I am a muslim and im a lesbian but noone knows, im 22..?

Question

My sister is third youngest and wants to get married!
i feel guilty as im the eldest and if only i was normal i would have been first to get married.
She hasnt told mum shes found someone but once told me via text. I know im les and mums been pressurising me to marry and i keep saying no but why do i feel guilty.
Its not that im unattractive, or anything like that just feel like the ugly old sister at the moment as people will probably talk.
I hate being les, if i was normal i would have been first to marry. Mum is a single parent brought us up on her own although im a girl i looked after my siblings as though they were my kids sad i know, i acted like their dad. I worked hard along with mum to makesure my siblings never missed out.
I am in love with a married woman, and no i didnt fall for her she fell for me. Even she doesnt know i feel the same and i knw i should not feel the same as her but i do. My life is pointless no happiness at all.

Please advise me what too do..

thanks

Answer 1

You're young but in time you'll learn that making yourself happy is more important than the approval of your family and peers.

Here is the best advice anyone will ever give you, never be an approval seeker

Answer 2

What you might want to do if you're in a hurry to be the first daughter married, is find a gay guy in a similar situation (meaning he doesn't want to come out to his parents for fear of being disowned) and marry him...I've known gay men and women that have done that before and it usually keeps everyone happy for awhile. Then, if you get divorced later, you can tell your family that he was gay and it broke your heart and you never want to have anything to do with men ever again...blah blah blah...
You do need to tell this woman how you feel though. It's not fair to either one of you - and why hate being gay? Gay, afterall, means happy, right? Be happy with yourself!
good luck!

Answer 3

Sweetie, I have found through my life that people who base their life decisions looking to deep into religious matters, live a sad and frustrating life.
I was raised catholic but I see no point in following precepts established by selfish men thousands of years ago.
In the catholic bible it says that I die and didn’t have kids my brother is supposed and obligated to have sex with my wife so they can have kids and name the first one after me. I don’t know about the rest, but the last thing I would like is for my widowed wife to be forced into liking in a carnal way my brother.
Absurdities if a man doesn’t like his wife anymore he can claim she was not a virgin when they married and then if the father of the wife cannot show the stained sheets if her virgin blood, then she should be stoned to death on her father’s doorstep by the village men.
Just to simple examples, of how absurdity overrules common sense and just plain justice and love for each other.
The same God who you are ashamed of and your family uses to try to force your life into misery (because if you marry for any other reason than love, you will be miserable) is the God who made you a lesbian.
Is that a bad thing?
No! it is who you are and you cannot fight it. You have given to this world more by taking care of your siblings and many priests and similar in other religions. You deserve happiness.
You need to sit and evaluate if you can live without your family. Then take care of yourself and make the decision you know you need to make which is telling the truth.
Freedom is the greatest God gift to humans. Sometimes it’s a hard gift to accept but it is a beautiful gift that you need to treat with respect.
Good luck to you. And don’t let “religion” ruin your life. God created us and love’s us just the way we are.

Answer 4

I wish i could say that everything will be easy. But it wont. All i can tell u is that honesty with yourself and maybe someday with ur family will make u happier. Do u go out to gay bars? U dont have to drink its just a good place to start to find friends that can understand what u r going through. U can email me if u want. I am bi and have been my whole life. i still think my mom thinks im just going through a "phase" or im just trying to upset her. Be careful with married ppl its more than u and her.
Good Luck

Answer 5

People need to seriously lay off on this whole religion aspect of life. It is a backbone to basically how you're suppose to live your life and to give you reassurance you're just not gonna end it all once you die.
You are a lesbian. Be proud of who you are. Be proud of your sister and she needs to get some guts as well as you and tell your mother. Hiding things is pathetic and if you're shunned well who cares. It only shows you one thing - your family is BS. Until people can take people for who they are and not force their entire lifestyle around a book which is half full of lies they shouldn't even be bothered with.

Answer 6

You should live somewhere people will accept you for who you are. If you're in the Middle East, you might have to move to the west. London, Paris or New York are logical choices. I wish you the best.

Answer 7

in 2 months time all of this would have passed and you would be sure of where your life is headed... untill then play it by ear...
being a lesbian doesn't make you a bad person and if your family are worth loving they should realise that otherwise forget them and live your life... you're old enough to make your own disisions and get on fine without them.... i know it's easier said than done but this is the first obsticle that you will face to fit around your life choices... many have seen worse BELIEVE ME!

Answer 8

Tell your mom you are gay. Yes she will be mad, but maybe one day she will come around and you will feel alot better by having it all out there. Continue to date who you want. Dont get married and mess up some mans life after he finds out you arent into him. Dont get married cause others want you to. They arent you nor will they be in your marriage so its non of their business how you spend your love life. Grow up and grow a damn backbone

Answer 9

Be yourself. You are a lescian be proud of that and be proud of who you are. Don't try to change yourself for no one but you! Tell your mom and your family. They might be mad at first but the will come around. Religon have nothing to do with who you love. Good luck!

Answer 10

You are in a pressure cooker and unless you can lift the lid off of it, it will explode eventually. Tell your mom the truth about yourself, I doubt she will kill you. Forget about that married woman until the separation or divorce. Try to relax and not let your sexual identity rule your life. You seem like a woman who is entitled to a lot of self-respect, use it to your advantage.