Does age matter?

Question

Do you think that a 42 year old man is too old for a 21 year old woman?

Answer 1

Tricky question, in some ways.

Age difference can be a big problem in some relationships.
I think that if the 21 year old is actually mature and is in the same place mentally as the 42 year old man, it has about a 50% chance of working out.

I personally am not a believer in the "if they LOVE each other, it will work out FOR SURE!!!1!1111!!!" mentality. Love is of course what one hopes for in a relationship, but it isn't "the" thing that keeps people together in the long run.

Of course, if you want to do the math, when the man was 21, he was old enough to be her father. 'Course, at 42, he's still old enough to be her father...

Older men have their appeal, in my opinion mostly because 21 year old men act like 2 year old boys. Maturity and quiet intellect (as long as it's not fake because that gets old fast) is always one of the most attractive things to women, whether we really want to admit it or not.

Age difference, especially in terms of that large of a gap, is something that is often a cause of a breakup, for various reasons. I can't sit here and say I am wholeheartedly disapproving of the idea, since I like older men myself. However, for long-term relationships, I generally give (and follow) the advice of being friends first.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news here, but as far as the law of averages go, relationships with that big of a difference in age don't usually work out. In the end I suppose you have to give it a shot IF you really really want to, and see where you end up.

Answer 2

Does age matter as far as what? I guess the question is can a marriage work with that age difference? Yes. Does it matter? Sure. There are practical matters of concern, and it should be thought through, and considered. Also, people do change over time especially at age 21. However, you may be an exceptionally mature person.

What are you looking for in a marriage, and why marry someone that much older than you? What is it that attracts you to marry him more than a younger man more your age? Do you really know each other that well? What will he provide for you? What will he not be able to provide for you? What about in 10 years when he is 52 and you are 31, what are some of the practical ramifications? What about when he is 62 and then you are 41?

If you have found a best friend and have a deep relationship, and just want to be with them all the time, and you thought this through, and you want to share intimacy till death parts you two? then perhaps go for it!

Answer 3

Hi Ana difficult one to answer without being a little bit hypocritical.
Generally speaking age is just a number. If the couple are really good together and it's not a guy with an ego problem then okay.
But you have to think of the girl, is she a grown up 21 and got her head screwed on. Is she street wise and not naive.
Is she easily fooled.
If the answer to any of those questions is yes then she should not be with him.
If the guy is a young 42 who is active and lively and will let her enjoy her life, then it can work out.
Unfortunately, a lot of girls get into that position with an older guy and end up being controled and not seeing their friends or getting out for a girly night. There is a lot to think about.

Answer 4

Well, do you think a 42 year-old woman is too old for a 21 year-old man?

Women don't usually see the error of their actions until the roles are reversed.

Answer 5

I think it really just depends on what the two are looking for. If the 42 is looking to settle down , then maybe she should be looking for someone a little bit older. Afterall, he is 21 and probably is going to start drinking and going out a lot more and explore the bars . It all just depends again on what one another want .

Answer 6

Well, anyone can really date anyone. But if you want to be practical, and after the luvy duvy part is calmed down, practical is where you will eventually be. Think about this, when you are 41 (which is still in the prime of your life), he will be 62 and on social security and trust me, men slow down much faster than women. My girlfriend married a guy 10 years older than her and she said it was awful when she was 50 and he was 60. So, even if you really like/love this person, remember that after the honeymoon, there are lots more things in life to consider. My husband is only 5 years older than me and I can see the difference. Time will not be your friend.

Answer 7

No age do not matter, what matter is what is coming from the heart Believe me. I have a 25 year old man and im 15.i dont look at the age the point is we both love eachother.

Answer 8

Yes I am afraid I do, but that is because he is twice the age.
And it quite likely that, as women tend to out live men at the best of times, its possible that this lady is gonna be a widow for a longer time then some. I have a husband 8 years older then I am, and after 4O years, we are still very much in lo ve, but the distance that age creates on one, seems to make the distance a bit more then if we were of the same age.

But 8 years is not quite as bad as 2O odd years.

Answer 9

My boyfriend is 48 and I'm 30 so that's about the same difference. We do okay, it doesn't matter much. My folks are cool with him. We met at work doing the same job, so we make the same money and know the same people, we both like the beach and playing music. As long as you have things in common and find each other sexy it's all good. If David Bowie wanted to date me I'd upgrade in a heartbeat and he's 62. :)

Answer 10

To have babies, yes. Because after you're 35 years of age, the child most likely will not come out very good.
But, even though the age gap is pretty big, I guess they could be together if they loved each other. ^^
So, I'd say they go for it.
Merry Christmas!

From ~ Kidalanna