Is it okay to send out wedding invitations at two different times?

Question

My fiance lives in South Carolina. I've traveled my whole life and have only ever lived in one place a maximum of 2 1/2 years. Needless to say, my friends are all scattered pretty severely. The majority of my family is in Minnesota. With the majority of my relatives on fixed incomes, I know they'll need quite a bit of advance notice to save money to make the trip. We aren't getting married until November. Would it be okay to order all of the invitations now and only send the ones to my family and friends who are far away (I have quite a few friends in California) who would need the advance notice? Then I could send out the rest when we're about 4-5 months out.

It's important to me that my family actually gets to attend the wedding, and I'm sure lots of advance notice is the only way to get them there. Would it seem rude to the people who didn't get an invitation right away if they found out somehow?

Answer 1

There is a better way to do this . . send out SAVE THE DATE cards.

Wedding invitations should be sent out about three months in advance if the invitations are going out of the country BUT sending some of the wedding invitations NOW and some of them LATER will only create problems for you (relatives talking to other relatives).

Either have a SAVE THIS DATE card printed OR create one of your own.

SAVE THIS DATE
for the wedding of
Mary Smith
and
John White
on November 1, 2008
at the Holiday Inn
in Anytown, NY, USA

Please make your travel plans now
Invitation to follow

Save the Date cards should only be sent out to those people who need to make travel arrangements not everyone on your guest list . . UNLESS everyone has to make travel arrangements. Save the Date cards should be sent out 6 - 12 months in advance of your wedding date. And make sure you have "Invitation to follow" on the card because some people will think that this is their wedding invitation.

Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant

Answer 2

Hi. Don't send out the actual invitations now or even 4-5 months early. That is way too early. Most invitations are mailed 6-8 weeks prior to the wedding.

You CAN, however, send out "Save The Date" notices. That is an easy way to let distant family and friends know well in advance to "save the date" for your wedding. Then you can mail the actual invitation about 6-8 weeks prior to the wedding.

Good luck!

Answer 3

I'd just send them out at the same time, no matter the distance to the wedding ceremony/reception site.

I did this, sent out invites in August '07 for a June '08 wedding, and I haven't heard any complaints thus far.

As a matter of fact, I've heard a TON of compliments. We are being very organized in our planning and they said its better to do it the way we are doing it rather than try to plan a wedding for 300 people in three months.

You could always do Save the Dates as well (to EVERYONE, not just the "out of towners"). What we did, was send out the invitations, and all the Yes answers we got back, we sent out a reminder magnet for their fridge (this way we saved on buying magnets).

Answer 4

Enlist friends and family to help. If you have a friend who is a photographer, ask him/her to help you- you'll probably get a discount. If you don't know any professional photographers, and good photos are important to you, find a photography student who is still in school, but in their junior or senior year. If you give them permission to use your photos in their portfolios, they will really put lots of effort and take great pics since they'll use them when applying for jobs. They will often give you a large discount, and their rates are cheaper to begin with. Ditto for DJs. It's much cheaper to have a friend do it and now it's very easy to make your own mix. If the place that's catering doesn't require that you hire their waiters, see if any of the neighbor's kids or any acquaintances who aren't guests can do it. It's sometimes cheaper to have a family member prepare the food if you purchase ingredients from Sam's club of Costco, but it can be a huge hassle for them, especially if they have to be in the wedding. Having a dry wedding is way cheaper than one with alcohol. If you don't want to go completely alcohol-free, provide a bottle of sparkling wine for each table for the toasts. Don't use sparkling grape juice - it's gross. Yes, it's a little bit lame not to serve alcohol, but you can always say that somebody your family is religious and they oppose drinking. That way, not only you save money, but you don't have to deal with guests throwing up or leaving the party drunk. Nobody cares about decorations in the church/synagogue/temple so you can cut some money there and make them yourself. If you're not superstitious, you can buy a used veil/headpiece. It's not like they've had any tear and wear from being worn for 4 hours. You can also make your own invitations. I bought mine since I was in grad school studying for exams, and I didn't have the time to mess with it. However, if you have some time or an artsy friend, you can make amazing invitations with craft paper, ribbon, glitter and a printer. Two things you don't want to save on- shoes and underwear. Buy shoes that don't pinch, even if they are expensive, and bring a pair of flats to dance in. Yes, bad shoes can cause blisters in an hour, and it's a pain to dance if you have blisters. Buy good supportive underwear that matches the tone and shape of your dress and that doesn't show trough the dress.

Answer 5

How about save-the-dates? That way, you send them to everyone you plan to invite, and can send them now if you want. When comes time for invites, send them to the same people. This way, people don't think they got left out by not getting in the first batch of invites ;)

Answer 6

I would send out Save-the-Dates.