As parents, when is it ok to stop lying to your kids and tell them the truth about Santa?

Question

Just curious because when I have kids I'd like to know when it is ok to lie to their faces and when it isn't.

If I ever do have kids I'll love them enough to not lie to them like that. When I figured out that Santa wasn't real i wasn't a happy camper. I was upset that my mom lied to me all those years. Why would I do that same thing to my children? This is just my opinion though. They are your kids say whatever you want to them,

single dad no wonder your single lol.

mjoy thanks for giving a really vague answer that well...doesn't answer the question at all.

Santa isn't in everyone.. this isn't the holy spirit I'm talking about, for all you Christians. He's a fictional fat man in a red suit.

not a bad answer at all, lovely.

Answer 1

I think there is a middle ground. We don't "celebrate" santa, and he doesn't "leave presents at our house" but we haven't told our son there isn't a santa. Our son has heard the name now and then from other family members and on TV, and can identify him in a picture, but as far as our son is concerned he is about as real as Dora or Blue....something cool to hear about, maybe watch on TV at grandma's, but he doesn't really DO anything because he's not a person like mommy and daddy.

We'll never lie to our son about santa-when he asks we plan on telling him from a historical viewpoint the real story of St. Nick-but we don't see the point in telling him there is no santa...he'll just end up telling someone else's child that there is no santa and breaking their hearts and, in our opinion, if kids have to hear about santa being a lie they should hear it from the mouths that told them the lie.

Answer 2

I don't plan on making up Santa, but I also don't see telling kids Santa is alive as straight out lying. My family always taught my siblings and I that Christmas was a holiday that was about family and sharing and doing stuff for others. It was more a celebration of get togethers than it was an event of Santa and presents. I don't ever actually recall believing in Santa Claus, though my parents never outright said he was or wasn't real. I always knew the presents under the tree were from my mom and dad or other relatives. Sometimes then mark one from Santa, but I knew it was my parents.

My daughter is 2 months old, and my husband recently had the "how to handle Santa" talk. We've decided to treat it as my parents did with me. We won't come outright and say "Santa isn't real" unless she asks. When she does ask, we'll say that Santa is a symbol of the holiday season that promotes sharing and joy. I think having my daughter know the gifts come from mommy and daddy will give her more of an appreciation for the time and effort we put forth. At least thats what it did for me.

Answer 3

Easy explain who santa really is, the people who donate to charity like toys for tots or the Salvation Army. the people who help others in need. Explain that some kids believe santa is a person who lives in the north pole but in reality he is every single person in this world every time they help someone.

Answer 4

Good question! I guess you never felt the wonder of Christmas. It was without a doubt one of the best feelings in my life, I don't think parents should go there unless pinned down when the child is finding out on their own and becomes confused. It is something that should last as long as possible (not longer then say 7-8yrs) Because until then anything is possible. I wish I could feel that feeling again!

Answer 5

What about not lying at all and tell them that christmas is about Jesus' birthday and not about the fat man with the beard who businesses love so much (because of the money they make with all this gift exchanging and everything) santa claus or the three wise men or anybody else =D

Answer 6

I think it's best to tell the children the truth. It sounds like you do too. My x-wife's parents never lied to her about Santa Claus and it never caused her any problems that I know of.

I'm 64 y/o and I still remember how bad I felt and how ashamed of my parents I felt when I learned that they lied to me about Santa Claus.

Answer 7

I'm just going to let them figure it out for themselves...if they're 16 and still believe,then I will flat out tell them...but other than that, santa is real.

Answer 8

I would have to say let them believe as long as they can. Don't cut that part of their childhood short. Allow them to believe in something as wonderful and beautiful as Santa.

I would say the right time is when they are being picked on for their beliefs. Allow them this simple and little wonder of life as along as you can stand to see the amazement and wonder in their eyes.

now that is said, it is great to have them believe as long as you get them to. It is a great thing to have them believe in Santa. It takes you off the hook for a lot of things, ad it is a good tool to use to help keep them in line to. You see they know they can win the hearts of us parents, but they also know it is harder to sway a old guy who lives so far away.

Answer 9

you should always tell them the truth. my parents told me very young that he wasn't real and i turned out alright.i mean seriously if you lie to them, how can they believe you about anything else, like god and sex? its a realy big disappointment and they get mad at you (some of them), cuz you've made them look like a fool all these years. its one thing to lie about something small, but another thing to lie about something realy big consistantly year after year. i asked a question similar to this and a lot of people said they were let down when they found out he wasn't real and wondered why they lied to them.

Answer 10

Or why Santa gave your friend a Laptop computer and you only got clothes and shoes and a bike