U Married a Muslim, but now they don't want to be Muslim?

Question

What would you do...how would you handle your marriage??

both were born muslims...and from same community

Answer 1

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

Salaam Alaikum wa Rahmatullah

My heart goes out to you, my sister. It is so hard to deal with a loved one who is experiencing depression. Depression puts a veil over our hearts, confuses our minds, and makes the world look like a hopeless place. It is typical for people suffering from depression to also suffer from a lack of Imaan.

You will need to be patient and understanding in order to deal with this. First of all, DON'T GIVE UP. Depression can get better and if he is able to come out of it he will have a much better chance of regaining his love of Islam.

There are things you can do. Help him by making sure he is eating a good diet, eliminate processed foods, caffeine, and eat lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, moderate meat and other foods such as rice and pasta. Have him take a multivitamin. I know it can be so hard to get men to go to the doctor, but he should go to rule out an underlying medical cause for his depression.

Do your best to encourage him and don't criticize him, as this will only increase his feelings of low self-worth. Is he unemployed? A lot of men place great worth in themselves as workers, so if he is unemployed or underemployed, this might be an issue. Try to play Qur'an in the house as much as possible. Pray and make dhikr and be a good example of Islam, not pressuring him, but just serving as an example for him. Try to visit good websites and listen to lectures together. Let him know you are there for him but don't let him wallow too much. Try to get him out to exercise and have some good brothers come to try to take him out to do good stuff. If he needs to talk to someone, or get on medication, try to do some research on what's available, but medications are very challenging as they have side effects and don't always work, so this should not be a first resort.

Let your husband know that you love him and are going to stand by him. Shaitan loves to break up marriages and he will use all the wiles he has to do so. Don't allow Shaitan into your home. Make it a place of peace and just concentrate on your marriage. In the midst of all this, don't forget about yourself. Take time to do things you enjoy even if your husband is down. Go read a book in the park or take yourself out to lunch. Spend time with some good sisters. A healthy you will help make him healthier, inshAllah.

Surely the most powerful weapon you have is the du'a. When you are praying, when you are in sujuud with your face touching the ground, make du'a to Allah to heal your husband and help him recover his Imaan. Fast, and when you break your fast, make du'a at that time as well. Be patient and realize that every step you make trying to help your husband will result in a great reward from Allah.

May Allah help you in this my sister. If you need to talk, you are welcome to contact me any time

fi Aman Allah

Nancy Umm Abdel Hamid

Answer 2

Being a Muslim is not only praying, fasting, etc. ... it is a way of life. The Quran is a guidance for us on how to live our life peacefully and meaningfully in doing good in this world to ourselves and others.

I could only imagine how difficult it would be to live with someone who used to be Muslim and chooses not to be. You are asking the question and honestly If it were me ( God forbid) I would leave the marriage although it will be very difficult:( Allah yastor. But think of it this way. It would be more difficult to live with someone who left Islam because the only other direction would be the haram path.

Answer 3

if you were to mary someone who you saw was pious...even just doing the muinimum like the daily prayers and reading quran, you wouldnt be put in that position. Someone with a strong faith in their religion wouldnt all of a sudden stop believing.
in the case where its too late, i think a divorce is best because how will you raise your kids? "pork is haram, but daddy eats it" doesnt send a good message.

Answer 4

If he doesn't want to be Muslim then why are you still with him?? Seems like you are the one who must be brought into Question not him??? Muslim women are only suppose to be married to Muslim men......

Answer 5

Divorce.

Answer 6

how can they Muslim is the light in peoples hearts(no offense to other religion)if they don't wont then it's their life.try to talk it out and if it doesn't help then they have to go to sprat directions.

Answer 7

Asalam Alaikum
This is truly are tough situation. First thing I would like to say is that we are all born Muslims our families make us different. So you would mean both were raised Muslim :)

As for what to so maybe this can help

His wife has left Islam

Question:
A brother came to me and Asked "What does he do if his wife told him that she no longer desires to be a muslim. She believes that there is a God but she does not want to be a Muslim. She said she does not care if it takes her to the Hell-Fire. She has stopped praying, remove the cover from her and her daughter(who is not his daughter), and said that they no longer follow Islam." She has also said that she wants to move. Shaikh, we urgently need to know what to do. If she is guilty of ar-riddah, then how does it affect their marriage? Are they still married? Does she go into a state of Iddah? Can he be alone with her? Should he remain in the same home (she asked him to leave and she is bringing statues and other impermissible things into the home)? It could present fitnah and weaken his eemaan because of his emotions. We(the members of this community) definitely would appreciate a rapid response as there may be serious implications from the matter.

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

Undoubtedly if this is the case, she has chosen kufr over eemaan. She does not want to stay a Muslim and she is insulting Islam and its symbols, and going against its teachings. In this case she is a kaafir and an apostate, so it is not permissible for him to stay married to her, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Likewise hold not the disbelieving women as wives”

[al-Mumtahanah 60:10]

left" style="direction: ltr; unicode-bidi: embed">i.e., if he has a kaafir wife, it is not permissible for him to stay married to her. He has to advise her and establish proof against her, then leave her. If he is in a place where there is an Islamic government and sharee’ah law, then he has to refer her case to the Muslim qaadi, for him to ask her to repent. If she does not repent then the ruling of Allaah should be carried out on her, which is execution, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever changes his religion [leaves Islam], execute him.”

But if that is not possible and there is no Islamic rule or sharee’ah law in his country, then at least he should separate from her completely; it is not permissible for him to live with her after she has clearly stated her kufr.

Answer 8

a Muslim never Chang him or her
Islam is not Hollywood movie never forget it

Answer 9

If my husband leaves Islam, I hope Allah will make it easy to me to leave him, coz I only approve marriage with a Muslim and because he is a Muslim.

Answer 10

you have to talk to your spouse this is a very difficult descision
if things on like this your going to have to divorce your spouse difficult but its easier than living your life as haraam

peace