My ex( again) ran off aawy from me again. Every few years we get real real close, quite fast. It is intense and amazing on every level. Then she suddenly does not want to talk, and seems to forget everything that just happened, and becomes emotionally detached. She has ben thru a lot as a child. I asked her why she keeps doing this to me and he response was" I am everything that she wants in her life, and it scares her death" Is this just an excuse ladies? Or is this possible?
2007-12-24 09:18:04 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
true and if u luv her u will be there for her when she needs u and give her space when she needs it good luck
2007-12-24 09:22:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That really sucks alot. It does sound like something you have little to no controll over. All you can do is make sure you're being yourself and treating her right. If you let her walk all over you she could lose interest and you'll get a response like that, but if you're being a strong confident you as well as a caring and sweet bf, then she may have psychological issues that are preventing her from trusting herself in a relationship.
If it's the psychological issues, she needs to work through them. If she's not willing/able to work through them and trust you/herself on her own, she may need to seek out other help.
I'm always a believer in "things that start fast will end fast" Instead of a slow burning flame, alot of people have relationships like explosions. Super hot and powerful, but they only last a really short time. Maybe you should distance yourself from her, see if you can find someone else. This time (even if it's with her again), take it really slow, see if that helps/changes anything. I wouldn't get back with her unless she proved to me she's willing to do whatever it takes to work out her problems though.
2007-12-24 17:27:00 · answer #2 · answered by BrandonM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she has committment issues. She should get couseling for it. Unless she is happy with herself, and able to understand some people aren't actually that bad, she shouldn't be in a relationship.
I think you should distance yourself from her for a while... or just break it off with her until she figures out what she wants.
What she's doing is depressing for the both of you.
2007-12-24 17:21:01 · answer #3 · answered by ^^PaperHeart^^ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I know what she is doing. Have you ever read Conversation with God book 1. In there it has a section that says this. " We (humans) love, then fear (fear that we don't deserve something or that it will be taken away somehow), then we destroy what we loved, only to want it again. Look at your girl, is this not what she does? Her fear causes her to destroy the one relationship that brings her joy.
She needs spiritual healing to be honest and to learn acceptance of oneself and come to the realization that every experience in life is not meant for us to live in defeat but to have learned from it and claim victory.
2007-12-24 17:25:01 · answer #4 · answered by Time To Go 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's possible she's giving a real reason, because of her childhood experiences she could be commitmentphobic. Unfortunately, that doesn't help you with any long term plans with her.
She needs to seek counseling for her issues, but until she's ready to do so, she isn't going to. Until she's dealt with her issues, she will continue this little dance with you as long as you are willing to do it.
2007-12-24 17:29:38 · answer #5 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are everything that she wants then she wouldn't keep running away. I think it is just an excuse for her to do whatever it is that she is interesting in doing at that moment. As long as you keep allowing her to come back when its convenient for her she will keeping doing it.
2007-12-24 17:25:33 · answer #6 · answered by brown sugar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to tell her that you love her and will be there for her to help her with whatever it is that she is going through, even go to counseling with her about this...but if she does this to you often, you got to let her know that you don't want to put your life on hold everytime she freaks out.
2007-12-24 17:21:05 · answer #7 · answered by dizzymissy1985 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a ridiculous situation. why do you go back? you are the lame one for repeating this pattern.
we all have issues, the trick is you have to get past them before you can have a REAL meaningful relationship with someone else. She should get past her childhood issues before you get back with her again. â¥
2007-12-24 17:27:05 · answer #8 · answered by Mamasita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be an excuse to NOT be with you because maybe she feels that she's not good for you or is afraid of getting close to you, hurting you.
Could be possible...but don't want to hurt you.
It's possible that she's afraid to stay connected or unsure of how to be connected and like it...because of her childhood.
2007-12-24 17:24:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
SOMETIMES WOMEN HAVE TROUBLE STAYING WITH THE PERSON THAT IS TRUELY GOOD TO THEM. ESPECIALLY IF MOST OF HER RELATIONSHIPS (INCLUDING OTHER PEOPLE NOT JUST BOY FRIENDS) HAVE BEEN BAD EXPERIENCES. IT MAY TAKE QUITE A WHILE FOR HER TO GET USED TO BEING TRUELY LOVED AND FEELING THE FEELINGS OF KINDNESS. GOOD LUCK
2007-12-24 17:29:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋