Is it wrong for a 17 year old to date a 14 year old?

Question

I'm going out with a guy who is 17 and will be turning 18 in only a few months. I just turned fourteen not too long ago. I like him so much - he's everything I want in a guy. He's my first boyfriend and I want so badly for him to be the last as well. People disapprove of our relationship because of the age difference and I can't say I blame them. But it would break my heart if I had to say goodbye just because of that. Please give me honest opinions ... is it wrong for a 17 year old to date a 14 year old?

((We have not done anything by the way, and he has put no pressure on me to do so. He doesn't believe in premarital and I am the same way, so it isn't an issue.))

Answer 1

That makes you a freshman and him a senior/freshman in college?
Eeeh seems like a huge difference now, but when you think about it in the long run, 40 and 43 aren't so far apart right?
The thing isn't about age, but its about maturity so if you aren't too immature for him and he isn't too experienced for you then don't let what people think... AND KEEP YOUR FIRST BOYFRIEND =]!
If he's everything you want in a guy then age is just a number :DD
good luck don't let other people get in the waay

Answer 2

18 and 14 is a pretty big difference at that age...but girls mature fatser so 14 is like a 16 or 17 yo guy probably. If you are going to have sex check on the statutory rape laws in your state...usually 18 with a girl under 16 is considered illegal...he could get in a lot of trouble. Also consider by the time you are a senior he will have been in college for 3 or 4 years....or when he starts working he''ll be meeting a whole new group of friends...that's why the age difference is so significant at that age, kids' lives change so much from 15 to 25 that only a few years puts you in completely different circumstances...good luck.

Answer 3

Well I'm 17 and if I were in your position I'd definitely feel uncomfortable. Are you really sure he's everything you want. When you have your first boyfriend you think he's the best thing ever! lol Sometimes that may not be as true as you think. I think that people should definitely date more than one person before they become fully comitted because if not you really don't have any idea whats out there and IF this really is what you want. Plus no offense but being 14 girls can be very naive and not sure of alot of things. Just remember that your boyfriend will probably be going to college soon where he'll see alot of girls his age or older and that he may be tempted if you know what I mean. Either way, Goodluck!

Answer 4

At your age..3-4 years is a huge difference. If you were 18 and he was 22..no big deal. I hate to burst your bubble but it's highly unlikely that at 14 you've met the person you'll spend the rest of your life with. In 4 years, neither of you will be anything like you are now.

If your parents are ok with it..then you should just enjoy it while it lasts. Make some great memories...non sexual I would hope...and the 2 of you end things on your own terms, not someone else's.

If they're not ok with it..then respect them and break it off. You may hate it now, but in the end, it'll be less traumatic since they could charge him w/ statutory rape. If you really care for him, you wouldn't want to put him through that.

Answer 5

You do not need to limit your growth as an individual by committing yourself to anybody so young... as tempting as it may seem... boys make just as good friends, and sometimes better friends than boyfriends... especially when you're under 21. I don't see the age difference as a problem, only that you are influencing the development of your maturity with co-dependency... which is hard to reverse later in life. Say you and him make it until you are 24, thats ten years, and he is all you know... then it is over. You can't fathom until you are there how hard that blow to your mentality is to undo... moreso than breaking up had you only started to date at an older age. Just my perception of the thousdands of relationships I have witnessed. Romance is invigorating... but making it a serious part of your life at such a young age could hinder your development into a mature independent individual. I am sure your parents are likely to not be excited about you dating, and when they say you are too young, it's not that they're being condescending thinking you are uncapable of anything, only that they'd like to see you develop into your own individuality before you start living to heed to your other half. There will be plenty of decades later to invest into that... and if you aren't enough of your own person first, then it will be a lot more painful than if you can learn to be fufilled without first. Don't make it all you know so young, is what I'm saying... it's not worth it in the long run. I doubt you will heed the warning, but at least I tried to share the wisdom.

Answer 6

When I was in high school, I was in a very similar situation. I was going to graduate that year and she was a freshman. I was getting hassled by my friends that I was robbing the cradle and I should end the relationship. The biggest problem that I was faced with was her parents. They liked me as a person, but not the fact that I was dating their daughter. I graduated in 1967 and Viet-nam was at it's peek. I went into the service and when I came home, she didn't wait for me. She was dating someone else. Long story short, 3 years difference isn't that bad. Right now I've been married for 25 years and she is 7 years younger than I am. Try to make things work out for you guys if you can. In 3 years from now, who cares how old you are. As you get older, age isn't a factor if your in love.

Good luck

Answer 7

At 14 I don't think you are ready to date anyone especially a 17 almost 18 year old guy. I know it sucks but trust me waiting another year to date will be much better for you in the long run.

If you do continue to date him even when he turns 18 and do have sex then in most states it is statutory rape and your parents can charge him.

Answer 8

It might be wrong, but it varies from relationship to relationship. Your parents are probably worried about your physical relationship, if you're already having it it's illegal, and when he turns eighteen it'll be even more serious. You should sit down and talk with them about it first, as a mature, responsible young person.. ask them why they don't want you together, and listen to what they have to say. As much as it hurts to hear it, parents do know more than you about life and love, and often have really good advice. if it seems to go well, ask them if you can start over with a clean slate, no standards, no expectations; and bring him over for dinner so they can see what a great guy he is [if you're ashamed to have him over or something, he's probably not worth it anyway. anyone worth having is worth showing off ; ) ]. There are lots of internet resources you can consult about this sort of thing too, but I hope this helps. If it's meant to be, it will, if not here and now.

good luck!

Answer 9

I'm 15, And I'm dating a 17 year old. I know how you feel. If he treats you right, and is on the same maturity level as you, and doesn't force you to do things your not comfortable with then i think it is fine. My family LOVES my boyfriend, and his family adores me now, before they got to know me they found it odd that we where dating. (At the time we started "talking" I was 14 almost 15 and he was 16 almost 17). But after they started to get to know me they started to see how good we where for eachother. Back in april, my ex commited suicide, and Brandon (my current bf) helped me thro it all. We are both better people since we have eachother!

Answer 10

Technically no, but honestly, he isn't "everything you want in a guy,"....you're only 14 years old. At that age, you only THINK you know what you want. Trust me, I went through that stage 10 years ago. I would only approve of this if he doesn't take advantage of your young age and pressure you into doing things you don't what to, i.e. any sexual activity. If you do, please use educate yourself and use protection, you definitely don't want to end up as a 14 year old mother. I am also questioning why someone who is 17, practically an adult, wanting to date someone who is barely a teenager and getting to know themselves at 14?