My kids will not do what I tell them to do?

Question

I refuse to clean my childrens room for them!!! I have two girls ages 4 and 8. They share a bedroom and they have a playroom attatched. I have been telling them for 2 months to clean both rooms. They sit up there and play and fight. When I ask them if they are almost done they reply with "almost" or "not yet" I give them time limits or there will be punishment. Like have it done in 3 hours or you're going to bed an hour early. MY KIDS HAVE NOT WATCHED T.V., PLAYED OUTSIDE, STAYED UP LATE ON WEEKENDs in weeks.
They dont care!!!
Now it is Christmas Eve and Ive been telling them all weekend " If you do not have your rooms cleaned by Christmas, You will not open your presents. They will sit there under the tree untill the rooms are clean."
Its 9:30 pm and they keep comming down stairs to tattle on each other and Still i hear them up there playing.....
What is wrong with my kids? Then my 8 year old has the nerve to tell me she dosnt want any presents.

Answer 1

you really need to be firm with them. take action. when my parents told me to do something it was written in stone. I had to do it or else. with kids there is no negotiation. if your child tells you that she doesnt want any presents then take it away from her and still make her clean it.< give her presents 2 days later.> get them by the arm and take them to their room and make them clean up their room. if you going to make a promise follow throw with it.

Answer 2

Just because this issue with them cleaning their room is happening now doesn't mean that you should bring christmas into this. You couldn't do that any other time of the year so why do it now?

At 4 and 8 they still need some direction with cleaning their rooms, especially the 4 year old. Don't put your 8 year old in charge of overseeing the 4 yr old clean, it is probably stressful for her when she starts to clean and the 4 year old is playing.
Also do you think the 4 yr old is going to listen to your older daughter? No. My brother are that far apart in age too he is 13 and im 18 and he never listened to me and still doesn't.

Nothing is wrong with your kids, the problem lies within you and your parenting skills.

My mom did something called a "10 minute tidy" with me, now your girls room sounds like it must be too messy for just 10 minutes, so here is your game plan:

Take them both upstairs and have them do the following

1.Collect all the clothes off the floor and put them in a hamper.
2.Have each girl collect her own toys and put them where they go.
3. Have them make their own beds( you might need to help the 4 year old)

Just stick to the bedroom tonight. Worry about the playroom this weekend.

Also this weekend, try to go to walmart or target and let them pick out their own clothes hampers and their own toy bins.

If there aren't any "fun" toy bins or clothes hamper, let them pick out some art supplies to decorate their own.

Also, I suggest making cleaning a "game". Like first to get all their clothes in their hamper wins a sucker. Make a prize jar for the candy.

Remember they are 4 and 8. Yes, they are old enough to clean but they still need YOUR guidance.

So get off the computer and go follow my plan.

Id like to hear if this works for them.

Answer 3

First of all you've made a major issue out of a small item. (cleaning a bedroom). You obviously don't know how to pick your battles. Or how to close a door. Ask yourself this, in 20 years what do you think will matter most to you? The fact that your kid's room was spotless and that now they come to visit because they can't be themselves or the fact that they cleaned their room on their own schedule (beleive it or not they do) and they show up at your home at least on a weekly basis, because they were always comfortable 'at home'? Your eight year old is trying to tell you this but you're not listening. Why should she care about getting gifts when all that matters to you is a spotless room and not the actual joy of being a child. I hope that in 20 years that spotless bedroom brings you lots of joy.

Answer 4

My girls are 9 and 6 and I have a really hard time too with them cleaning there room and the play room too. Even getting them to go to bed what I found really worked was taking everything out for a while.. I took everything out of there room except the beds.. As far as the play room went it was off limits for a week.. beings yours is attached you might try taking everything out of there too.. I slowly put things back if they did what I ask and went to bed on time one thing got placed back into the room.. With the toy room they would only get to spend a 1/2 hour in there when they did what I ask but I also made them clean up what they got out if they refused it all was taken away again.. Be consistant and firm with them..

Answer 5

You need to go up there and stand over them until they do it. You are hearing them playing and yet you leave them up there. There is nothing wrong with them, they are kids. They know that they do not have to clean it because when it does not get done they just get to go to bed and tomorrow is another day. They still get to be up there every night playing and that is what they want. There are not any consequences for not doing as they are told. When my children are told to clean their rooms they know that it is to be done now and that it is to be done right. I will not tell them again. Be a parent and go make them clean their rooms.

Answer 6

Do you take away all the toys in your daughters' room?? If I were you I would stick to the guns of no presents until the room is clean(of course give them later, but the room HAS TO BE CLEAN) And any other toys they have in their rooms..TAKE THEM OUT OF THE ROOM ALSO...Strip their rooms to be bare minimal! I have a 5 year old and have had to do this many times. And she has been smartmouth with me about "not wanting her toys" when I threaten to take them out. It was/is her way to see if I will actually do as I say. So mom nows it's time to keep to your threats...make those promises--not threats. You have to be consistent or they will NEVER learn!!

Answer 7

obviously what your doing isnt working, so its time to find a new tactic....
and dont tell them they cant have there gifts,,thats just not right..
when my children tell me they have cleaned threre rooms - I always go to check things out and inspect for myself.. I accept what they have done,,if anything.
if they have done some,but there is more to be done, I will sit upstairs with them and help. I dont do a lot,,and I keep after them to keep them on task, but sometimes having me there gets things done.
I have tried many things to get them to clean there rooms. takeing tv away,takeing toys away,no outside etc etc etc,and have nevr found any of them to work....when my son was 6-8 i use to tell him if he didnt clean his room I was going to through everything out - and I so much as bagged it all and put it in the garage - he didnt care...
if you go into the rooms with them,,,give the 4 year old a few specific things to pick up and straighten out,and help her stay on task - shes only 4,and give the 8 year old different direction on things to pick up - you sit right there with them and help as well....
get them used to the idea "what we get out and play with we must pick up",and stick to it. you can add more difficult tasks for your 8 year old,but sticl with realy easy ones for your 4 year old

have fun cleaning - make it a playful event for you and the kids. put on some music and dance around the room together while picking things up
the kids will love it

Answer 8

Kids behave this way if they know there will be no punishment for their behavior? Do you sometimes threaten them, and not follow through?