*sigh* I get that cheating is disrespecting someone by allowing another into your relationship, and usually thats the end. But my BF is pretty different. When he found out, things were pretty hard, he basically told me that if that ws what i wanted, he loved me enough to let me make my own choices. It may be a little hard to express, but i feel like crap for what I did, and he hasn't been himself. I havent spoken with the other guy ever since, so i've been giving everything i can for him instead. Everything he always wanted from me but it was always so hard to fully give him, my time, my affections, he always did those for me to make up for not meeting him halfway. He doesn't speak a lot anymore, even when we're cuddling, it wasn't like before where he made me feel so warm all the time, i'm doing most of the work now and based on his expressions, im terrible at it. I'm pretty much prepared to give him anything to make things better, asides from time, how can i make up for what i did?
2007-12-24 08:41:46 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if someone i loved really cheated on me i would be so hurt!! I would tell them how hurt i was and give them one more chance but if it happened again i would realize i could do better and give my love to someone who would respect me
2007-12-24 08:45:45 · answer #1 · answered by jellybeanqueen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You betrayed his trust. He loves you but probably fell out of love with you because he figured if you had really loved him you would not have cheated on him. You hurt his pride and that is the worst thing you can do to a guy is take away his pride. So you got what you deserved and I hope this was a good lesson for you to learn, cheating is never a good answer it destroys the core or foundation of the relationship.
Time will heal and if it doesn't you should call it a day and move on.
2007-12-24 16:48:10 · answer #2 · answered by Time To Go 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend obviously no longer trusts you, and isn't willing to extend to you any real intimacy.
I don't think you can ever 100% make up for cheating. Things certainly won't go back to the way they were before...
What you can do is this:
1) Resolve to NEVER do it again,
2) Beg forgiveness from you partner,
3) Do whatever it takes to re-earn his faith and trust in you,
4) with time, be willing to forgive yourself, after all else is done.
If you aren't willing to do ALL of these things, plus whatever else is necessary; then you should consider the relationship over. Furthermore, if you don't do these things, your are likely to make the same mistake in the future.
Also, keep in mind that whatever else happens, the only person you can change is YOURSELF. You can't change him, and you certainly can't force him to love you or trust you again; though you can hope. He is not responsible for your own choices, you are.
That said, still I hope only the best of luck for you. For what it's worth, merry Christmas.
~WOMBAT
2007-12-24 17:08:05 · answer #3 · answered by WOMBAT, Manliness Expert 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't undo what has been done. You have ruined his trust in you, and that is something that is so very hard to rebuild. There is a reason that you where with someone else, and you need to find out if it was your own selfish desires, or something he did that had you look elsewhere. You might have made him wonder about his own manhood and what he did wrong. I would consult a counselor and find if the relationship can be repaired.
2007-12-24 16:57:26 · answer #4 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well what exactly did you think? That he was supposed to not be hurt over you cheating? He sounds depressed and with good cause. You didn't have time for your relationship and affections with him but had time to cheat with someone else? It is a wonder he is even still with you. You can never make it up to him. It sounds as if you do not really love him.
2007-12-24 16:46:26 · answer #5 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok hunni relax... deep breath.
tell him how your feeling and that you feel bloody guilty and that you know that it will never be the same.
tell him you miss the old days, and that your so sorry, even if says its ok you say "ITS NOT OK, I CHEATED ON YOU, IM HORRIBLE, IM A PIG .ECT"
really let him know that your deeply sorry.
Ok that was step one,, You let him know your DEEPLY sorry,
step two. Try and make it up to him. so he needs to go to the shops to pick up something, you do it for him. treat him well
step three. Ask him if it will ever be the same, seek comfort in him. And maybe agree on some things to help make the relationship work. like more time togeather, stuff like that.
hope this helps.
p.s try not listen to sad music, itll bring you down
2007-12-24 16:50:49 · answer #6 · answered by kamala S 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You cant.
You feel like crap because you have a conscious.
Truth be told, you wont be able to get away from that feeling.
You learn to live with it by forgiving yourself, or by giving your BF the freedom to be with someone who wouldn't do that to him...
Those are your choices
2007-12-24 16:47:19 · answer #7 · answered by freshbliss 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
That's really hard and we can't really say if you can make up for it. Its just like starting from scratch. Trying to earn peoples trust again. Good luck.
2007-12-24 16:54:20 · answer #8 · answered by sharkie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating is a very messy action. I don't think there may be a chance for you but time will solve that mystery.
2007-12-24 16:46:59 · answer #9 · answered by journey 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
once you cheat on someone, their trust for you goes down. you cant really make it up for him. but just hope you learned the lesson. when you cheat, think about how the other person feels. you cant just think about yourself. you cant do much but apologize and move on.
2007-12-24 16:56:53 · answer #10 · answered by Elmo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋