I've been invited by one of my best friends to go on a trip to Hawaii in February. I've never been off the east coast of America and Canada, and I've always wanted to experience new places, plus I have never been on vacation with one of my friends before. I would be missing 5-6 days of school, but I can get my makeup work and lessons beforehand, and be completely caught up with school by the time I return. I feel like this is the opportunity of a lifetime- it's FREE for me, her dad is using his air miles and paying for the hotel stay! It would be INCREDIBLE to spend a week in Hawaii with one of my best friends- a trip I would remember for the rest of my LIFE. My parents have flat out said no. I'm indescribably upset. They don't think I should be missing school, but I don't understand what kind of an argument this is since I can get the makeup work. They also don't like the fact I'll be so far away and they can't watch me. They say we might go to Hawaii as a family soon but (continued)
2007-12-24 09:50:21 · 17 answers · asked by Riley 2 in Travel ➔ United States ➔ Honolulu
no one can argue it is an ENTIRELY different experience vacationing with ones family than with ones friends. I'm seventeen years old and they want to regulate every waking moment of my life! Sure it's great going places with your family but I'm 17- I want to be with my friends!! Plus I'm going on vacation with my family in March for spring break anyway (which they're also using as an excuse because I'll be going on vacation 'the month after anyway') but my God that's different! It will be fun but going somewhere at some other point isn't a reason to deny something else. I feel like they think I'm still 7 years old and I'm some kid they need to babysit but I'm NOT. I've never wanted to do something so badly- I mean HAWAII was dangled in front of my face and they just smashed it down! Now they're trying to put me on a guilt trip because it's christmas eve and I guess I shouldn't have asked? I'm so angry I don't know what to do.
2007-12-24 09:50:30 · update #1
I have tried hard to have a real mature conversation with them but every time I try to talk about it they say "this won't change our decision, it's a no!" and they walk away. It's hard not to get angry when they won't even listen to what I have to say!! They won't talk to me about it or have my thoughts or even the details on the trip-I have all of them! They made the decision without even talking to me about it! I'm so, so mad. I will always remember this as the trip they ripped out of my hands.
Any extra details you might want to know to judge this decision:
- I would be going with my friend, her sister, and her dad, + possibly one other friend
- At the time of the trip I would be 17
- The trip would be 7-9 days. It's in February so there would possibly be snow days in between anyway. We would get our makeup work beforehand
- We are in 11th grade
- I've never been on vacation with my friend before and I know I would remember this experience for the rest of my life.
2007-12-24 09:50:48 · update #2
Sorry, you're a minor, and your parents are responsible for you. If their decision is "No", then that is how it is. At 17 you think this is the end of the world, but in reality, when young girls get together unchaperoned, they tend to get themselves into trouble. (Your mom was once 17, so she knows what 17 year old girls do). Yea, Yea, I know, You're different. You and your friend would never do anything dangerous. Your parents love you and care about you very much. Hawaii will always be there. When you're the mother of a 17 year old you'll understand your parents decision.
2007-12-24 10:45:39 · answer #1 · answered by Peedlepup 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is not a once in a life time opportunity for you. You are 17 you have your whole life ahead of you. It won't be long before you are 18. Save up your money then go to Hawaii. No one will be able to say anything to you and you won't have to beg for permission. Plus it will really aggravate your parents LOL.
You didn't mention if you are male or female. I assume you are female. You also didn't mention if there was going to be a Mom there with the Dad. Honestly even though you don't see it right now, but when you have experience life more you will see that it is a little creepy that your friend's father is paying for all these young girls which he will be the only parent at. Trust me eventually you will realize that this dad is not as cool as you think.
2007-12-25 10:36:19 · answer #2 · answered by lakecity21 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
To the girl in the UK who made snotty comments about this poster's grades: she isn't saying that Hawaii is off the east coast of the U.S. She is saying that *she* has never been anywhere other than the east coast of the U.S.!
Now, on to the question.
As much as I hate to sound like an old lady, I have a little boy (he is 6) and I truly doubt I would let him go on a trip like this in 11 years. A lot would depend upon how well I knew my son's friend and the friend's father. I would also be uncomfortable with the friend's family paying for everything -- particularly if it's only the opposite sex parent going with you as chaperone. Sorry if that sounds sexist or whatever, but parents need to look out for their kids and if I didn't know the woman extremely well, she wouldn't be taking my son down the block, let alone to Hawaii!
Here is a thought: do you plan to move out and/or go to college when you graduate high school? You could start planning now for a graduation trip to Hawaii with this particular friend. I know it doesn't solve the problem of going in two months and who wouldn't blame you for wanting to go? But if you prove to your parents that you are responsible and deserving (e.g., by getting good grades, staying out of trouble, and graduating from high school with goals in front of you), maybe they will help you pay for a trip next summer when you graduate! That would actually be more fun than going in Feb. (which can be wet) and with your friend's father.
As much as it sucks right now, try to realize that your parents are doing what they feel is best for you. Lay the groundwork now for a graduation trip and start saving your money!
2007-12-26 00:56:07 · answer #3 · answered by aloha.girl59 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The only thing I can add is that perhaps you could ask your friend's father to speak with your parents. If they can't/won't communicate their fears about this trip with /you/, maybe they will with him. If their fears are valid fears, your friend's father may be able to put them more at ease. If they are just concerned that their baby will be leaving home for 7 days, then nothing you can do will change their mind.
As others have said though, Hawaii isn't going anywhere. I'm sure it feels like the end of the world, but mae this a goal to get out there with your friends another time, if you can't make it work for this trip.
Good luck.
2007-12-26 11:30:01 · answer #4 · answered by Dani 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All things being equal I would allow my 17 year old daughter to go on a trip like the one you describe.
However life is not equal or fair. I think that the other posters are hitting some issues such as is the trip with "Dad" only? Is it dad and his girl friend? Do your parents know and like and trust "Dad"? I think there could be the economic issue. Could your parents truly afford such a vacation? If not their pride may be factoring in here. Lastly, the Natalie Holloway death is still out there spinning around and your parents may be feeling they need to protect you from anything remotely close to that.
2007-12-28 17:12:34 · answer #5 · answered by zudmelrose 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forgive me for saying this but as someone from the UK I have always been under the impression that Hawaii is off the WEST coast of America, not the EAST which is what you are saying. Maybe if you have said this to your parents then they have every reason to believe that your schooling has already suffered...
In all seriousness, maybe your parents are feeling guilty that they cannot afford to take you to Hawaii themselves, and their reaction is the only way they can deal with it....parents are human with feelings too you know. Perhaps it would have been better if you friend's father, along with your friend, had asked their permission before inviting you.
2007-12-24 18:30:33 · answer #6 · answered by sarch_uk 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I don't want to side with one or the other, but your parents might feel there is not enough parental supervision for you. This decision would be based on how you two behave together. I think you would have a blast, as long as you obeyed the rules, and it truly is a shame you have to miss out on this. Of course, being a parent, I would have to really think hard about allowing my daughter to venture on a trip like this.
2007-12-24 17:58:12 · answer #7 · answered by pissy_old_lady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are probably making a mistake. It is a wonderful oppurtunity, and no I don't believe that they will go to Hawaii, because they would have gone by now. But, either they are best to know who you are, or they are making you miss out on a life time memory. Either way, I'm sorry, it is their call.
2007-12-27 11:07:54 · answer #8 · answered by Nifty Bill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My God - you have insecure parents. To deny such an experience is insane. Opportunities come along onle so often and one has to take advantage of them!
Maybe they feel they don't want your friend;s dad to pay for you? It may put them in an economically insecure situation. I say have you friend's dad call them and reinsure them it would be alright. A trip is a much more valuable experience than one week of school. As a parent I would allow my child as long as schools is covered and it is safe! If you are really 17 they are over-protective. You are so old! I would let my kids go! Mine are too young now, but as a lawyer and world traveler, any experience outside home is a positive one!
Happy Holidays! I hope it works out!
2007-12-24 18:09:52 · answer #9 · answered by jennifer_weisz 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
In your arguments, one thing you don't mention is your grades. I suspect if you were an honor student, you would have mentioned that as well. So I wonder if your parents are truly concerned about your education. Face it, makeup work is not the same.
2007-12-25 12:47:14 · answer #10 · answered by boomer gal 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋