I was with this girl for 1.5 years, we were really good together and everything was fine til she moved like 60 miles away. We saw each other often and it was still working well, but one day she calls and dumps me out of the blue. Right away, literally, she is seeing another guy, so obviously she met him while she was still with me and did it all behind my back, and they're going out a week or two later. She says she never cheated, but she lied often about anything and everything, and i have no idea what actually went on behind my back, if they did anything sexual or not. I ask this because now, after a few months, she is contacting me again, telling me how she misses us, and thinks about us and our memories and hinting she may want to try it again. Before I even consider this, should I write her off as a cheater/player? Maybe i'm crazy, but i'm not so sure i wouldn't give her another chance, but i generally have zero tolerance for cheating. What do you think?
2007-12-24 16:09:57 · 30 answers · asked by Jack B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you should forget about her. She probably just broke up with this guy, and is using you as her bounce-back man.
2007-12-24 16:13:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
I think this means the other guy dumped her. Do you see where I am going with this? Meaning, as in, she really hates to be alone, so she "arranged" for your replacement, dumped you - and now that the "replacement" hasn't worked out, she figures she should go back to you. I guess the big question is, not did she "cheat" - but what part of the "us", exactly, did she miss? The, "lying often about anything and everything" part, whenever it is convenient for her?
See, I wouldn't say it has as much to do with "cheating", so much as the fact that I can't see how you'd ever be able to trust her, period. It is not to say that couples can't get past an incident of cheating, but if the person who cheated isn't both (a) completely open and upfront about what happened (meaning, no hiding behind lies - which are another form of cheating) , and (b) contrite about it and ready to do what it takes to win back your trust, there isn't really a prayer of having a truly healthy, whole relationship back, IMO. You may still feel that it is something you need to try, of course, regardless of what anyone else says, and that is your choice. At very least, you would be going into it with your eyes open. Good luck, whatever you choose.
2007-12-25 00:23:14 · answer #2 · answered by eldots53 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I'm going to go with no, she didn't cheat. She ended things with you before letting anything happen with the new guy. Fine, not a cheater.
Still, "she lied often about anything & everything"?, she lives 60 miles away & clearly you don't trust her. Even without her cheating it doesn't sound right for you.
People do make mistakes, if she had a history of honesty with you I'd say give her another chance, but she doesn't.
You deserve better. Try zero tolerance for dishonesty & disrespect & find someone who will treat you well. Good luck.
2007-12-25 00:46:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, she dumped you out of the blue for some other guy, if you get together with her it's bound to happen again, I know from experience. I wouldn't bother giving her another chance and I would most likely mark her as a cheater. So just move on.
2007-12-25 00:13:54 · answer #4 · answered by Reverie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She was def. cheating while you 2 were together and now that her and this other guy didn't work out how she planned, she is back to you. If she cheated on you- she'll do it again because she went to him to search for something you weren't providing her with. I'm sorry to say it, but most of the times we cheat for a reason. Good luck- and if I were you, I wouldn't take her back.
2007-12-25 00:20:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is still going to be living that far away. Just dont.
Find somebody closer that you know you can have a good relationship with and trust. If she lied often about anything and everything that should tell you right there. Things obviously didnt work out with her other hookup, and thats why shes crawling back to you.
Dont go for it dude.
Good luck and Merry Christmas!
2007-12-25 00:13:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Think out how you feel and on which points you are prepared to compromise.
Do not pre-judge her or the situations you think she was in.
If it means enough to you, tell her of your hurt and your disillusionment.
Ask her why she acted as she did.
What has happened to change her mind?
With the answers to these questions you should have some idea what will be a healthy solution for you both.
Good luck.
2007-12-25 00:22:20 · answer #7 · answered by Rose 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what it sounds like to me is she was not cheating on you but found someone she liked and wanted to try it out so she broke up with you then went with the other guy and now that it didn't work out she wants you back. either way you shouldn't give her another chance for her to just dump you like that is wrong. but do what your heart tells you
2007-12-25 00:17:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if she lied to you about this guy (by not telling you) and may have cheated on you, if you don't like people like that, don't get involved with her again! Who knows? Maybe she'll cheat on you again? That's risky business, and you should just trust your gut. But I say she doesn't deserve a second chance.
2007-12-25 00:14:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you feel strongly for her it is going to be a tough decision. You say she is less then truthful then your going to have to have to try to think with your head. She did break it off with you instead of just cheating. She could of just fooled around espeacially since there is such a long distance. Good luck. I hoped it helped.
2007-12-25 00:16:54 · answer #10 · answered by King of Albion 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she met him but didn't act on it until she broke up with you. Either way, you shouldn't rush back in with her. She sounds very unpredictable, plus if she lives 60 miles away, what's the point?
2007-12-25 00:15:54 · answer #11 · answered by luv2bfit 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋