how do i break up with a passive agressive person?

Question

I have been dating this guy for 4 months. We knew each other for two before that.
The problem is he is a control freak. If I'm not available whenever he wants me to be he whines and says how it takes a toll on him mentally. But when I've been gone, I let him know that it's when I'm sick or with family.

Meanwhile, he is busy all the time with his family and work, which I don't complain about.

Recently I wrote him an email which stated that I feel he is taking me for granted until basically something better comes along. He agreed my assessment to be 'true' but didn't say anything else and expects us to continue along like everything's normal.

Meanwhile, he feels like he can come over whenever he wants without calling yet I can't do the same because of his 'privacy' issues. He is paranoid that I am seeing someone else and not 'satisfied' (I have never expressed or felt this) but yet he's the one who's always looking!

How do I break up with this guy without more emotional blackmail?

yeah i sent him two break up letters and he refuses to get it. i guess the next step is just not answering his emails or the door if he knocks (i don't have a phone but when i did he would run up the bill, which is one of the reasons i cancelled my cell service cuz i'm on a fixed income).

i don't know how else to break up with him. i tried writing to him like i said but he can't take no for an answer or tries to blame my period. What a jerk!

i hope he doesn't get stalky. he also knows my landlord and i hope he doesn't try anything weird or use info i told him against me (which he has before, i told him my weak traits and then he brings them up when i have a genuine beef with his behavior).

this really sucks and no guy's 'magic wand' is worth this, i think i'll invest in a more durable synthetic product for now until i heal. apparently he has low self esteem and is into making others feel the same way to get them to stay with him. or he picks ppl who're having a hard time.

my question is now, how do i avoid this type in the future? why didn't i see it sooner? he is well-known in the area and ppl either like him a lot or can't stand him... i should've gotten the hint then.

but yeah how to avoid falling in these traps? ppl seem to hide their true intentions/feelings until i'm already involved. how can i avoid making the same mistake again?!!? thanks for answers on this in particular....

Answer 1

Give me a break. Send him a text or an email that says, "It's over, don't call me again." After that put him on "ignore", run your IM on stealth, delete him from your "friends list" on myspace, use caller ID and an answering machine to screen your calls, don't answer the door if he knocks. It won't take long before he gets the message.

Answer 2

Get rid of him u dont need a guy like that and tell him it will take its toll on him mentally wen u leave him this guy doesnt trust you. Like u said hes a control freak get some air get rid. and as for the blackmail u dont have to do anything u dont want tell it to him straight with someone with you i might add

Answer 3

it sounds like somebody has a guilty conscience...he suspects you of doing everything he's doing or feeling how he's feeling. tell him that you think theres someone better out there for him who can make him happy b/c though you try, say you dont feel like you will be the right one for him.put it all on him. if you really want to break up w/ him, you have to do it so you wont stunt your growth or chances @ happiness w/ someone else! gd luck. i cant believe he practically admitted to you tht he is usig you as a sort of safety net.where is his respect???!! loose him quick.