Okay well i know this guy.. And i really like him.. He likes me too..But hes 23... I know it sounds so SO wrong but it feels really right.. Hes so lovley and hes not a pervert atall.. We kinda talked about us. And were not gunna do anything about it till im 16.. Hes not tryna get me into anything.. But like.. What are the laws like.. Can we be together when im 14 aslong as we dont have sex? And do you think its really that wrong?
2007-12-24 12:57:17 · 54 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well, im 13.
&i went out w/a 19 year old.
age is only a number.
2007-12-24 13:10:47 · answer #1 · answered by cobrastarshipx3 2 · 1⤊ 7⤋
Yes, this is very very wrong. 9 years difference doesn't really make all that much difference when you're 30 and he's 39, but it makes a world of difference when you are 14 and he is 23. People go through a lot of changes from 18-24, and you're just asking for trouble by dating someone who's on the other side of that magic line.
Here's the deal. People want someone who is their equal. The only kind of people who want someone who is "less equal" are people who want to control and manipulate the situation. He will call the shots and you will get trampled on. It has happened time and time and time again - are you really the one in a billion case where this isn't true? If he really is so wonderful, why can't he find someone closer to his own age to date? Why must he seek out someone who doesn't have enough experience with dating to see the danger signs?
If he is 23 and he is interested in 14 year olds, then when you are 20 and he is 29, he'll still be interested in 14 year olds. I know, you think he is great, but normal 23 year old men are not interested in 14 year old girls. If he is interested in you, then there is something wrong with him. He is a pedophile (a pervert) - by definition.
Please do not date this man. He's interested in you because he thinks he can push you around. He's exhibiting behavior that is highly questionable, and one day you'll wake up and the cops will be hauling him off for molesting little girls in the park. Don't set yourself up for this kind of thing.
2007-12-24 13:07:43 · answer #2 · answered by Damocles 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Let's take your posting a bit at a time;
1/ What should you do? Easy one, dump him immediately.
2/ It sounds wrong because it IS wrong.
3/ He is NOT lovely, he IS a pervert.
4/ He IS trying to get you into something.
5/ If it is not illegal where you live,it is immoral..
6/ YES! I, and everyone else that has posted here, think that it is really wrong.
Ditch this pervert and tell your parents, before you get into real trouble. You sound like a sensible girl, now is the time to act like one. Get out of this relationship now, In a few years, you will look back on this and think what a lucky escape that you had.
I know that this is not the answer that you wanted, but look at the number of replies that you have had, all saying the same thing.
2007-12-24 22:13:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wake up honey. You're young, no wonder why you think it feels "so right". Let me tell you something.
Guys who "like" younger girls, i know all about them. It's called common sense. They give you what you want for so long. They're sweet to you, buy you things, tell you they love you, don't pressure you....Until they all of a sudden start trying to get you to do more...
And eventually he'll either leave because you didn't want to **** him (to put it in nice terms), OR you'll **** him and then pretty soon all of a sudden he's out of your life...
.It happens hon. I'm sorry, I may sound like a ***** & you're going to think I have no idea what I'm talking about, because youre 14 and you think that this is going to last and you're going to be together forever. You're not.
This guy is the type of guy who chases after younger girls, tries to get them to sleep with him, and leaves. I'm sorry. That's how it is.
Because he's a little sick in the head if he IS attracted to 14 year old, no breasted, just barely hit puberty, teeny boppers.
Tell me...How long have you known him? Have you met his friends? Have you been to his place? Have you been introduced to anythign/anyone in his life?
I can see if you've only known him for like 2 weeks, maybe a month. But if it's been longer than that hon, and you haven't been introduced in his life (say meeting his friend, even being to his apartment) that's a sure as hell sign that somethings wrong.
The laws are very different from state to state. In some states, if you have sex with someone who's 16 and you're 18, it's okay. In some states, if you have sex with someone who's 16 and you're 18, you could get in big trouble...
In conclusion, if you are willing to give up your (are you a virgin?) virginity for a guy (which you will regret later in life, because many girls regret the first guy they slept with...) who you "like", then go for it.
One piece of advice. YOU may not press statatory rape charges, but be damn sure your parents will if they EVER find out. So you better be sneaky as **** little girl. That's all I'm saying.
2007-12-24 13:09:46 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
9 years is a large age gap and the maturity level is completely different and the experience level is really different too. He has probably done a lot of things that you don't know about, not bad things, but things that people his age do...and have experienced....I think it would be hard to have a serious relationship when there is such a huge difference in age.....when people are older, it doesn't matter as much (like a couple where one is 40 and the other is 49)...honestly, it doesn't sound like a good idea, from what you have said. I don't want to judge you based on stereotypes.....but its a little ridiculous....be careful
2007-12-24 13:05:45 · answer #5 · answered by jenn 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you may not think he's a pervert because your only 14 but trust me he is. It is against the law for him to have sex with you until your 18. But i strongly suggest you get away from this guy because he has some problems. When you 23 look at some of your friends who are guys and imagine them dating 14 year olds. then you will see how messed up this guy really is
2007-12-24 13:03:45 · answer #6 · answered by Jesse 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You're too young for him. End of story.
There's only one thing that a 14 year old has that a 23 year old might be interested in, and believe me, he will do or say ANYTHING to get it.
"Were not gunna do anything about it till im 16"
What, so when you're two years more mature and so is he, and then you're going to sleep together?
Find a guy at least six years younger, honestly.
2007-12-24 13:01:26 · answer #7 · answered by Astrid 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You should probably wait until your a little older for legal reasons and to wait until your a little more mature [I'm not saying your immature either] but he will want a SERIOUS relationship and they are a lot of work mentally, spiritually, and emotionally!! you should be friends first and after you really get to no each other and you ,are a little older, your parents will be more willing to understand your age difference also you will have a lot better/longer relationship because of it!! if you rush things your parents can have a restraining order for the 2 of you or just have him arrested so be careful!! Hope i helped -bEcKy
2007-12-24 13:40:27 · answer #8 · answered by Becky D 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's not really that wrong just to talk to each other. I would let your parents know that you have a friend ( and it HAS to be friends for now) that you're talking to and he's 23 and nice.
It's okay just as long as he's willing to wait 'til you're of age and you're willing to be just friends right now.
On the flip side of that though.... What's wrong with him not having a girlfriend his age? Is he so immature to feel he cannot be with someone his age?
Be careful. Guys who like to be with someone waaaaay to young and illegal for them are usually trouble.
You're too young for anything serious. Enjoy being 14 and forget about adult stuff for now. Don't be such in a hurry to grow up, you'll regret it I promise.
2007-12-24 13:05:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
best thing to do is learn to slow down make sure you both along would be fine to take time till get older just right time to be dating but can be friends First to getting knows each other other wise i cud notice most of them already rude relationship or lost connection
i understood if that age too risky but need to learn to getting know each other for couple years to make sure would become good dating after over 18 would be fine not get any risk or any problems unless try not to have any trouble with it
i know each states has difference age by the laws some of over 18 can be right time or either older than 18 would be more safer than happens
2007-12-24 13:06:38 · answer #10 · answered by mark f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No the age difference is just too much. I'm sorry. I know you probably can't see it right now but I am sure he's after pretty much only one thing. He's 23 and should know better. Talk to an adult (besides him) that you trust about this thing between you two. It's just not healthy and I wouldn't want you to get hurt.
2007-12-24 13:03:06 · answer #11 · answered by angel1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋