as a child being shy and my parents always getting mad cause i was shy and they wanted me to be outgoing talkative but i never was ...so i feel shy t o act like an adult with them.

I know many of yu talkative confident people dont have this but how about other fellow shys?

im even scared to look at my father in the eye

Answer 1

I think you need to get out of your parents house, if you are still living there (I hope not!). There is a really toxic behavior pattern going on there - I think that your parents are very perfectionist and hyper-critical and demanding, and you are consequently very traumatized and stunted in their presence. Run, run, and limit your time with them!

Answer 2

Confidence is something you can learn. Even with parents. Your parents represent authority. They were there when you were a child and they raised you. They wanted you to be less shy but they didn't know how to teach you how to do that. They also didn't know how to handle their frustration at not knowing how to help you so they got angry. Their anger caused fear in you.

Start slowly and start with the little things. What would happen if you looked your father in the eye? Try it and see. Try being the first person to say hello when you see them. Be the one to start a conversation with your parents. If you find that you disagree with something they say or do, give yourself permission to have your own opinion. You don't have to argue just state that you disagree. See what happens. If one of them gets upset that you don't agree with them, explain that it's OK for you to have differing opinions.

Push past your comfort zone and do one thing each day that scares you. By accomplishing the little things one at a time you'll start to build your self confidence. I used to be painfully shy. When I was, it was because I was so worried about what other people thought of me. I never felt like I was good enough. I never thought anyone could possibly be interested in me as a friend or as a girlfriend. I never thought I was as good as my siblings. I eventually came to realize that everyone else is so wrapped up in worrying about themselves that I was the last thing on their mind. By trying the little things, by pushing past my comfort zone, I eventually came to realize that I'm pretty special and I have a right to be exactly who I am. The same is true for you. You are pretty special and by pushing yourself to try the little things you'll eventually come to appreciate your specialness. Baby steps. Happy Holidays.

Answer 3

This is a common problem. I am also an introvert (prefer introvert over shy) and the key to understanding this is understanding yourself. Be comfortable with yourself and what you have to offer, if your parents can't deal, then limit your exposure to them. I know every time I talk to my dad, he barely listens and starts talking about something else...I don't expect anything else anymore. be realistic in what you expect of them, you cant teach them new tricks. oh, and read this book-- it'll totally help ya out. Good luck!

Answer 4

thats really weird because i do the exact same thing. I act a whole lot younger around my parents but at work i act a lot more mature.